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 Jan 2022
Tom Lewczyk
Long ago I left the shade.
I had to have the sun.
I meant to take you with me,
But I left you behind.
The sunlight made me blind.

For a time it was fantastic:
My every word recorded,
My every thought revealed.
Accustomed to the light,
You faded from my sight.

But the newness has worn off.
The excitement has gone by.
Charred and blackened by the sun,
Having thought I had it made,
I seek shelter in the shade.

At the edge, they keep me out.
They want me in the light.
My eyes can’t find you in the shade.
Loneliness propels me on.
Help me back before the dawn.
Also written long ago
 Jan 2022
Tom Lewczyk
I was once an ant.
Timid. Afraid.
Blindly rushing about with no purpose.

Then it happened.

I was once a stone.
Ignorant of my surroundings.
Achieving nothing.

Now…

Now I soar with the wind,
     and look down on the stars.
Now I stride across oceans,
     and mountains stand aside.

I am in love.
I wrote this some time ago
 Jul 2021
Tom Lewczyk
She rises golden from the water
The current cradles her memory
Her name echoes in the depths
And is whispered in the shallows

She moves with grace through nature
Which is bettered by her presence
And depleted by her passing
The animals bow down
And stand silent once she’s gone

She is Artemis, Athena
She is Helen bathed in starlight
She’s the west wind from the desert
Bringing promise, bringing change
This was inspired by watching my lovely wife at the Russian River a few years ago. I had lots of problems with this poem because none of the verses wanted to be like the others — I still have a long/extra line in the second verse that refuses to go away. Plus there were fish and slow moving animals in an earlier draft of the poem, but they kindly agreed to leave and await some future opportunity to help out.
 Nov 2016
Tom Lewczyk
Some things must be spoken
They cannot be contained
Confined to the page
Or worse
Never released as words

Some ideas should be shared
Far too big for one to lock away
And keep concealed
At risk
Of being buried with their keeper

Some rivers overflow their banks
Unbounded by the past
Too much too fast
Seeking
New paths, new hope, new life
I wrote this poem by dictating into the phone while walking the dog — which suggested the first line — and it progressed from there.
 Aug 2016
Tom Lewczyk
We are wading in a steam:
Some near the center
In the rushing current
Bravely standing, stumbling
Sometimes falling
Carried forward

Leaving those behind
Who are in the shallows
Clinging to branches
That reach out protectively
Impeding progress
Safe, but still

Sometimes the current
Overtakes those who embrace it
And dismiss its mad danger —
Only to fall beneath the surface
And never rise again

In the shallows, some relax their grip
And let the current take them
Slow at first, then faster
Alive, joyful
But angry that they waited for so long to let go

Most never leave the shallows
Still holding tight
Or worse, decide to seek
The cold solace of the riverbank
This time, this time
They find it
Hey! I wrote this on the bus. Apparently it IS possible to be creative even in an imperfect environment — though admittedly I had to tweak some words over the folowing couple of days.
 Jul 2016
Tom Lewczyk
Once I was abandoned in a nursing home
Trapped in a failing body
Surrounded by confusion and fear
Living my days
Memories fading
Those around me dying, one by one
Numbly waiting for the end

Once I was lonely and alone on the playground
Each day — excluded, friendless
Acting busy doing nothing
Praying for the bell to call us back to class
Knowing that the teacher, at least
Pretended we were all equal

Once and again, I was beaten, abused
Covering up, making excuses:
Just a bad day. He’s not really like that.
It will get better. Maybe if I try harder.
Stay together for the children.
Until the day it goes too far

Once I was waiting for the train
Feeling powerless, unloved
Certain no one cared
The present unbearable, the future worse
Finding no point in living
The train approaches and I take that final step

Once I lived poor in an undeveloped country
Ignored by an ineffective and corrupt government
Watching disease take my children
Talk of a better life — just so much empty air
Stretching what little food I could get
Beyond hope
Simply existing

Once I didn’t fit someone else’s definition of normal
My hair, my clothes
My sexuality
Unthreatening, but threatened for being different
Brave, but so exposed, so afraid
If it were a choice, I would choose the easier path
I can’t change who I am

Once I was looking for a job, a way out
But opportunities were unavailable
Because of my race, my gender
Those who mistakenly believe
That minorities ‘get all the breaks’
Will never understand
The impossibly tall mountain
That we view from the bottom

Once I was slowly dying
Fading away
Whispers in the hall
My family full of tears, but already moving on
My friends avoiding me — not knowing what to say
Living my remaining days like a ghost
With one word on my lips —
Unfair!

Once I lived on the streets of a large city
Cold, tired, hungry
Sleeping on cardboard, digging through garbage
Not fully sure how I got here
People pass
To them I’m nothing
But I know how small and easy the step is
From their lives
To mine
 Jun 2016
Tom Lewczyk
If I gave you an hour
Would you spend it
On inconsequential nothings
Thinking it too short to do something worthwhile

If I gave you a day
Would it pass you by so quickly
That tomorrow looking back
You would wonder where it went

If I gave you a year
Would it fade into the stream of your existence
Just another fleeting summer
One more sure step toward death

If I gave you a lifetime
Would you, looking back
Wish for an hour, a day, a year
A lifetime – another chance
To make it worthwhile, to do it right
What got me going writing this was a sidewalk sign in San Francisco inviting me in for lunch ‘if I had an hour’.
 May 2016
Tom Lewczyk
There is a worrisome hole in the fence —
The cold wall that protects me
And keeps others at a safe distance
Providing me with much-needed comfort, protection

I am not fully certain how the hole came to be
Some hidden insecurity; some subtle vulnerability
Some forgotten place, long neglected

Keeping the fence whole is an arduous task

When such unforgivable holes appear
I work quickly to mend them
But they are like purposeful trails in the forest
Well worn by constant use

Even if I succeed, and patch the hole
Another will quickly spring up nearby
Dutifully serving the same purpose

Further, while my back is turned in effort, resolute, focused
Another, and another
Small at first – flaws barely seen
Unnoticed
But relentlessly growing over time

And at that first tragic breech
Once an untried hole allows its first reckless passage
Word spreads
And the brutal pressures from outside
Find their way in
 May 2016
Tom Lewczyk
Love is an endless plummet into a dim but sparkling chasm
Hand in hand
Trusting the other to hold on tight and not let go
The destination less important than the journey

Love is a favorite novel, worn from use
Delightful and comforting
Each passage familiar, but with details missed or unremembered
Savoring each line, but eager to turn the page for what comes next

Love is a mad dash at the carnival
From ride to ride to ride
As many as we can before the lights go out and the fair closes
Out of breath, still smiling, long after the music fades from memory

Love is a timeless summer evening
The sun setting so slowly, it seems to hang in the sky, unmoving
Casting its copper light – embers visible well after the heat dies away
Until the welcoming night reaches its fingers to guide us home

— The End —