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 Jan 27
Dhia Awanis
you were the answer
to a question i should have never asked
a hesitant spark;
crafted from stolen glances
that dared the universe to say no
in that  fleeting moment—time as if folded
two souls stitching their edges together,
briefly infinite,
as tough it wasn’t meant to last

yet we buried deep of what could have been
not in anger, not in betrayal,
but in quiet understanding—
a mutual surrender to the lives
that were never meant to intertwine

we became the weight of an almost
a fire i couldn’t hold without burning,
a dream too vivid to stay asleep,
a heart so full
it could never be contained

it is almost as if
we are the resonance of tunes,
played in a room no one else can hear—but us
like a rhythm that felt familiar
but we never quite knew its notes

so i carry you;
not as a wound,
nor a regret,
but a quiet echo of a hum
not in a way that demands the world to bend,
but in a way that whispers,
“in another life, maybe.
now we are just ghosts lingering in space
 Aug 2024
Dhia Awanis
'though time was brief—your light was vast
your presence lingers; your memory stays
in the warmth of my hand, where i brushed you off my fingers

in the softest light of fading days,
unconditional, unexpected, true,
grief may weigh, but love won’t bend

pay me a visit through my dreams
play with me as i will feed you your favorite treats
tell me about the rainbow bridge

a love unplanned, in fur and bones
you have brought us so much joy

yet in the silence, sometimes i would hear your bell as you walked by
forever in my heart, my dear cat Mona.
December 2023 - August 2024.

thank you Mona for coming into our lives. i will forever miss those curious eyes and that starving look
 Apr 2024
OD
Her eyes were open wounds and as she sat there she was forced to consume,
to consume the images of her bleeding heart slowly yet furiously being ripped apart.

She couldn’t look away nor escape,
for the hands participating in this torture
were unique in their ability
to be the very ones to restore her.

He was both her ruination and her salvation, a fate that she has taken without hesitation.

She is at the point of no return and she’d willingly follow him straight to hell
even if it meant that she’d burn.
 Apr 2024
OD
Clutching to your memory
has turned my heart into a ghost town
Vacant and empty
What a shame for a place
that used to be abundant and plenty

For the land is barren
The fruits of my labor
Withered and gone
For the streams have dried up
And my affection withdrawn

It is not your fault and actually anything but
You’re blameless for everything
Other than the crime of stealing the best pieces of my heart, leaving me with only
the most defective parts

But then comes a day  
A day I stop searching for it all
A day I stop comparing

I then make my bed
Comfortable
Wrapped in the blankets of absence, loss and…

By the miraculous work of God

I then awoke to a bed stripped bare
And he was firmly standing there
The one man daring enough to make a home in such a lifeless place has now bloomed fields of flowers in his wake.
 Mar 2024
OD
If silence was music
She’d be the sound of a melancholic rain
pattering rhythmically on a widow pane
If silence was music
She’d be the sound of the in sync heartbeat
of two lovers embracing each other
tightly under the covers

As her lonely symphony
reverberates through me
I contemplate and reflect
in the pleasure and peacefulness
of my own company
Consumed in the comforting tune
I then come to the conclusion that
there is no feeling which I am truly immune

And what a wonderful revelation that truly is

Thank you silence, for you and I
   have become such great friends…
 Feb 2024
OD
“Are you drunk?”
No, I just feel everything too deeply
Then sometimes not at all
And never discreetly

I am tortured
And
Confused
My own agony is my muse

I view this life through a melancholic lens
     And though the world may love to
Numb & Pretend
I’ll be
******
Before I follow such a trend

So please darling
Do not be one to misinterpret
Nor allow this to be a deterrent
            
I am not drunk
I am simply just
A Poet
 Feb 2024
OD
Find what you love and let it **** you
I’d guess that’s the best way to go
Though we will never know
Love spares none
One would honestly have better chances
Staring into the barrel of a loaded gun
 Jan 2024
OD
I lie awake at night
Recalling the faces of beautiful strangers
Creating scenarios and wondering
how many opportunities I’ve missed
Or
What would happen if fear was cast aside
and our hearts were free to persist

Could we have been lovers?
Or could they have been the thing
from which I never recover?

Was it a missed opportunity?
Or was I saved from
the possible and inevitable cruelties
of unknown yet enticing beauty
 Jan 2024
OD
The pain of this loss is unrelenting
The agony is never ending

My fate forever sealed
How could I ever think I’d heal

When your laugh still echos

And your presence still feels real
 Jan 2024
Dhia Awanis
though tough decisions;
more ofthen than not
i question & constantly challenge myself

is this what you seek in life?
are the hardships you endure reflect growth—
or is it just you forcing against the universe?

notice how your surroundings revolve,
take part in what you believe in;
do you receive the sign you are looking for?
does it speak to you?

all my life i believe
i have always been guided
towards where i am meant to be

so my answer to all of that is yes
have faith; be patience
you will get there
 Jan 2024
Dhia Awanis
in French they don't say "i miss you"
but rather "tu me manques"
or "you are missing from me"

so tell me,
was it your presence that is missing?
was it your warmth against mine?

there is this big void in my heart
waiting to be filled
it longs for your shadow
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