I found him, waiting on a girl who loved someone else
He was fighting desolation in total isolation
He was broken
I found him following behind her
Memorizing the way she walks, each step imprinted onto his brain
Like tattooing her body language up and down his arms, running his hands across them because it reminded him of touching her
He said she was his Achilles heel
I found him in the soft dusk light
Telling me that he loved me but that he loved her more
Declaring that there was something there, he just knew it
but that it was not enough to stand on
This was never a story about rescue, this is the story of the fall
I know that you cannot help the way you feel but neither can I
That is what makes this all the more difficult for the both of us

I found you and I tried to help you up
But you insisted that staying down there with her in torture
Was much easier than walking away with a limp

I have a problem with love
I tend to fall for people far to quickly
And not just one person
Multiple people draw me to them convincing me
That one more love story won't be so bad
My problem with love is that I love the chase
When I catch them I am often not sure what to do
Will often confuse love with other kinds of addiction
I've learned that I love the adrenaline more than the person
So I am sorry if my feet tend to wander
When you tell me that you love me
I simply do not believe the body was meant to stand still
And I know one day I will lose my urge to run
But for now, I will lace up my shoes
In hopes that you realize, the only way to make me stay is to untie them
So as I am walking away
I fall

I want you and you want her and there is really nothing else to it

Some advice I would have given myself last weekend
One.
If something feels wrong, do not do it. When you want to call him, hand your phone to your best friend because she can do less damage with it then you can.
Two.
When he tells you he was interested in someone else, do not reach for the alcohol. I know that it hurts but you will feel worse in the morning and it is not worth it, it never was.
Three.
When the stench of cigarettes and cold sweat tattoos itself on your skin, do not wash it off. Let the odor sink in until you realize that it is one that you do not need.
Four.
When you feel tired, go to sleep. Though staying awake seems like the more fun option realize that your body is setting into fatigue for a reason.
Five.
When you want to jump out the window, don’t. The ground seems so close but it isn't. When your friend pulls you away do not walk back.
Six.
Pick yourself up, wash the aroma of last night from your back, listen to it disappear into your shower drain, let the water be too hot. Close your eyes and focus on the memory tearing from your body, last night was a lesson, learn from it and move on.

A love that is not tangible
One that stands just close enough to reach for
With the illusion that it is close enough to touch
It isn't
It is sweet and lures you in like a blind man to beautiful music
I look at him, wide eyed gaze as my heart seizes inside of my chest
Lips pursed in expectation of what may never be
The way my knees break at the sound of your voice
Like I am bowing down to God
I save your words, tucking them into my pocket because
I only hear something so gentle and alluring so much
And suddenly the anxiety of truth wraps itself around my chest
Reminding my heart beat to slow because it is no use in getting so worked up
Over something so unattainable