my thoughts run like a faucet
I wish I could sleep
I feel like I've lost it
I just lay here and weep
and I think how it's crazy
how fast lives are lost
from 911 to the holocaust
to suicide to overdosing
to accidents to accidental choking
and there's no way to tell
there's no way to know
life could end any second
expectations are low
I try to rewind
to slow down time
but I'm trapped in a box

mime

It's been a very tiring week for me. I've been bombarded with unwanted questions and it feels like i've been shot with problems from different angles. Maybe, this is a sign. One of the consequences of leaving Him. I should go back to Him because in the end, we shall return to Him. I'm sorry.

People often use the term "home is where the heart is" as reference that home is a literal place. That you can touch it, feel it, live in it and it's physically there. But I just can't seem to wrap my mind around that. Because my heart belongs to a home that isn't there in a physical sense. My home is the way you say my name and draw circles on my lower back. My home is built and structured in between your arms and in the crook of your neck. I've never felt more at home then when we are skin to skin and I want to pull you even closer. No my home is not a building, my home is you and that's where my heart will always be.

~

Painted in a corner

Smeared about the floor

Chants of lone forgiveness

Quiet in the war



“Deafening the sound of death”



Garden roses trampled

Broken stems abound

Wilting on the visions

Blooming losses found



“Petals of peace scattered carelessly”



Blood along the pathway

Eyes hid in the mist

Penning someone else’s name

On this lengthy list



“Alphabetical to the grave”



Standing from the shadows

Crossing battle lines

Reaching for the freedom

Voices loud can find



“Speak up children, your voices matter”



Put aside your weapons

Time has come to cease

The nation now has gathered

United prayer for peace



*“On our hands and knees we pray… send the evil far away”

Funny how a single human being can change your mood and make you feel things in one shot. And they do whatever they want- sweet talks and everything just to catch your attentions.

Foolish, I fell into his trap and then when everything seems right, he left me hanging - no words. It is like the universe stops and he turns into someone else and the next day you know, he stop talking to you. He treats you like one of his unwanted strangers.

Foolish, why did I unguarded my heart. What on earth have I done?! I should not let a dumbfounded guy just walks easily in my life and plant thorns in me.

Everything collapse. For what it is worth, I am sorry I thought someone could love me. "What is the point of loving someone if you do not love yourself?" I tell myself. Save the tears for someone worth keeping.

Have you ever feel the need to just dig your ear phone down your ears and volume up everything. Lost in transition and in that moment, you care about nothing. At all. Because life is easier that way. When you don't have to care about things around you and just.. live. With no regrets. Because sometimes it is easier that way. You don't have to care about others' feelings, you do what you want, no burden sinks you. Everything is in place and you hope it stays like that forever.