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What does the future have in store
that I need the strength
all these trails are supposed to be giving me?

What does my character lack
that it needs these lessons?

Or am I purely being punished?

Tell me the truth
set me free.
"I kissed a feminist once",
he says, face flushed blotchy, something heavy resting on his shoulders
maybe
“I kissed a feminist once,”
and everybody laughs
“she was cold as ice,” he says
and he doesn’t mention how I turned
warm beneath his fingers,
heated up like embers
and reduced his bed to flame and ashes
“God was she mean,” he says
but he hasn’t forgotten the time
I told him to be kind to himself, to
purge the poison from his veins and
scrape the smoke from his lungs
“I love you I love you I love you”
I said,
“please love yourself too”
“I kissed a feminist once,”
he says, to loud guffaws,
an elbow in his side
and he doesn’t say “her lips
were the softest thing to ever brush
my collar bone”
he doesn’t say “she made playlists in my mind”
or “she covered me like a blanket”
or “her teeth on my earlobe ripped me open and scattered me across the sheets of her twin bed”
he doesn’t say “I loved that
storm of a girl,
I loved her heavy at 4am I loved
her like pennies
at the bottom of a fountain
like memorized freckles
I loved her like depth perception
like opposable thumbs
I loved her I loved her I loved her”
and instead he shrugs
that heavy thing off his shoulders
and shrugs the feel of my lips
off his chest and he says,
“she was a crazy ***** anyway”
- Lily Cigale
This was too beautiful not to share.
I carry my times like an autopsy scar,
they have marked me where imagination would fear to go,
but they show me a way to relate to the sign on each day,
they open my heart.

This decoration,
this cross
is my gain
it is also my loss.

I always remember that.
 Sep 2015 deanena tierney
J
They were a sorry hope, and
unlikely wish,
but that didn't make them
any less true.
I whispered them to
the empty space,
Still hoping someday they would
get to you.
Tomorrow, fate might find me
Tomorrow, I could live in bed
Tomorrow, I might find my true love
Or regret all that I've said
\Yesterday, when I was looser
Yesterday, knew why I wept
Yesterday, so cold and lonely
Oh! I'm glad it's finally spent
\Today is now, and when it finds me
Hopefully, I'll be with you
Today is now, and never lonely
Now that I am beside you
It's one of those days where I need to remember to be kind to myself
When my breath is hardly enough to give life to an elf
One of those days where I struggle to get out of bed
I cant get anything to sit right in my head
Simply for eating something, I pat myself on the back
I have to keep reminding myself not all my thoughts are fact
John Michael stipe says not to take pictures of the bad days
To hide them away and leave it where it lays
But I take the pictures, and keep them on a shelf
To remind myself how to pick me up again when I fell
I send the bad me good thoughts on postcards
To tell myself that some days are just hard
The bad me is cold, careless and not at all nice
She likes to indulge in every frowned upon vice
Yet I accept the bad me just as I do the good
Tomorrow might be a better day and the good me will win in all likelyhood
It's 7am again
but today I'm awake already
smiling even.
That's pretty unusual.
You see I'm not a morning person.
Never have been,
but I'm awake and smiling at 7am because you're here.
Because I'm a you person
If I didn't write it down you might never know.
You see very shortly I'm going to go back to sleep
going pull myself back in behind you
place my arm around you
breathe you in, deeply, and slip gently back to sleep.
The warmth of your body is all the blanket I need
your scent the trigger of a thousand dreams
And if history is anything to go by,
in a little while,
an hour,
maybe two,
your eyes will blink themselves open,
you'll stir a little,
feel my arm around you
my chest against your back
my legs among yours
and you'll smile,
pull me a little closer
then drift back to sleep.
Because just as being with you turns the night owl into a morning person,
the morning person in you, sleeps in a little longer than usual, savors the contact, the intimacy, the moment
because you're a me person now
it's who we've become
it's who we were meant to be
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