full stomach, aching chest
i try again to push my fingers through the screen of my phone
(i just want to brush my fingertips against yours while we call)
i am full of desire
for conflict = love vs. lust, joy vs. death
meaning
i'm not quite sure what i want some nights,
but i always want to be next to you

love poems make me nauseous sometimes, looking back at all the past ones i wrote thinking the feeling might last
but naively, perhaps, i'll say that you feel very different  
i'm not afraid either way...
(okay. afraid of losing you, too)

4am, why am i so angry?
the usual mistake of thinking i want to die when in reality i just want to curl up and stick my head into his rib cage,
blink with his beating heart,
rest for a while and come back ready
to take on each day,
a little extra protection

i miss you
steady guitar riff in a loop
tucked behind my ear
you trace your fingers there
i fall asleep with a smile

sweet wonderful you,
you make me happy with the things you do.
oh, can it be so?
this feeling follows me wherever i go.

don't don't break the spell.
it would be different and you know will.
you, you make loving fun.
and i don't have to tell you but you're the only one.

i used to love you sober.



               i've been high for days.

"I smell *** and candy here
Who's that lounging in my chair?
Who's that casting devious stares in my direction?
Momma this surely is a dream, yeah
Yeah, momma this surely is a dream"