Trust is that part of a compass that holds two legs together.

Your flushed down the drain
Your heart is in pain
Is it right to end it
Can I live with hurting the one I always thought she was mine
Losing my mind and becoming insane
Is this the way the go
The heart is wounded so deep that it can't be mended
Blood pooring from my veins and it's getting hard to breath
I am drowning in the deep sea and can't Seem to reach the surface.
Depression has taken over me and there is no fighting it now .

Good manners are nectar that allures bees to cling to them!

Tears stain pen to paper
Blood stains mark old clothes
Nights become quiet
Void of answers
I see emptyness plauge my life
Enough   please
I just want to feel better again
The internet, my twisted and faithful friend
O' how this introverted nature depends on you!
I search for him in all your words
Each heart felt plea
I find him, I find myself, I find you
Instead of being alone
I nestle into your heartache
Reminds me that I, we, are not alone.
Im so grateful not to be alone
Thank you.

It hurts, doesn't it?
My one word responses and unanswered texts?
Now you know exactly how I felt
When you decided you didn't care anymore.
But now you miss me and I couldn't care less.

If you don't love a floating cloud
That makes the sky a great painting
If you don't love the showers
That fall to embellish nature
If you don't love the dense web of trees
That build the roof for your rest
If you don't love the fragrant blossoms
That present world of beauty
If you don't love the white queen
That gleans with sparkling stars
If you don't love the bird
That sings the sweetest note for your delight
If you don't love the mountains
That stand tall and claim God's majesty
If you don't love the beggar
That cups his hands for his belly
If you don't love the orphan
That sighs in solitude all the day and night
If you don't love the wounded pegion
That entangled in your wire over the roof
If you don't love your parents
That groan at your each sob
And love you more than anyone in the world
You can ever love no creature.

I used to daydream
that one day
I would tell our children
the story of us
A tale full of trials
and tribulations
roadblocks, detours, fences, hurdles
heartache and longing
fate and destiny
a coupling that seemed impossible
which would rival
all the fairy tales throughout history
where love still
somehow conquered all
as you looked upon my telling
with that adorable
wrinkled look on your face
of disapproval
but sadly,
I realize
it is a story I'll never get to tell.

Reveal your
burdens
to me
and I will
do my best
to show you
that even
they
have
beauty.

I said to the rose
you look so beautiful!
It replied that was startling:
Keep waiting till the twilight creeps on!
.

Through so many years I ran
Afraid and ever cowering
The darkness always at my back
Voracious, all-devouring

Through my mind its black claws reached
And picked apart my sanity
They scraped all chance of joy away
With endless inhumanity

Through the days and months and years
it chased and clawed relentlessly
Eventually I wondered why
I ran unending breathlessly

Through the dark I turned and looked
Pursuit suspended nervously
I granted it a name and face
It glared with vicious fervency

Through its threat I held my gaze
And ventured forth an inquiry
Its flare of rage could not repress
My newfound curiosity

Through the long nights we conversed
Debating, chatting, bickering
The darkness that devoured my life
Shrank back, diminished, flickering

Through the darkness I now saw
With unexpected clarity
We spoke as friends, no longer foes
Embracing newfound parity

Through the dark I look, and laugh
My friend now laughs along with me
Despite how it had always seemed
The darkness is a part of me

at the edge of oblivion
not knowing if I should
surrender  or continue living
the way I have for a while
which is only half living

it's easier to keep doing what doesn't work
than ask for so I can change and try something new
but my own mind convinces me I got this
even though I am slowly falling apart physically
and dying on the inside

I am on the edge of oblivion
stranded with my worst enemy
me

I am desperate enough that for the first time
in my life I ask for help and actually take the help
without dictating what form that help takes

this all happened over 3 years a go
and today I have a life I never imagined
all it takes is for me to be willing to continue
to ask a power greater than me for help each day
and then be willing to take the help that comes my way
sometimes it means I have to put my willingness into action
or just simply sitting in silence and waiting

I am no longer suspended
but connected into the fabric of life