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  Apr 2018 natalie
fdg
full stomach, aching chest
i try again to push my fingers through the screen of my phone
(i just want to brush my fingertips against yours while we call)
i am full of desire
for conflict = love vs. lust, joy vs. death
meaning
i'm not quite sure what i want some nights,
but i always want to be next to you

love poems make me nauseous sometimes, looking back at all the past ones i wrote thinking the feeling might last
but naively, perhaps, i'll say that you feel very different  
i'm not afraid either way...
(okay. afraid of losing you, too)
  Apr 2018 natalie
fdg
4am, why am i so angry?
the usual mistake of thinking i want to die when in reality i just want to curl up and stick my head into his rib cage,
blink with his beating heart,
rest for a while and come back ready
to take on each day,
a little extra protection
  Apr 2018 natalie
fdg
i miss you
steady guitar riff in a loop
tucked behind my ear
you trace your fingers there
i fall asleep with a smile
natalie Apr 2018
sweet wonderful you,
you make me happy with the things you do.
oh, can it be so?
this feeling follows me wherever i go.

don't don't break the spell.
it would be different and you know will.
you, you make loving fun.
and i don't have to tell you but you're the only one.
You Make Loving Fun - Fleetwood Mac
natalie Apr 2018
i used to love you sober.



               i've been high for days.
natalie Mar 2018
"I smell *** and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair?
Who's that casting devious stares in my direction?
Momma this surely is a dream, yeah
Yeah, momma this surely is a dream"
*** and Candy - Marcy Playground
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