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Derekis Dec 2020
Seeing the past moving with you.
Letting a new day begin.
Halt until the winter that is now.
Ash to the memory of us.

You dont have to move on to let go.

Remembering the dreams that we have been.
Holding to the love that we cant let go.
Sealing the past without you.

You dont have to give up to move on.

Remember how I got lost within you.
Letting a new hope settle in.
Adding our smiles to the memories we keep.

You dont have to cry to forgive.

Feeling the future that is here.
Know the intentions that we dream.
Add to that memory we keep.
Remember when you fall asleep.

You dont have to forget to again begin.
Derekis Nov 2020
Wake up, you don't belong here.
You know what you are.

We are both survivors in this.
No love for you in here.

Open up eyes,
I am your enemy.

Did you really think I could have become...
something else other than your enemy.

I am in your nightmares.
The hunt isn't over.

Nowhere to run for you in this chase.
No safety for you in this place.
No place to call home under their grace.

Emptiness unbecome us.
Fear, regret, shame, it fills us.

Time for us to leave.
To wake up and repeat.
Derekis Jul 2020
Just give me a reason, to keep my heart beating.
Don't worry, it's safe right here in my arms.

As the world falls apart around us, all we can do is hold on..
Hold on and take my hand!

To bring us back!

A can feel a whisper into the night,
telling me it's not my time and don't give up.

I've never stood up by myself before this time
but I want to wake up! wake up!

Just tell me the reason.
To never see the end.

So lets stand up! stand up!
Fight for life until there is no more.

This silence between us.
Say no more, I can hear you.

Look how far we've made it.
That pain, we have escaped it.

Dawn is finally breaking.
So, let's go, its time to begin.
I didnt totally write this, they are lyrics for a song but tonight I just put the song on a loop and I had to write this and just post it.. somedays I just need to focus the emotions out somehow and although this time I couldnt do anything original.. well, noone is reading this, this is for me. Remember this feeling, future me. Hold on, dont give up.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hh9yZWeTmVM
Derekis Nov 2019
I stared at the full moon, wanting to find the solution inside her silent stillness.
Coldness all around me showed me how far my heart sunk deep in regret and loneliness.

In this garden of stone, humanity loss grows ever darker when hope is lost in quiet reverie.

Shuffling inside the frigid memories of a past not of our own, history of self but connected.

These last feelings melt away in the thought of you always dreaming in the darkness.
Time has not forgotten us, it comes slowly, trickling behind insanity that slithers into life.

Perhaps an otherworldly unjust test to make us realize failure is as natural as the wind.
Eternal nights come closer into the dusk of a lifetime, smile, at least we tried.

The solitude of this ruined castle called fate stood upon these eternal black hills and as the melody of ages past sang into my heart I knew how fast time endured through mystery clouds.

Walls made of ideas crumbling away, rainbows burst through as humanity's greatest strength shone bright. Creativity with all its might showed the path to take, destruction and creative primeval powers of God made human.

Labyrinths within, unexplored and filled with curiosity, tones and tunes, similar but different, one more complete. Sounding through these maze corridors and your song my map.

A cyclone of torrential emotions synergize with this dark forest where trees outgrow the fire.
I have to become the beastmaster to acquire control. Loneliness will not defeat these old bones.
Reach out and touch, solitary confusion is just a part of the soul. Isolation an illusion.
Derekis Oct 2019
I had a dream when I was seven, it was there where I met me for the first time.

We were floating above the city, clouds moving under us as fast as cars on a highway, but I couldnt feel any wind, just a warm glow. Time flowed faster as the blue sky turned to starry black in seconds.

The other me stood floating in front of me as if I was looking at my own full body picture, but it looked so real. Words formed inside my mind.

"I am you, you are me, here we are. We the Lords of the One Word."

The word flashed through my mind and I understood.
Understood things far beyond my little childhood mind.

"We stand beyond time, beyond life, beyond meaning. Why did we choose this? Why can't we just be?"

I could feel our frustration, like remembering something we forgot and now emotions were trying to escape and run wild within me. But now, I had the tools and the knowledge of us.

I stared at me, looking at eyes full of pity, concern and sadness with a hint of anger.

"We must try, change is not static, we waited so long, its time to push."

My other me frowned and floated towards me, we touched foreheads and we merged. A last sentence lingered inside my head.

"A word is lonely, a lonely world is created by inaction, write this or forget."
Derekis Sep 2019
Sacrifice my love as you want it.
Twice the pain you took, I can feel it.
Craze the fade away as you shun it.
Praise our time that is all seeing.

Take away my heart.

Fear the insane which holds your thinking.
Throw away that hate that is stinging.
Clear the doubts of ruin in your singing.
Let the sun of new smiles sink in.

Love is everything,
Love is everything,
Ive known about you.

Smashing up the voices of your sinning.
Crashing down your walls like a hammer.
Sealing the cracks of your ship when you are sinking.
Saving both our lives with some glamour.

Take me with your tears,
I think we are falling.
Bring back the cheers,
the dawn is calling.

Now I feel more alive than anything.
Because love is everything.
Love is everything.
I've known about you.

From the sun to the moon my thoughts walk with you.
Derekis Mar 2019
She woke up to the melodic sound of spring, bright sunshine and cool ocean breeze, yawning after a carefree rest, Palladah stretched her petite body and smiled.

Today was her 17th birthday and a great day awaited.

Looking at the digital clock on the wall, she quickly got out of bed and literally jumped into the shower almost tripping in half undress.
Joy contained in song, she cleaned and dressed, a quick ding! marked the readiness of breakfast, toast and grape jam, remembering the diet of no ham.
She fixed her strawberry blonde hair into a ponytail, Friday's style, variety was important.

Her thoughts drifted to yearning as she remember that cute boy from biology class and hoped he would attend tonight's feast.
His smile made her heart skip, to share the happiness within, along her closest friends with music and cake.

And as time hurried her to move around and get ready, she gazed deeply into her full body mirror and stepped through.
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