some birds found their family out of their own nest
some birds stick together, other birds flew alone

those words she screamed at me
they all felt like being struck by the lightning
my wings broke every time and i had to fix it myself
but next time i remind me to make myself a better wings
so i could find my family out of my own nest

bussing your lips,
was like a jolt of electricity
waking up the red blood
under my skin

meeting your lips,
was like walking in a garden
full of red roses
that signify love and passion

before we kiss,
i traced your full lips
with my fingertips,
admiring how comely
and carnation it looked

i admired the feeling of your breath
how your heart beats fleet for me
and when you returned my kiss
it reminded me how alive you were

i imagined,
you were in a suit
your hair was neatly combed
your beauteous lips curving
widely as you watched me
walking through that door

with flowers in my hands
father by my side
and my red lips
lusting for your kiss

i felt happy
you felt happier
you said it has always
been your dream
to kiss me
in that black suit
and im in my white dress

so here i am in my white dress
and you're in your black suit
kissing you for the last time
as you lay down in that coffin
not returning my kiss
anymore

and i am hoping that i cross your mind
often enough for you to pick your phone up
and text me, *'hi, what's up?'

please don't leave me
with emptiness
please say something
its the least you could do
no, don't make me cry
you are not capable of this
i love you so dearly
tell me that you do too

there was a girl
who loved me so
named me bestie
gifted me with seashells
and sometimes,
baked brownie
to unfrown me

there was a girl
who taught me braids
loved poking my cheeks
and took photos of me
secretly

there was a girl
who got her heart
into pieces by bestie
and all she did is
to give her love
but only to get
none in return

she was a bird flying above
the sky all alone for no one
loved her anymore

she flew so far away
that i never saw her
ever again

she was gone;
no more brownie
no more grins
and the seashells
turned navy
oddly

twenty-nine-june,
i sat in the coffee shop
with my warm white coffee
and a copy of
stephen chbosky

she flew back home and
she descried me there
came up to me with
a beauteous grin
i last seen in
december '11

we talked
we laughed
we cried
we story-telled

(i remember, she once said,
back when i still
have the name bestie,
that she loved when
we used the term story-tell
for it made the sun and moon
collide together)

i was told that
this lovely girl's wrist
was named demon
and she **** it every time
he tries to drown her
in a sea of darkness

this time,
i got my heart into pieces
told her the same
and pinky promise was made

(like they always said,
promises are meant to be
b/r/o/k/e/n
and it did)

there is a girl
who i love so
named her bestie
and i will hold her
when she is

f
a
l
l
i
n
g

apart

drown in the ocean
everything seem to be
in an alacritous motion

he hollers for help
the holler echoed through the big ocean
and he wonders why still
nobody could hear his yelp

nobody came to aid
nobody came to save

he swims and swims
as he weeps and weeps

for nobody solicitude
for nobody understood

every time he moves
the waves nestled him
convincing him to let go

to throw away the hopes
of being alive and loved

gradually he let go
and let the waves pull him down
asphyxiating him with their abilities

you taste like the first inhalant of a cigaratte
and i have always hated the last bit of it

why i still have people who claim they love me stand by me is because they still have not seen the other side of me i never planned on showing, ever

1) you
2) everything else

and i can assure you that it is going to be so cliche you're going to hate it

when our hands touched,
i could feel a tiny part of my soul dancing for the first time
that's impossible but i swear to god i felt it
when jokes were told, i didn't want to laugh
i didn't want to missed it; looking at you laugh
because for god's sake, you are one beautiful creature

to feel your presence around me while we walked together made me feel less lonely
and i liked your smell that kept lingering on my nose

and i am trying to find ways
to ****** these emotions
for god,
you have no clue what
it is capable of
when it makes me feel attracted to a person

no, no no no stop
stop it right there
take back what you just said
swallow it back down your throat
**** it into your stomach
don't let it get into my head
don't make me believe that
you miss me as much as i miss you
you like me as much as i like you
don't say it, just for the sake of
saying it back..

the second thing
i can think of that is so useless
in this world
is educating kids
about how the world is spherical
but not why

i fell off a tower and it hurts and it made me bleed
he helped me up and apologized for letting me fall
and even for that, i fell again
this time from the highest cliff

from time to time
i tell myself things happen for a reason
i may not know it now
i will know it eventually
but my body never learnt to absorb that theory
because my body has allow
the disaster i have created
eat me up alive
and i reach out for a hand
to lead me out of here
but no one can hear me

you told me things
that made my heart dancing nimbly
and you stopped without a warning
that she became faulty