The hands of a stranger
Exploring the hem of my skirt
To the heavy beat
Vibrating through my spirit

I'll move my hips
As slowly as is needed
To turn your flesh
To burning stone

Pressed against you
Like a proposition
Zero words spoken
Every promise broken

You may think of me
As a wretched tease
But it's the only advantage
I claim over you

So, touch me and squeeze me
Dance with me til midnight
I don't need a pumpkin
I've got my own car

So I'll leave when I please
To a chorus of pet names
Without even
Telling you my real name

We'll just go with "Babygirl"

Greater men
Have not existed
And yet
You kinda ****

Slender frame,
Auburn hair,
Blue-grey eyes,
I'm hypnotized

Sleeve tattoos,
Cheeky smile,
Effeminate,
I'm desperate

You say my name,
You call me "sweet",
You ***** tease
I'm on my knees

I'm useless
Around boys like you
I'm *****
And wish you were, too

He showed up.

I didn't ask for him

But he liked me first

And in the way that's deliberate

****.



O, the hipster!

The ragged, jaded, passionate beast!

You slay me,

Slay me, slay me,

Love <3



He painted a nail in my bathroom

And told me I was perfect

And ****** me in his head

And tried to fight the instinct

To **** me irl.



****. ****. ****.

You saw the red honey in my eyes

Dripping down my face to my lip

And tore yourself

From stealing a taste...



But, when weary,

Lousy from drink,

Fuzzy from balloons

And your eyes,

Then, you strike!



Stars in my eyes,

You claim your prize,

Don't look now,

I'm melting, falling,

Tossing into a sitting position



****.

You threaten to nibble

I threaten to combust

No filters, no secrets,

Kiss me, dear <3



Fly away

To a land of dreams

And waves

And stars

"Goodbye Forever."

You are
A waste of space
Of time
Of energy

A waste of breath
A waste of Love
A waste of Fear
A waste of *****
A waste of ****
A waste of a good ******

You are a waste of me
Go away.

The Boys in Vegas
Crowd into rooms
Bars on Fremont
DMs on weeknights
Watching, waiting

The Boys in Vegas
With their eyes to the ground
And their smiles to your face
Frightened, small
"I'm the man, I'm the man..."

The Boys in Vegas
Tell you that you're hot
Kiss you, tease you
But never call or text
Huh, guess he's on to the next

Hours of sub-conscious-ness

Between the fight and now

These days, I always wake

Before the sun

Before you

And remember the fight-

"Well, MAYBE
Ifyouweren'tsuchafuckingbitch
Spoiledbratcunt
Ihateyou
Bitc­h
*****
*****
FuckyouIhateyou"

I look over

Knowing

When you wake, you won't remember

It always takes a while

The sun will make you squint

And you will smile

Because, really-

"Good morning, love!
Iloveyou
Youmeantheworldtome
You'resobeautiful
Kissme,love
­Love
Love
Love
IthinkI'llsleepalittlelonger"

The dog whines at the door

As you try to close your eyes

Feed me, walk me, pet me

I will let him whine

It's the only revenge I have

You finally sigh

"I'll get it, love"

You stand out of bed

And I notice

You have morning wood

Sad eyes,
And those pouty, pouty lips
Poor thing,
You have no idea
What you're doing

Confused little boy
Innocent and caged
You have
My condolences
For the loss of your V

Because it wasn't to me-

Me! The succubus
The girl the Bishops
Warned you boys about
The harlot
To drag you down to Hell

"My favorite toy"
That you've never really
Played with
"You want my ****"
Yes! Now, give it up!

All these words
Through the static of space
But I guess
That's just how my moaning
Sounds best

Just another boy
Won't let me **** him
Just another boy
Who's got a thumb
In my heart

But you're more like
Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie
Kissin' girls, then makin' them cry
When other boys come out to play
ALL YOU ******* RUN AWAY

Sorry, where was I?

Austen
Phoenix
**** him,
But
I miss him

He'll never make the trip
To see me
And I guess that's why
It *****
So much

I drive to Phoenix
To Austen
To pouty lips
To confusion
Willingly, enthusiastically

Because
**** IT
I
Love
The kid <3

To have hope is to stay up all night
In the arms of a boy you just met
And have him smile at you
As if he means it

It's to keep checking your phone
Because he said he'd text you
And to believe him
Until you can't

It's to come up with all sorts of excuses
As to why he hasn't spoken
And to play back the night
Over and over again

It's to make yourself keep wondering
If you should let it fade and die
Or hold on a little bit longer
Or shoot yourself, maybe

It's to battle your own common sense
To deny what you already know
To grasp too tightly to a
Flimsy
*******
Fantasy
That maybe he actually did care

To have hope is to be poisoned
To have hope is sickness
To have hope is to feel pain

I collapsed the seats of my Rav4
You watched my *** the whole time
And saw an opportunity
As I bent over between the front seats
One, two, then three fingers
While fumbling to turn off the hazards
Biting a seat to keep quiet
Accidentally turned the music back on
"Stay In My Memory" by Bim
The song from Him
**** him, I'll ******* instead
The hazards were off
The music still on
Your fingers making my body quake
From the inside
Twice
Strong enough to throw me around
Like I was someone cuter and smaller
And put me on my back
With a hand around my throat
Kissing at me like a dog
Making me submit like a *****
Three, four, five
"On your knees"
And you threw me there, too
Six
Around we spun
Getting rug burn
Lost count of the quakes
They started to blend
With the aftershocks
"Are marks okay?"
And then you left one
A hickey on a weeknight
And a Monday, no less
Next time, we need a bed
Rug burn is a *****

I tell him all the stories
About the boys,
The lies,
The awful dates

He tells me
I've been
Given
A **** hand

And then
He adds himself
To the pile
Of stories