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Z Sep 2018
Today i begin to write again
Words that i can't say
Actions that i can't express
Begin again.
Z May 2018
Let's be real.
There's probably a million reasons as to why she doesn't like you.
Which is probably something you don't wanna hear but let me tell you the some reasons, stupid reasons, as to why she doesn't like you...

It's because she doesn't like the way you cut your pinky toenail.
The 4,126 hair on your head is just too long for her.
Your breathing pattern is off by a millisecond.
Your left eye doesn't pop as much as the right one does.
She doesn't like it when you ***.
When you don't reply within a minute and twenty seconds of her sending the original text.
You didn't have her favorite cologne sprayed in your shirt when she hugs you.
You turn down her netflix and chill to hang out with your friends.
She doesn't like the way that you chew your food.
She doesn't like your haircut.
You don't wear the type of pants that she like to look at when she's walking behind you.
You didn't give her the night of her life after she went out on a date with you.
You don't do this.
You don't look like this.
You don't do that.
You don't do this.

Why the heck are you still reading this?
You need to stop listening and thinking about this nonsense.

No matter what they do or what they say,
you don't owe them anything.
Remember that.
With all this crazy things that you overthink about when it comes to someone that you like,
I know you're maybe thinking,
I need to reply faster,
I gotta go cut the 4,126 hair which is too long.
You don't need to do anything for someone else.
Just think about it,
you're almost torturing yourself
to make somebody else happy, but are you happy?
I don't think so.
What goes on in your head
isn't always necessarily true or right.
If she doesn't like the things that you do,
If she doesn't like the way that you look,
If she doesn't like the friends that you hang out with,
If she doesn't like the person that you are,
then you get over her, right now, get over her.

There's no specific person that you should go out and that you should fall in love with.
That specific person is what you find
in your heart and in your mind,
and as crazy as that sounds,
you have to treat yourself with respect.
You have to treat yourself with the love
that you're gonna be giving out to every girl that you see.
You have to love yourself before you love somebody else.

You should stop thinking
that you have to live up to somebody's standards, just in order to make them happy.
If she doesn't like you, then let it be.
You don't need her.
You don't need anybody.
You have you.

Never change who you are
while falling inlove with somebody,
because in the long run, you just won't be happy.
You are good enough.
You shouldn't let being "perfect",
be the enemy of being good enough.
You're never going to be the perfect person for somebody else, because you are already the perfect you for you.
Some people are going to love you.
Some people are just going to like you,
and some people are just not going to be able to handle you.
You just need to know that the only special person you need to be good enough for is yourself.
Z May 2018
You remind me of my favorite song.
You remind me of my favorite movie,
my favorite place.
Staring into the perfect view of the beach, along with the perfect view of you
You remind me of comfort,
when you watch videos of dogs and
other simple, silly things.
A fun and crazy person
I always wanted to be.
When i see you dancing your favorite song
Like no one is watching.
You remind me of happiness,
when i see your smiles.
You remind me of how annoying you are,
when you flood my inbox with random messages.
You remind me of my favorite shirt,
when you wear it as if it's your own.
You remind me of the late nights,
when we have long conversations.
Maybe it's the look in your eyes.
Maybe it's your melodious laugh.
Maybe it's everything you do,
that reminds me of how beautiful life can be.
You remind me of everything i love
and everything i love, is you.

But the one i love, doesn't exist,
and i don't know if it ever will.
You're a figment of my imagination.
I created you in my mind
as perfect as you can possibly be,
and i fell inlove with the thought of you.
You dont exist and you may never will.

You now reminds me of the nights
I struggle against sleep
You now reminds me of everything
I can't and will never have
You remind me of the pain that love brings.
You remind me of everything i love,
and everything i love will never be me
if i don't have you.
  May 2018 Z
witchy woman
I miss the old you.
I wish I could still
Be allowed to hold you
Close in my arms on
Sunday mornings
And feel you kiss my
Neck late Friday nights.

I wish I could still
Hold your arm going
Into a restaurant at night
I wish I could still
Tell people that I was yours
And you are mine.

But that’s not what life has
In store for us right now.
For when I left you is when
You truly showed your power.
When you truly started
Taking care of yourself
And loving yourself unconditionally
And to me that’s worth
More than anything
I’d feel so selfishly.

I’m not trying to say it
Was all sunshine
And rainbows
It wasn’t.
But just your body
And heart
Wrapped around mine in the dark
Is a feeling I’m accostomed

Goodbye baby
Are you feeling crazy
Like me
Goodbye baby
I’ve been losing
My mind
Lately.

The worst goodbyes
Are the ones
That you know
You could’ve stopped
Hungover maybe still drunk ranting stuff
I hate this feeling. I just wanna numb myself so bad.
Z May 2018
Sadness
Happiness
Fear
Love
Doubt
I feel all those crazy emotions for you.
Z May 2018
It is just the 2nd day
But it already feels like a year

For 3 years,
You've been a constant in my life
We may not talk as often as
we do on the first year
But the thought of you always around
Enables me to endure each day

Today is day 02
of me being single again
It's the decision i made
so we can both move on with our lives
It was not an easy decision
I contemplated about it
and know that I got my heart broken
in the process of fulfilling that decision

Everything is just too painful right now
I keep checking your blogs
So that I can have an update about you
I badly want to message you
But that'll be too selfish
Knowing that you would want
some space for now

I can't eat
I can't sleep
I don't even want to do anything
Because I'm too afraid that
if I entertained myself with something else
I will lose my grip on the memory of you
I miss you
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