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 Dec 2015 Cordelia Rilo
fifi S
My sleep has left me
As I lay beneath the moon
The lone wolf watches


js/2015
A sleepless night made me get up and write this,  now I can go back to sleep!
 Dec 2015 Cordelia Rilo
Wanderer
He ripped it open
He pulled it tight
Softness eluding
Absorbing light
He escaped in mourning
He swiftly returned
Partially healed
Mortally burned
for a while she missed you. she would walk
through the corridors
with her head bowed over her endless scrolls
of meaningless words
and at lunchtimes she would disappear, but you
wouldn't even notice
when she returned with tear tracks glowing
on her swollen cheeks.
and sometimes you would catch her eye but never
notice how red they were
or how she would let her hair fall over her face when
she looked away.

And then, slowly,
she stopped greeting you with a smile
in the mornings.
she stopped glancing up from her books
to catch your eye.
and when you had your arm slung
around someone else
she didn't frown like before but
smiled and carried on
and you notice how  she used to
be black and white
but now whenever she laughs with
her head thrown back, she
shines with colour.
and when she leans her head on someone
else's shoulder
and gives them a smile in the mornings that
used to be for you
you regret only seeing her as a dull star
that you hardly noticed
when she saw you as the brightest galaxy
that lit up her universe
but now to her you're just another piece of plain sky
in the jigsaw puzzel
of her life, and he is now the one who makes her world
brighter than the biggest star
and you regret letting someone go so easily,  
when they saw you in
such a light that no one would ever see you
in again
***
wherever you are
I hope
you're warm
I hope there's food
good food
poppy seed strudel
and hot tea

wherever you are
I hope
there's laughter
in the morning
under covers
when your foot's
peeking out

wherever you are
I hope you
have that coat
with deep pockets
and some holes
not too big
I hope you wear it
when it's chilly out

wherever you are
I hope
you are free
your crow hair
forever dark
tricksters on you trail
never catching up
all she did was
reach for a glass
and
my eyes became like pens
drawing my love
with every stretch of
her legs
building up until i
felt like the snap between
the stem and the apple
twisted a little and
so completely consumed
lately
I've stayed inside;
being reminded that
even the grass is
loud sometimes
& I'm
desperate for silence

something to stop my
grinding teeth when
I can't scream the answer

while
everyone's dying to feel
better &
I just want to feel less
but
Gravity gets the best of us &
I'm doing everything I can
to
deny the pressure
 Nov 2015 Cordelia Rilo
stargazer
We sat in bathtubs in rundown motel rooms
I told him stories of my mother
He told me he'd never been in love
I noticed his uneven breathing
The way his chest fell a little faster
The way his eyes didn't have much glimmer
The faucet was dry
The bathtub was empty
We floated anyway
On broken promises
Taunted memories
Unspoken names
I saw every drop of blood
I saw every tear
I let him rest his weariness on my lap
I poured my attention into his flaws
Crooked teeth
Lopsided chest
The way his forehead wrinkled
Those were the things I remembered the most
When he left
I never loved him
He never loved me
But it was close
And it was tantalizing
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