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 Oct 2015
Kyle Fisher
A splash of cool water runs down my face.
The droplets collide with dust
that is settled onto the backside of my callused hands.
I tighten my grasp on the edges of the pasty, beige colored sink,
and slowly tilt me head up.

My eyes open...

The room that was once well lit, is now darkened.
Revealing only my hazy silhouette in the mirror.
I stare into the glass for a moment.
Subconsciously criticizing the inadequate outline of the reflected shadow.

The door opens...

She steps in.
Her bare feet slightly sticking to the linoleum floor,
creating a small popping sound.
A single ray of light follows her,
like she was stepping onto a dark stage in a theatre full of thousands
glaring attentively.

My focus is pulled away from the cloudy pane of glass,
and is forced in her direction.
My entire being flutters with nervousness as she walks by.
Her silky blonde hair flowing as if an ocean breeze is passing over her.
A short lavender night gown is draped over her soft, pale skin.
Each passing second is highlighted by her perfect form,
as she glides by seemingly unaware of my presence.

Exiting without a second glance behind her,
she slowly shuts the rusty hinged, wooden door,
and the light diminishes.
I stand silently waiting; hoping the door will open again,
and the goddess enveloped in white will return.

Not a sound...

I turn again to the mirror.
One last chance to see myself clearly,
and hold on to that abruptly fleeting moment,
but,
when I adjusted my worried and desperate eyes,
I could no longer see my dark wavy silhouette.
It was void.
An empty mirror looked through my solid outer shell,
and saw nothing.
I looked down at my hands,
attempting to unravel the puzzling circumstance.

I too, saw nothing...

The floor beneath my feet started to tremble,
raising an ear piercing screech.
The gold lined window casing stretched and morphed,
leaving the glass without holding edges.
The pane drops,
crashing into the sink below.
Broken glass raises into the air, pieces of the woman in the lavender dress appear in the separate shards,
and the entire room disintegrates.

I am left...

Surrounded by a blank, cold atmosphere of white.
Alone, and with nothing,
I walk.
Forever...
© Kyle Fisher
 May 2015
Aeya Jean Johnson
Will nothing change?
I'm still thinking of you,
Do I love you?
I can't decide.

Even though you hurt me,
Destroyed me,
Befriended me.

Loved me?
 May 2015
Aeya Jean Johnson
...
Where have you gone?
No light in your eyes and no voice in your words.
Everything is gone,
This isn't the one I thought I knew...
 Apr 2015
Aeya Jean Johnson
I'm missing you,
A warm presence,
The only time I dare to be myself.
And yet,
Better than I am
When I'm around you.

Did I walk away
Or was it you?
 Apr 2015
Aeya Jean Johnson
Avoid answering
By asking unrelated questions.

It works every time,
Even when it wasn't wanted.
 Apr 2015
Aeya Jean Johnson
I
Gave
Up the fight.
Now
will you?


Would you call it cowardice
To kick someone who
is down and
surrendered?
 Apr 2015
Aeya Jean Johnson
Red
Its hard to give up
On a love
That was never yours.
 Apr 2015
Aeya Jean Johnson
I felt the impact of
Jumping into the unknown cavern of
Trust,
Not knowing how hard
And broken it would be.
 Apr 2015
Aeya Jean Johnson
It still hurts when I think of your name.
Short and sweet, I'm thinking of you again.
 Apr 2015
Aeya Jean Johnson
You don't know.

You can't understand my pain,
You simply can't.

Why?
You say I have the perfect life--
From the outside, I guess I do,
No.
You cannot understand how everyday of my life I am
Scolded because
Parents are stressed out with finance,
People,
Me--
Especially me.

You don't know the pain of watching your cute,
Sweet,
Little brother-- autistic--
Struggle through school with "friends" who act like fiends.
You have never heard the heartbreaking sound
When his anxiety grows and he cries out
In his own pain:
"Why? Why do I have autism? Why can't I do it?
I'm so dumb I'm so dumb
I'm
So
Dumb!"

And then Mom and Dad are over there,
Their own tired selves,
Trying unsuccessfully to comfort him.

You don't know the pain of an older sister,
Beautiful,
Talented,
Everything you feel you lack in,
Fall into the wrong crowd,
Now contemplating suicide.
You loved her the whole time,
Even through all her hate and addiction.

And you don't know the pain of family ignoring you,
Like they did me--
Like I didn't get enough at school,
Never being able to tell friends from fakes,
So biting my tongue and putting on a foolish, lying smile for just one more day--
One more day.

But there is no one to lie to--
There is none here left to ask questions,
Even the simple ones like
"How are you?"
Just fed up with stupid people today...
 Apr 2015
Aeya Jean Johnson
I miss you.

Not in the physical kind of way,
You are still here--
I can reach out and touch you now.

But things are different now.
Now all I do is
Drag
Drag
Drag behind you,
You even forgot I was here.

We use to talk,
Walking to our classes,
Sometimes passing them,
Lost,
Not physically,
But in deep conversations,
Where our words were equals,
Even if we weren't.

Now we hardly say "hello,"
Sitting next to you,
Your presence is comforting,
Your silence is not.
Being near you makes me miss you more.

Do you ever miss me too?
My official NaPoWriMo address: http://aeyanapowrimo2015.blogspot.com/
 Apr 2015
Aeya Jean Johnson
How long ago
Did you list your priorities?

The small ones,
Like me.
Forgotten at the bottom of the list.

I do understand.
I am only a reflection,
Without purpose,
******* the attention of those around me,
The ones that worry about
Insignificant things.

And stop lying.

You have let go of me,
You haven't let go of the words
Or past.

But of course you let go,
You could barely hold on to
Your own sanity.

I can only hold myself accountable to the crushing feeling I have now.
Written while listening to "Broken" by Lifehouse.
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