who wants to go first?

The girl with a voice only
in the privacy of her
teddybears?

The girl who used to be scared of her shadow,
lowering her eyes from every
passerby
not knowing they're looking right through her.

The girl too scared to tell that guy off
when he yelled all the flithy things he would do to her
when she was only 14.

The girl whose extrovert inside her head.

The girl who covers her mirrors with sheets
so they can't see her dance.

The girl who has storybook love,
but lives the life of a tragic hero.

The girl who believes she can succeed at everything,
but tries with only a few.

The girl who wears heavy tshirts and hotpants
as her legs are the only part of her body
she loves.

The girl who doesn't tell her loved ones
she loves them that often
as she feels they don't love her at all.

The girl who wonders about fame and fortune,
then decides on the simple life.

The girl who has yet to turn into a woman,
the girl who didn't think she could amount to anything,
but still puts in 110% even if life only gives her 80.

The girl writing this poem
with no start or ending,
she wants to go first.

When I was 15
I lost the written innocence
of girlhood
and gained the status of a woman.
When I was 16
still a growing girl
with the reporters
spreading rumors of my
newfound womanhood
I was a target.

Still 16, I was manipulated by a devil with an iron fist.
Six months of being a mindless zombie
following his agenda
wondering if an exorcist
would ever save me.

By the time I was 17,
I had no words of my own
was constantly smiling on the outside
while unknowingly dying on the inside.
As I approached death
a reaper saved me
holding my hand
as I was ready to go.

When I was 18,
I fell in love with the reaper
who told me of my faults
and my truths
who allowed me to love myself
even while loving him.

Still 18, I had a voice of my own,
a smile of my own
even words started to flow easily
I no longer mumbled
or held my head down in shame.

By the time I was 19,
the reaper saved me again
from the impending doom
in my head
and I was so selfish to not see
I was making the reaper sick.
sick of me.

As I reached 20,
I hated the reaper
he who saved me from
death too many times
even though he could've
let me pass.

The reaper was tired of me
wishing for death
when I had life
all around me,
he eventually reaped himself
and left me alone
wanting me to feel what he felt
when he had to saved me from every reaping.

Once I was 21,
I wished for him to come back
apologizing for all the pain I caused.
He didn't believe me
testing me with my life in his hand.
I let him have it
as he gave his life for me.