We'll paint
the world
pastel red
and sing
songs as
the world
falls apart.
       And I'll remind
you that
you're absolutely
beautiful when
we take our
last breaths
       And although
I was never
able to
write every
moment
and paint
every horizon
we've rested
our time upon.
      I'd like to
think that
I made you
the happiest you
could ever be.

You crawled up within my skin
took a taste of my anxiety and welcomed yourself in
wove my fears together and built yourself a home
upon the road of my aching bones
you travel endlessly
and all these indoor bruises that they can not see
I can never stop feeling
Unable to keep you away
I buried my secrets six feet deep
but every day you bring them flowers
everyday you sing to them
and now I am the stranger
wandering hopelessly around your new home
every day I knock,
but no one's ever home

I thought I mattered to someone. Somewhere.
Thought I was alright.
But I'm not.
I'm searching for a soul.
Someone who cares.
One that will help me win this battle against myself.
I think today is the day.
Where I say I've had enough of this pain.
Take the pills to feel again.
Enough of slant rhymes..
Enough of Luna.
Enough of everything I had made.    
Are you gonna care?
I'm just gonna try to take my life.
Try to find light elsewhere.
Dear god, take the air from my lungs.
Because, honestly I've had enough.

Your silence

Your silence wraps me like a worn blanket,
thin and frayed, providing no warmth,
no protection from the cold that invades
my every pore as I sit here
shivering with fear, questioning every shadow
moving outside of the window,
lurking, as if sneering
at this emptiness drenching my soul
with worry and doubt

"The quiet so that I might hear my own heart beat if it weren't broken"  

Lost inside these four walls,
stained and patterned of vacuous dreams,
folding within the plaster nightmares
My eyes wet, red and stoic,
nervously seeking any minute reassurance,
even the faintest of whispers
that you are somehow with me
as I wait, counting dust particles
in the muted sunlight
cowering in this corner
with only your silence…echoing in my mind

~

Towards the tree line

I stare towards the tree line,
misshapen and abstract on my eyes
Fading in autumn’s chill and leafless
emptiness that I still cannot see

Oh it is there, screaming at me,
waving in the wind, calling in birdsong
But my eyes travel more…
a distance well beyond any footpath I’ve taken

Shelved on the high land vistas
now filled with charcoal persuasions
So very far, miles on scaled dotted lines,
asphalt tearing at my soles, untied laces drag

Still I gaze, following my heart into loneliness
Reaching for but a hint of a smile,
a fix-all for that broken heart,
a mosaic sponge to catch your tears…I find none

Tossing a stone, it bounces on fielded diaries,
words of pain scribbled before even a thought
Collections of wishes in a four leaf clover pockets,
brushed of life’s unfairness

If only I could hold you,
safely beneath that frown,
gently with the touch of every meaning,
building a wall to turn back the sorrow

Ivy covered in green temptations
breathing of trust and love,
lingering at locked doors to secure peace
And yet, I can only stare towards the tree line…blind and worthless

Alone on a silent shoreline,
sea breeze emotions paint my skin
Sands of time slip away as I count the stars
wondering why so many seem to smile,
when I don’t

Storm fence pickets stand straight,
weathered of years watching
Holding at bay the impending dunes
where my footprints once shared these moments
with another

Salt water teardrops fall,
meeting the beach in sorrow’d pools
lonely silhouettes of my heart shaped shadows
empty and vacant, longing for that one
to forgive

Disenchanted sandcastles disappear with the tide
as do these words we compiled together
never to be written again, on paper or in the sand
Now I only watch my dreams fade into the horizon,
missing you