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Z May 2018
I have a few questions for you...

Did you know that we weren't strong enough?

Growing up, girls always pictured themselves having a perfect boyfriend.
Someone they can be so proud of and be comfortable with, no matter what the circumstances are.
Did you picture this as well?

Do you believe that we are supposed to be with one person for the rest of our lives?

Let me answer the last question...

Nothing is permanent.

We tried so hard with the illusion of permanence.
We forgot we need to fall inlove with each other everyday.
We end up taking advantage of the comfortable feeling we have.

Those days where we talked to each other almost the whole day
The never ending fun, though somehow nonsense conversation we have
All those stories we have shared to each other
The planned getaways, the corny jokes,
the dramas, the fights, the obstacles
that we have to endure to be together
And all the laughters we have
Remember those?
Because I can't forget those.

If this is really the end,
Here's my advice for you
Live for yourself.
Believe in yourself
You're a very strong woman
I wouldn't regret that you became my girl
I hope you find someone
who can make you as happy as i made you
when we were deep inlove
And maybe or just maybe
We can reconnect in the future
and i can make you just as happy as
the first day you've known me

So, dear my future ex girlfriend
The odds of us breaking up is 50:50 and,
i hope that you will never have to read this.
But if you do, I want you to know that I'll always love you.
I wrote this 3 years ago.
  May 2018 Z
meliza
today, i say hello to you
only to say goodbye;
i'll find comfort in your presence
today for the last time.

you used to be my safe haven
my peace, my tranquility
but things are simply meant to end
and it's our time now, maybe.

with the peace we had hand in hand
came the anxiety in my heart
because even back then somehow i knew
that we would fall apart.

and maybe it's time to find comfort
in something that isn't you
because although you were the best for me,
i'll never be good for you.

so today, my love, i say goodbye,
the most bittersweet of words,
as for my mind now walks away,
my heart remains yours, undeterred.
me and writing
Z May 2018
There is something i would like to tell you

I figured out some time ago







This could break something really precious
And might cause so much pain

Things have changed to what they are before
I am not who i used to be
I still love you and care so much for you
But those are not enough

I am lost and couldn't find my way back
I'm struggling everyday
I even question my mere existence
In this wild and crazy world

You are right, i am such a coward
I back out the moment things get hard
I am weak and will not stand to fight
Even for something which my heart desires

So now, I'm saying goodbye
Through this poem I'm sure you will read
I know you deserve better
Than just a poem that is full of nonsense

Thank you for all that you've done for me
Thank you for standing up for me
When others kept mocking and doubting me
Thank you for everything

And just like this poem
The thing between us needs to end
Not because i lost my love for you
I love you and i always will
But it's now time to face the truth
Things are not like what they used to be
So baby, let's end it.
Z May 2018
she had a heart
that could light up the sky
she had a smile
that would brighten the gloom
on a winters morning
she had the laugh
that could remove all your worries
she had the will
To stand up for what is right

but she hid her beauty
beneath scarves and long sleeved shirts
covered for everyone not to see
that behind those mask and clothes
is an angel, too fragile for this world

her beauty remained hidden
until i told her what she had
that i appreciated her no matter what
even with flaws that she really never had

on that day she pondered and learned
that not everything is judged by the outside
Z May 2018
It was a typical Monday afternoon
Nothing extraordinary
Just a boring day
With me opting to stay in my room

I can clearly remember
The smell of pancakes
And delicious hot chocolate
That brings me to my senses

The rainbow after the rain
The serenity after a bad day
That makes me want to wake up
For i am sure tomorrow will be better

On that day, i met you
And you become the pancake and hot chocolate
Who keep me sane
No matter how confusing everything around me is

You become the rainbow after the rain
The serenity i would want to come home to
No matter how bad my day went
For you are the hope that i look forward to

That day, my typical Monday afternoon
Turns upside down
And suddenly became one memorable day
Of my entire existence
Z Mar 2018
I visited your blog today
Hoping to get an update about you
The first thing that caught my attention
"Help"
I felt sad after i read it
For i am screaming for the same thing
I was supposed to be there for you
To make you happy
But i know i failed after i read
"I tried killing my sadness by killing myself"
I so much wanted to be saved
And forgot that you needed saving as well
I texted you but never got any reply
I worry about you
Please be strong
Please be safe
Help yourself
And I'll do the same
Sorry
Z Mar 2018
I am lost
Help me
Please
Save me
Before i die
Seek for me
I need you to
Help me
I am lost
Top to bottom
Bottom to top
Same meaning
Help
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