Trust was never a option
But were there any options to begin with?

Bruising the eye of the beholder
She means nothing to me
When the only thing I care about is you
Betrayal is lost in the abyss we call our lives
I never meant to hurt you
Can’t you see I did this for you
Don’t you know, that I did this to make you stronger
I did this to protect you
This wasn’t to hurt you
I swear I never meant to leave you there alone

My hearts been broken
And It’s sometimes hard to believe
But it’s no joke
When I say sometimes I could choke
On the fear that it won’t change
Smiling faces help conceal what I’m faced with
Conflicted
Twisted like a drained towel
But somehow i keep it contained
Convinced I can endure it
Don’t need help
I’m sure of it
Wish my mom warned me about the bad weather
The slight drizzle
Turned into heavy rain
And I’m just getting wetter
But not getting any better
The cause unspoken
But well known
I haven’t been the same since god called you home
Sometimes I think I have ptsd

My image in the mirror reflects who I am,
My soul whispers what I am.
2/9/2020

This wasn’t my intentions
But I couldn’t find the right ways to prevent this
Didn’t know who to vent with
So this what you get
When your mind shift to being mentally alone
Not a feeling a condone
But as the sky cries
Not even the clouds gather
To shield me
So as the dirt melts to mud around me
And my boots begin to sink
The wood of the shovel softens up
Seemly molding to my grip
As I begin to move the earth
Deeper and deeper
Until I’m satisfied
That the knotted off bag will fit
And as I cover it
The rain falls more
I feel heavier then before
Almost as if the weather is telling me not to do this
But this is the only solution I could come up with
Who’s to say the contents within it
Just know
You were buried with love

Did my desires get set ablaze
How bad was the flame
Numb to the point
That I still can’t feel a thing
Third degree burns
Am I still on fire
So use to the warmth
I’m unsure
Tossed in the sea
But evaporated the liquid around me
To intense the heat
Fuel by thoughts
I try to keep it contained
But it rises out of the depths
Keeping anything and everything in check
Can’t find the ways to ***** it out
They just get caught in the blaze

Loneliness
Is
A
Sweet
Thing
To
Be
Loved
When
Covid-19
Is out for the hunt...........

If I told you how i feel
Would you really listen
Blood gushes from a fresh wound
Melting the snow
When struck by the sun it glistens
Thoughts run wild
Fear a wolf that roams free
Cornered
And it has me back to a tree
Mouth tented red
Pieces of me missing
Wedge in between its teeth
Panting hides it’s face behind a veil of steam
Strands of fur sticks to my hands
Proof I withstood the attack
It sits
As I slump to the ground
Eyes fixated on me
I can sense it’s frustrated
Shifting its feet
Unsure what to do
Because if it kills me
It would cease to exist too

Winning
A heart
Is harder than getting a medal;
Actually heart isn't won
It is filled with feelings
That he feels belongs to him

the best thing you could teach two another

is how to love themselves,
so they can return the favor;
now that would be a refund!