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 May 2019
Ken
i feel so ******* sick


i cant stop thinking about you

i want it to end,,,, i don't know how you feel
im too scared to ask

i hope you dont feel as disgusting as i do

but part of me wants this to be mutual,

this raw desire,
this anxiety,


im so ******* terrified

             of how attatched to you i became so quickly,
the thought of this being unrequited is devastating to me

but the thought of you feeling the same fear i do,

is even scarier.
 May 2019
Ken
there is nothing i wouldn't do to relive last night.

i want nothing more than to just sleep in your arms one more time.
 May 2019
Ken
i can't even begin to describe how i felt in that moment.
when you looked in my eyes before pulling me close and whispering,

'i'm so happy i met you.'

how lucky i felt when you fell asleep with your head on my chest.

how grateful i was when you made that stupid ******* playlist for me.

how content i felt in your arms.

how comfortable i was with you in such a small amount of time.

how devastated i was to say goodbye.

how i feel now, writing this.

how i'll feel tomorrow, undoubtedly thinking about you.

i could never describe the impact you have had on me.

but i want you to know

exactly how much you mean to me.
 May 2019
Ken
my heart is aching, yearning for you.


is it selfish that i hope you're feeling this way too?
 May 2019
Ken
why am i feeling this way again,
its been almost a year.

its not even you anymore.
for the longest time i blamed you,
but now its him.

he makes me feel the exact same way you did,
the fear,
the excitement,
the desire.


maybe it was  my fault all along?

— The End —