Why can men not figure you out?
One may say they talk in code. and
Men try all theirs lives to solve it, but an
Eternity comes before they do.
No more trying to solve it, just guess and check

One day the sun will burst
And darkness will fill the sky
Your mouth will die of thirst
As your body remains still to die

But this is not now
Nor is it seen soon
So don't be so slow
And reach for the stars and moon

Live your life for yourself
And experience it all
Stack the memories on your shelf
For life is one big ball

My emotions are high
My thoughts are racing
But my hands refuse to let go
As my words are rocky and my phrases rough

This feeling is new to me
A Depression that adapts and changes
One that shows no comfort
And consumes you whole

How do I deal with such a foe
I'm unaware and afraid
As it is cunning and smart
Using my mind against me

I fear the worst will come
From the weight of this confusion
My legs are shaking
And the knife has been sharpened

Blood is what my depression wants
Blood is what my depression needs
My Blood given to it by me

The pain is severe
That lays on my shoulders
And my legs will give out
To the pressure of perfection

I love her so much
but perhaps it isn't meant to be
I will think of you
In silent for no one to see

Stuck inside this body
Unable to leave
I wish it would all end
So I could be free

Thinking of that one person
Every morning I wake up

Hoping to be with that one person
With every breath
With every heart beat

Wishing I had that one person
In every dream
In every thought

Realizing that I love that one person
Through all the hardships
Through all the mistakes

Thinking of that one person
Every night before I fall asleep

My thoughts run wild on you
They can't be stopped or tamed
I feel their numbers growing
The more I grow in my pain

My mind needs to be free of you
Somehow I will make it so
It will be hard and tough for me
So we will separate for good when i go

Distance and time hasn't changed you  
I assure you that is no lie
Perfection that blooms within your soul
Is the the best thing I will see before I die

Age 9
I will make you proud Dad
You just wait and you will see
I will travel the world Dad
Walk tall and drink coffee for you to see

Age 13
I will make you proud Dad
If you stay here you will see
I will go to your college Dad
Play baseball and football for you to see

Age 16
I can still make you proud Dad
Can you not leave this time for me
I will improve my grades Dad
Date girls and work harder if you don't leave

Age 18
I'm still trying to make you proud Dad
If you won't open your eyes to see
I will take my life Dad
With this knife in my hand you will notice me

We are all a family
You may love some
You may hate some
You may never meet some

We are all skeptics and believers
We are drop outs and over achievers
We are young and old
We are shy and bold

Looking deep within
I know not what I am.

I know I am crying
but I'm also trying
yet i still feel like dying

I look so blue
It's the way I feel without you
I will never start anew

I need a wishful token
not a brain thats broken