You drank to escape and to ease
Instead your desires clouded your soul
The whimper shouts from the inside to stay still
To sleep alone another night
To stay good and do what's right
Is ignored as your demon is above my shoulder
And your whisper is in my ear
As you wait til silence marks my lips
That is when you make your slay and cause me to slip
Surrounded by darkness, defenselessness
You suffocate my pleads of no
As you trick yourself into illusions of my conscious consent
And you shame me down,
My mind absent as you expose my lifeless, bare body
And my blank stare
Did you see my eyes?
They were speaking to you,
Asking why,
If you saw that girl that used to hang around and laugh
Or did you see a piece of meat, incomprehensible of what you were capable of doing
So vulnerable, she'll never tell
Oh sly you, thinking it was okay
To let everyone see, leaving invitations for the unwanted
And me to break upon their touches
My flesh bruised with fingertips
My mind ****** with their urges
Blacked out from shame and guilt
Only Its my fault, I deserved this filth?
You took away the last of my innocence
Left me unwanted and broken,
Not knowing love but only to be used
I didn't chose this, you abused and created this

Left behind once thought friends
They turn into monsters I fear
We all so broken,
From the fairy tales of love we mourn
So we seek love in the bottom of the bottle
To feed the power of denial
As we justify our actions fueled by the beast
To hurt and destroy others
so we can share the pain and ruin of loneliness together
An illusion of unity as we slowly slaughter one another
To black out the last of our guilt
Only we turn into the thoughts of our filth

My skin may be bruised while you continue cruise..
but seconds later
I stand withheld
Because you see, wounds heal
And your fingertips are no longer felt,
My neck free from your belt
I rebuild
So Thank you for giving the monster a borough in the back of my head
It's only so narrow
But now its filled, I have to thank you,
Thank you for making room
For the flowers to grow
Forever out of your reach
I can only heal after getting away from the leach you coast as
My skin was once blue
But after leaving you which was long overdue
I see being me is the only thing I need
And how I'm finally free

Intolerably cruel I am
As I rip out your heart
And spit on your head
But you still beg for me
Asking me to spare
What once was ours
Except all I see
Is the pity I once felt
And the emotionless daze
I have came across
Spending time in your presence,
Numb
I look for an escape
Only to waste days
And feel what I once sought
I kiss you
And feel you craze
I am bitter
And vicious
Out for blood
But in reality
I am just confused
And a lonely soul
Wandering back the same turf
We once laid out
But
Savior I am not
Only just the devils advocate
Dancing in his flames
Trapped in anger
As revenge fills my veins
From your venomous bite
And your consistent negligence
To **** it dry

Mental health is not a choice
It becomes a defect
It's visible
Yet everyone remains
Convinced of this new fashion statement
Was my elect
And unstableness
Is my preference
Except here I am
Screaming on the inside
For normal functions
And a stable mindset

I am at constant endurance
For the hurricanes roaring in my head
Crashing into my thoughts
Telling me what is rotting  
Destroying my homes,
Drowning my sanity
Even as I rebuild
I find myself
Falling into the gust of
Cycles that ruin me
Leaving me in defeat
In my decomposing, suffocated brain

Handling paranoia speaking into your ear
Constant talking
You never see
But only feel
Above your shoulder

Then the depression of suicide
Filled with emptiness and questioning
With nothing being real
And you left being numb

Only what follows that
Is the high of a life
Putting you ontop of it
Dangling your feet
But threats of dropping
Start pumping in your blood

Shaking,
Scared of it all
And uncontrollable worries
Make your sorry
You even went high
Gloom in the chase,
Death makes you quiet
Shelter and safe
You escape

Until you are bored and furious
Lashing out with whips
Against your loves
Screaming mindlessly
Wrecking your things
And hurting endlessly

Understand how
Your constant neglect
For the ill minded
And ignorance for the defected
Telling us to **** it up
And how it's our select
Is slowly slaughtering our self worth
In reality
You are the murderer  
Telling us
We are the romantically damaged
Except you omit
the hideous pumping chemicals
They feed us
To satisfy
Your false perception
Of who is sane
And who is to blame
Making us even more crazed

Day in my life
You wouldn't last a second
Try to understand
This cycle never ceases
But will only increase
With your toxins
And my decay

There is no cure
And I am left
Being adhered to this madness
And curving my life
With complicated composure
Of trying to survive
Vicious thoughts
And even more
Blood thirsty people

Emotions take me physical
Making me their slave
They trick me
Into a false reality
Consuming my sanity
They seize my control
I am held captive
With an illusion that is seeping through
And with a slight glance
I see them inside,
I am a puppet
Lifeless with eyes,
Eyes that gaze over
Them pulling strings
Once thought mine
Now torn to shreds
I start to fail,
And as I quiver
I stay quiet
This control over me
Has me still
But staring,
I plead silently
Just let me run away
Into thoughts once alive
But in reality
I am perishing
In lifeless thoughts
Filled with poison
That I am not awake
Only just a waste

They convince us
Make us craze the rare, 
The unorthodox, the plagues that once existed 
Without a trace they have escaped without care
Now they are back 
Hiding out with knives 
Waiting to cut you open 
Like so, they plant within me 
And I do the slaying 
Only what a delusion
It is solely me 
And my rotting perception 
Denying my evil 
Trying to explain these terrible things
That have latched onto my mind 
That have clouded my sanity 
Of what is right and what is wrong
I beg not to be crazy 
I beg not to be cruel 
I beg to see a reality 
That exist within the light 
To not crave, 
To not anger, 
To not lust,
To let me live a normal life
Only we are fed the lie 
That if it is not intense, not crazy 
It is meaningless
We are boring, we will fade away 
Into meaning nothing 
And existing as dust 
We will die, forgotten 
As few select others will rise 
Into being everything 
Living on forever 
As we go back to the black
To never exist
Killing even our cries 
Even our laughters 
This is why I beg to slaughter 
And to fight for my right 
To stay alive within these minds
Or so I fraud
Of not being scared
I am terrified and lonely
With no real companion
Alive in no head
Telling myself tis why
But I will never know
It is all a desloated try
To understand this empty heart of mine

If you take me now Away from this future
That has only allowed
Nothing I prefer
As everything disappears

I weep I weep
Dreaming to differ
From dreams that offer defeat
Can you save them mister?

Something I once sought
Has only learned to rot
In this graveyard of vision
That's lead to failed missions.

So I am here
Escaping the day through you
Yet I am still pretty near
The fear of my failed connections
That have never stayed true,
Will it all repeat?

Can I tell you my secrets
Can I feed you my lies
I don't belong here, it doesn't feel right
Let me escape into the night
While you look into my eyes,
Let me die at the knees of your shrine
I don't know what I want
But I know it's not to hold this light
Let me run, run away tonight

My fate, the blue face
My stomach turning to the sick pace
The tell of the end
As my heartbeat goes,
My skin turns
Say goodbye for me
As I should
Say goodbye to me
If you could
Let me rest
Let me go with ease
It was never the morning
That made me sick
Born to rot
Here with the return of the sick tongue
Everyday ******* in the death of tomorrow
Through these poison lips
**** me before it does
**** me before I slip
And I am taken without consent  
I feel it coming
Say goodbye for me
I want to say hello to the end

I am the offspring chosen to face our past
My grandparents could not cry and their parents could not grieve
Their gardens were empty and their stomachs were knotted
The twist so tight they sank into the ground while the walls rotted

Goodbyes were stolen, identities not built
Time spent living lives not truly felt
Generations before me, beneath me
They have chosen to lay in rest

But the burden does not remain away
Instead it sits with me
It is by my parents blinded rage or my grandma's quiet disapproval
That their uneasiness in their agnony is all of ours to feel

You see, this pain it demands to be seen
It engulfs the children, the lovers, and the sea
Embracing a storm trapping us into repeated beliefs

Legacy blinded by grief has no room to grow until we shed the layers of our mothers forgotten tears,
She was not allowed to cry but I shield her from uncertainty, the world is senseless but I sacrifice charting this land unsighted
Feeling this pain that has drowned generations before engulfs my existence


I scream into the dirt as I break us from this loop of silent agreement where survival is key
I bawl to my blood what they did to you was not moral and the lost mourns have been freed
Because I will always remember what couldn’t be seen is etched in our veins,
Our families blood is my blood that remains


My eyes may sting with ghost but I swore of an existence leaving the world less scorned,
My touch vigilant of the surfaces it reaches,
I welcome my future kin and sing him a story that there is a life worth living and it will forever be freed

Writing eludes me
As I search for the words
To fall upon this paper
But instead I am confronted
With past repeating beats of my pen
Singing along with the melody of sorrow

Extinguishing my pain
Into the forever of my notebook
Trying to ****  the details of my lovers
Only they stay lit,
Burning among my past
With the pages of my future
As my torch is to my felt-tip
As my oxygen is to my lust
Lighting up those well too known letters

Living in elapsed desires
They cannot elope my words
They surround my every thought
They cloud my every walk
For it is my murders
That drive this ink
Right through my chest
Making me mad
For the affliction I crave
And the people that
I'll take with me
Stored in these scratches
To that lonely grave

They sing a lullaby
Of living a life with no ringing
Your head clear as the sky
And your eyes, light as can be

Only they leave out the tears
And skip the chorus we know so well
The one with too much swearing
As they sing the sun so swell

Where are those words
The ones that detail our true self
The raw and naked, stabbed with a sword
How the moon sways down,
Kisses us awake
Leaving us wanting more

Or are we ignoring our wounds
Making up for lost time
We repair our sight
As if silence destroys all trouble
And this is the end of our fight

Or can we sing the open tune of our pain
And skip this terrible lullaby
Covering up my shame
I am tired of these lies

Or am I the only one,
Silently suffering
Screaming out sonnets
As I sit down and cry

Looking for the future
Instead we are here
Destroying the one thing we hold dear
Trying to escape the inevitable,
Of what?
Ceasing to exist
As you rot in oblivion
Or being pulled down
Into the fire of heat
Filled by our desires.
But don't give in
Don't let it capture you,
Don't build into the knots
Held down by our fear,
This unknown will never be clear
So we must stay loose along
With the ropes of our roots
For we are far better
Than the controlling devil inside
That hides in the crack
Of a moment of time
Too far away
To be in our mind

Escalated laughter
Rising from where?
A constant question,
Never appreciated
And never understood
What is going on,
How did she reach this peak
I'm sure they wonder
Why so happy
In circumstances quite bleak

But my highs are quiet
They scream out into
My excruciating smile
And my draining eyes
Will speak the constraint of force
I am being pushed by

All I know
Is when the lightheaded ease
Of the unsuspecting euphoria returns
It will be followed with
The death of a thousand mothers
And the stabs of twenty more wounds

You could say
That I beat your name
Into most of the day
Usually pointless thoughts
Or sometimes detailed ideas
That you make come alive
If only you were here
For longer than this trite of hope  

You could even say
How madly in love I've been
With the thought that my head
Creates for us to blend
Or maybe it's this insane trend
I've started, falling in love
With the friend
Who doesn't notice
Our mouths are too close
To speak truths
That we once wrote

I wish you here
to wipe the dust off my mouth

The new I miss you
doesn’t feel swell
I need your taste
so these bitter lips
stop feeding this limp world
It never was you
My muse.
it died long ago

I remember the letters
falling out of my fingertips
the touch of your hands
don’t feed my words
anymore
and its too late
To send a kiss
Redemption isn't allowed
once you turned away
on the person you were

You once told me
Something so sweet
About how I could change
Those shadows that hover deep

I believed your wide-eyed stories
Your reassuring truths
But once I saw your teeth
They started to rot
I soon became the filth
Neglected under your tongue

They thought what a waste,
It wasn’t a cigarette burn

You had them put me out
You had them chanting
I was the cancer
That came in flooding
Only it was you that was fleeting
Having them believe
I was a habit worth quitting

We might make it out alive
If we run fast enough out of our heads
It might not hurt so much
If we only bleed from the eyes to
Skip the chest.
It holds the dead air we could never grasp
Suffocating was the second best
To shattering our perceptions of the truth
That we both know.
We both know.
We will never make it out alive.

Dont say much, we could confuse it all
Optimism never wore well on you
Escapism was always a better outfit
So escape me, escape me fast
Make it brunt and beautiful
Bring the fragile shame
It goes along better when I whimper your name

Inward my heart, I escape
Hiding out from the scars
I build up my fortress
Of this lonely solitude that I itch for
And as I bleed, I seep
Into open voids
Of nothing but emptiness
Finding everything wrong
With my tainted universe
Of failed connections
And paranoia of betrayal
You were just another casualty
Of my failures
Of my flaws
Only I just wanted to be so raw,
To be real
When everything else was false
Couldn't you just stay awhile
And let me live in this dream
Where everything is alive
Where everything is alright

Sometimes
My questions are often answered
By the tiny voice in my head,
You know the passive one
That moves out of the way
For my obnoxious impulsive tendencies
That slit my wrist
With actions that have
Entirely no justification

I try to channel
The quiet soft whispers
But then stomeimes,
I smash it with a hammer
Demanding harder yelps

My insides are so messy
They need a vacuum cleaner
To **** it dry
Of all the intensity

Someimtes
I ask the question
Who will love these voices
As much as i do
Or even a fraction will settle
But I am always left
Smiling with the tears
Of an almost encounter
With your better half

Those paranoid eyes
A set of two
Paired with one
Trying to read each others pupils
And catch those lies
The ones set in our secret room
Hidden from our mind
So we fill the rest of our empty head
In delusion, we sigh
So let's dance around
Not saying what we see
Only let's count to three
And say what we really mean

What a contradiction
To not know yourself
And figure someone else
To know whose beneath
Lying under that flesh
You won't be aware
If it's a saint
Or a sin
You pretend to care
To see where it all began
If there story is fiction,
A sad tall tale painted on
Or if it's mural
In it's eclipsed
But you'll never know
Because it's all in the hips
Lying between those thighs
A world of wonders
To far away from your tips
So you figure

But you won't begin comprehend
A mask over a mask
Lying to your face
Those pupils will never tell
Neither will those curves
Stop, don't ruin the secrets
Beauty never yells

Lost in the depths of your eyes
I search for your soul
Wanting to be within your mind
And understand the ways you flow
You have me memorized
And I long to have more
I crave to be among your lips
And see the way you taste
I need your touch onto my canvas
Making your impression
Because when you look at me
You have me disoriented in hope

I see the light in your eyes
And I beg to shine beside you,
I've been waiting too long
And you're within my reach,
Take me outside my body I plead
And show me what you see
A place filled with bliss
A place with no fear,
No darkness
Only fluorescence filled
With every part of you

Demon of worrying
Swallows me whole
And as I scream
This anguish paralyzes
Frozen, I beg to be free
But the ultimate hunter
Is wanting to dance
So I play the same game,
Tangled in its veins
I rip them out from inside
I scratch open the flesh
And drain the blood
Breaking bones
And shattering the skin
Nothing left except the dead
But instead I stop
Because at the end of the battle
I will be nothing  
For the demons
Are inside all of us
And as I claw out
I realize it's my own open wounds
I am searching for
And that I long to create
This dark chaos
That swallows me

The peaceful sea
Will always be intrigued
By the chaotic and misunderstood currents
That dream of being free  
But stuck inside a constant drift
Of always trying to flee
Being tied down
By the ever curious and loving
Who just wishes to be with thee
To kiss through storms
And then put asleep

But the currents haven't seen
How they are carried
And without the sea
They could never be
Both together
But both so lonely
As they both lust
For things they cannot see
They are without
This understanding of their eternity
So they curiously live filled with desire
Of the illusions of a life
Far better
If they had not each other

You made me believe in days that never dragged
How I'd be with the person from my dreams
Whispering just breathe
While counting to three, letting us be
But mornings always rise
And my perceptions were never a winning prize
Time always made me tell it wasn't you and me,
Because life had me by throat
And you were gone before I could yell, just yet
Now I wait til the morning with no sunset so I can have met the man behind my belief in the love that has me asleep

There was a dream I once could reach
And the days never seemed to preach
Now I just lay awake
Picturing the beauty you use to make

with me

Oh what a lonely night
I have succumbed to
Was it my choice?
By what I said
Or was it because of
the blanks in between those words
And those nights
Never the right phrase
Never the right praise
What do you want from a dying girl
Who exist in her head
Do you wish she come out,
Dedicate her soul to you?
Or is her blinding truth
Of how you don’t matter
Shattering your ego
And making you crumble
Dont you realize?
Her self doubt
and how she too, struggles with not meaning
I merely a speck in the eye of this city
Where I dream of being a statue
With my lines written across the chest
Is being mute
What will it take
To finally make a friend
In this garbage of surroundings
Should I put on a fake
Will you read it then?
Or will I still be **** in the end
I'll share the death bed
And we will fall asleep in our shattering dreams
Of living on in someones heart
For longer than a beat
But to you that is a no,
Because I am not good enough
To waste your days away
And in the honesty of my heart
I see the way you sway
And you too, are different than my wants
Its not meant to be
I keep telling myself anyway

Shame,
Its all I ever really knew
with my hands covered in sweat
trying to fill the void at 3 am
my palms wet

Give me more synthetic euphoria
injected by another nameless
Only I lie
it never was the *** that kept me high
it was escaping reality
that kept me sane

Until I lost sight
of my feet planted
I rose into the sky
came out of my frame
and broke apart

Seeing all the evil
being swept up
as I left
No more agony
as I died
This imminent death

Shame
was all I ever really knew
in my days alive
So death
Stopped the tidal waves
It halt the suffering
in wandering eyes
in surrounding voices

Once I was gone
the sickness became buried
with my hue covered grave
I wasn’t meant
for one beating heart
To keep me here  

It never would of stopped
this pain,
this shame was drowning me
from the start of dawn
to the death of light

When I was younger I used to pray
That my family would move out of the heats way
And my heart would be saved
From all the Sunrays

I wanted to leave before the summers got to me
And dried all the water left inside to see
And destroy everything I once believed
Because the desert was once a sea
Now left to be
Just the Suns relief
But I will never be the flower that grows by the trees
I only know the desert rat
That dwells inside of me

Drowning in your waters,
Your waves crash inside me
My rhythm deranged
Having me disoriented in desires,
So I long to taste your salt
Begging for more
You pull me under your surface
Holding your grasp
Starving me out internally
Filling my lungs only with you
Until I am completely blue
Making this beautiful disturbance
As you mutilate what's left of me
But on the inside we know
The delicacy that this chaos takes
And the control I gave up
As soon as I saw shimmer
Above your waters,
I dove completely in
Head first, I felt you all around
Filling my skin,
Casting a spell over me
I was utterly yours
As I was washed away

Give yourself to me so
We can get lost in the moment of we
And define what it really means
To be delusional in this so called chase of devotion
Because really
Aren't we are just agreeing
To stop each other from the oblivion
That hides in the back of our mind left alone
Aren't we are just agreeing to wake up the other in sleep
Isn’t that really what we seek?
How naive we can be
To think we can escape the inevitable through our infatuation
We are already doomed,
Don’t you see?
This will never become a happy story
Because it is us
And as we seek to feed our veins
Of self destruction
Through the heart of each other
We already started the domino of our death
Suicide was always too selfish,
But ****** was a gift we conceived
As we tear the insides out
Of emotional rampage
From the depths of our fear,
The suppressed repercussions have been silence
To let the dark desires we’ve grown to ignore
Play with with each other,
Everything taught to not want
We combine in the joint efforts
And lose our grips on our composure

I will let you hurt me,
Yet I still will let you into me
To find the tangled knots
Of everything wrong
And my discomfort in this skin and in this life,
Because the real metaphor here is when you say goodbye,
You will give me a reason behind this emptiness
That has swallowed me whole,
I wont feel guilty about never being satisfied
Since my need to escape
Will finally have a reason
Because when your presence has left
The tug of my body will pull me towards always looking for you
A search never ending
And a pain never subsiding
You now have opened my insides and let them into your mind
They are longer just mine
Intwined we are,
You could ****** me in the chest
And I will thank you for the stab wounds
Because beautiful art never comes untouched and
My heart was always the blank canvas waiting for your brush

Is it a projection of my imagination
In which I create this entire nation
You, a figure easily changeable
Morphing into the molds that follow my head
Maps that lead nowhere besides the edge

Are you here to save me from caving in
Or convince me there is no end
See, constant battles of unexplained forces thrown upon me
Being played by the universe
Begging to be a creator
Instead, deducted to a strain
I am here forgotten
By the gods who yell in the sky
I am a whisper,
Reaching out I plead
Stop this madness of doubting
I am surrounded by fiction yet again
Being reduced to non less than friction
As constraint movements to remind me of life
Only flashbacks poison my sanity
Were they illusions?
Or the reality hiding about in our ignorance
Taught by whom, taught by truth or fear
For I am scared,
Seeking to know
I continue this path solely alone
Longing to mean
But what I havent seen
Is while truth subsides
I was already lifted my from the lies

Foolish me
For replying to your demands
Wanting to be understood
By the man who couldn't comprehend
Our minds were not good

Foolish you
For thinking you could escape
My grip was always so tight
My love will not run away
Tonight, I will hold you til the end
Tonight, I fight

Foolish truth
Is how I will never leave
The thoughts you bring
You not to subside
To be in my life,
Even if it not inside  

Foolish lie
Was thinking it never was you
Blocking out
What you hold so dear
The captivating essence
I just want to be near

What a bunch of fools
We created out of everything
This unknown heartbeat
With no ignite
Let's try not to retreat

Let's give it a shot,
This foolish love

Just because,
I sometimes feel the air you once whispered To remind myself
How rare,
To have met the eyes that sang louder than the voice
Covering the internal crimes and shading your external cries
Making me wonder why
but also understanding
The man who could not comprehend  
that theres a life beyond our twisted minds
And some futures that don’t have dead ends,
No matter how hard you tried
You couldn't see the sky,
Though I've forgiven and made amends
Its for you, I live
Always feeling the wind and searching for your skin
It's for you, I speak the words we always meant to give
And for that, I no longer hold it in

A light cannot express
My crooked brain
You see
Just because I am lost in the frequency
Doesn't mean I am not here
I am not insane
Just neurologically  damaged ....
Maybe that's a myth
Or a hope
Because people taken the time
To tell me why
In the reasons behind what I am
Here for so
Doing fear
Or doing sad,
I am confused
If it's an act
Or if it's science
You all seem to have your opinions
So please tell me,
Why it is
I am deficit
Repeating reappearing
Patterns
And words
Bite my lip
Only I rock back and forth
To the bended mind  
I possess
Because
I don't understand
Why can't I take that drug
Why can't I participate in the youth
I am seeing
In the beauty being experienced

Oh yeah because I am
Already that high on
Nothing
But remember
You intoxicated mind
You're already drunk
Off those 12 beers
And 5 shots
Since we are taught
Alcohol is okay
While drugs are distorted
And will end
In your demise  
And crazy people
Are just that
With no regard
For the human life
Raging a war
In their heart
You all seem to forget so well
Maybe my convulsions
Will accurately suppress
The superposition behind
These ticks
And the light, oh the light
Will finally end
In my rumors

I’d like to say I didn’t start chain smoking at 23
That I did good deeds Instead of littering when my trash leaks
How I didn’t sleep in well past three and I was always clean
I’d like to say I had reasons to get out of bed , I just ignored the existential dread

But the grapes within me don’t grow well and
As much as I’d like to say I quit smoking yesterday
I feel shrunken with what I’ve done  
So I poured my heart into a glass but instead of pairing it with a steak I decided I was too bitter to compliment the taste
I tried to make Butter for The plate but I know everyone is scared of fat since they’re always telling us that

I want my body to be the temple that sees the sun,
I want to sing with crowds and live among the nuns while needing none

Instead I just leave my bed with a dent unable to pay rent  
I’m a crisis at mid life  
23 with no right
I’m a bottle gone wrong, left to pair with just stares
But maybe, maybe soon they’ll look away
And I can pave my own day

Your eyes always spoke the words
Right from my fingertips
Taking them out of my hand
And into your control
I was always willing
At any command
So you did
What any of us would do
And beheaded me
Cut me in two
See,
I was too plain
So you remade
What you could
Pushing me into a new mold
Draining my light,
How was I to see
You feed yourself
Taking parts of me
As I was starving
Running in circles
To satisfy your ideas
And be the art you dreamed
Except
I became the ticking bomb
You lit the fuse to
So reduced I am
To the dried out ash
Of your remains
Still begging for your flames
So
I would whimper the months
Leading to the day
Where you didn't hold the beat
Definite in my heart,
But I tell myself
It never would of worked
You wanted more
Than I could ever be
And
You left me
As i sewed my thoughts back together
I could never find one
You didn’t set
I only know the parts of me
That have you folded in
I only know a future
That has your frame
Someday
I will smash it into
The million pieces you left
Right behind you

Alone I never felt with you in my life
Though you left for so long
Your imprint was cut with a knife
And I questioned what that meant
That I thought of you when ever it turned dawn
Whenever I ached

Now you are back and my mind is a mess
Because with your presence means I am in your eye
No matter the context
I am content
Even when your intentions are never clear
And I can never catch the hint
Of what you meant
When you said I miss you being here
I hope this isn't a game
Maybe I'm getting ahead
With the fresh picture of your frame
Keeping my heart from being dead
Maybe that's how I survived for so long
A wait that's finally ending,
You emerge
Shedding what was covered
Though I am always the one left bare
And you unaware
Of the masked unsettling pit
Diverged from only a thank you and
A miss you

The heat isn’t the same since the sun set away from today prematurely, and while some say ******, others explain the death of a star is inevitable
My body won’t be the same temperature but at least the sky gets to keep all the suns dust to experience the wonderful that once burned in the flesh

I wish you could see what you’ve left
You’re soul so light
I’m forever lit because you lived as bright as you wanted to without worrying about the inevitable explosion that every strong fiery star experiences so thank you
You made my world right even if the sky’s not as bright
But I believe tomorrow will be alright because the sun once lived, now I’m forever warm even when it’s dark