The first time you kissed me
I knew I loved you
but I could not have you

The first time you touched me
I knew I needed you
but it wasn’t our time

The first time we made love
I knew I could not let go
but in the end I had to

The first time I told you
“I love you”
I let it slip out, so effortlessly
but you, still, were just out of my reach

The first time you
called me your girlfriend
made me realize anything before “us”
was utterly meaningless

There is no greater love in this world than the love of two people who can lay together in their most vulnerable state and only see the good parts in each other
There is no greater reminder of this love than the kisses you shower over my body, leaving small traces of yourself left to intertwine with me after you’ve taken me home

Love is the way
you patiently pull me
into your arms to
let me know I am safe here

How many emotions
need I pump into my body
before it feels real?

The scars on my hips have
withered away but still bear
the weight I have gained
and even if they are
"happy pounds"
I am not feeling the joy
of ******* the burden in
because I am too proud to
admit I have gone up two sizes
and no matter how hard I try
to take the weight off
my shoulders (stomach)
I only have the self control to
play games inside my own head
as if starving myself one day
will lead to skinniness the next,
as if I haven't led myself
down this path of destruction once before.

It is as if I am stuck, spiraling downward,
in a whirl-wind of emotions that will
leave me dizzy, feeling nothing at all
It is as if you placed masking tape
over my mouth and even though
I don't want to scream, the words
I will never say are boiling inside me
waiting to burst out, at any moments notice
It is as if I looked into Medusa's eyes
and I am frozen in fear of the thoughts
I know I am about to think that will leave
me with nothing but tears
and when you ask me
"What could possibly be wrong?"
It is as if you are crushing me inside
a compactor, leaving me to
shrivel, shrink, wither way until
I, too, am absolute nothingness