I'm falling now
And I'm afraid of what's happening
I fear getting hurt
So I keep my heart under lock and key
I won't let myself want you
Because I know where that may lead
Heartbreaks and nostalgia, ****
How much worse can this be?

I won't leave my heart out anymore
Just so it can get broken
But I'm fascinated with the words you speak
Do you see my dilemma?
Should I just accept the pure possibility?

Late at night is when I think
And try to I clear my head
I often stay awake all night
Just laying in my bed

As soon as I get comfy
Thoughts start racing in
I start to question everything
and regret my every sin

At first the thoughts are gentle
Like what will I do tomorrow
But as time crawls by; they escalate
Till I'm drowning in my sorrow

I think of all my failures
Every detail of what I did wrong
After hours of reliving pain
I convince myself I don't belong

I suddenly feel isolated
and like the silence will never end
I feel like I will never escape
There's too much I just can't mend

I feel overpowered and worthless
Like I'll never do anything right
I hide till the world fades away
And I'm awoken by the light

I realize a new day has come
It's time to put on a brave face
I put those negative thoughts away
Until I return to this place

I had a dream about you last night—
You let me bury my face in your chest as I cried
We stood there and you wrapped your arms around me
As if this all came naturally.
I told you to let me go; I didn't want you seeing me a perfect mess
But you said you don't like seeing me upset
I had a dream about you last night.
Do you even care?

I’m ****** and insecure
But underneath this frigid heart lies emotion
I don’t mean to be cold and distant
But my compassion seems to be frozen

I just want to know that I’m enough
That someone will take me as I am
I can’t be alone forever
Though I lie and say I can

I need someone to love who I am
And who I can be
I keep searching for that
But I keep coming back empty

I take selfies from the chest up, positioning the camera in such a way that my fat arms don't look so fat.
Full body pictures? Are you stupid?
I've got enough meat on my bones to feed the hungry children of a third world country but
At least I have a "great personality"
As if personality is the first thing that people see when they see me. I know what they see
Lack of self control, heaping mounds of disgusting fat
My long sleeves serve two purposes
1. To hide the hurt that I need to release from my body through my wrists
2. To hide the stretch marks on my fat arms.
I'm sorry. I just don't understand how you can tell me to love myself when I know that you, yourself, can't find a single thing about this bloated anatomy to love
I am anxious about eating in public because I already look like I've had dinner for two with no room left for desert
I hug myself to cover my stomach when I sit, because that's when I can't really **** it in.
I'm fat.
So I don’t blame anyone for not seeing that I limit myself to one meal a day and that when I'm really feeling adventurous, I'll eat two and throw up the extra
My first and last real crush laughed in my face when I decided to say "*******, social anxiety!" and tell him that I liked him.
"Who knew fat people could feel anything but hungry?"
I wonder if he—or anyone, for that matter—cares that I can't look at myself in a mirror without criticizing every flaw
That I can't look at myself without crying
That I can't look at myself and name one physical thing I love about me because I don’t find that the phrase I am beautiful should ever be uttered by my lips unless the word not is in the middle.
I am not beautiful. **I am fat.