Being with you was
Ice water with mint gum

Loving you was
Wood pages and warm rain

Losing you was
Muffled screams and dry air

Now without you is
Fresh breeze and pomegranate seeds

I'm always here for you
Here, where I always am
Ready to be your shoulder
Or to be your laughter

And at the end of the day
My shoulders slump
And my smile decays
I always each out first

But, you're not good at texting back
To me
See, you're not good at being here
For me

Surrounded, I always seem
But only because I surround myself
Not because they surround me
So here I am

But don't worry
I'll always be there for you
Even if
You're never there for me.

Pill after pill
Stanza after stanza

A medicine of confession
Poetry, a prescription

For the pain
I would never show

For the joy
I never wrote

Swallowed
Now with ink on paper

sprouts grow out my eyes,
renewed.
icicles freeze along my ribs,
numb.
waves roar against my palms,
gentle.

Dear Journal,        o1.o8.19

I'm discovering that i really have no idea who i am or what i am... isn't that interesting that i am me, but i don't know who that is.