only, is to be
banished
upon the next utterance
of  mine if I speak it.

if can be used only in comparisons
no ifs around here
unless if is for sure.

Maybe won't be said from this day on.
Someday I declare
is Now and where

only if maybe I
have a spare verb ready,
I should be used sparingly ,
we and us  are the

the proper pronouns

conjunctions are disallowed
their functions
suspicious as hell,

adverbs are devil tongued,
therefore or therefor I forget
their usage is banned

and  and is so lazy
and lame and criminal
from now on

i guess these rules
get you alarmed ****
but should have only one t

Embrace me, my sweet embraceable Dell
Embrace me, you irreplaceable Dell

Just one look at you, my Windows open up wide
You and you alone are always right by my side

I love all the Rom and Ram about you
Above all, I give a Dam about you

Don't be a naughty baby,
Do the magic that you do so well

My sweet unbreakable Dell

it's all in the gnomes on your lawn
that draws me baby
not your curves
not those curls on your naked shoulder
or your poems
not the way you slide up to me
like some kind of fine woman
just those gnomes
I like your gnomes
baby

I live on the Hurdsfield Estate
To the north-east of town
Set on the edge of the countryside
And at the foot of the hills
It's idyllic in many ways
But with a character of it's own

For a start there's the H.A.T.
Which stands for
The Hurdsfield Assault Team
Which has existed for generations
With sons following fathers
They see themselves as protectors
Of the place where they live

There was one memorable instant
When two policemen entered the flats
To arrest someone several floors up
The H.A.T. boys gathered around
The unattended cop car
Whilst someone blocked the lift
They bounced and bounced that car
Until they turned it on it's roof

Now, I don't know if this is true
But it's said that Santa won't come here
Apparently, the last time he did
Before he got back up the first chimney
His sleigh was on bricks
And half the estate were eating venison
But as I said
That's just what I heard

                                   By Phil Roberts