The dawn was no longer coming
The earth was no longer spinning
The horizon frozen.
We had moved into the deep chill
of our lives
The deep chill of our love.
Stone cold granite silence
Dancing around each other in
slow motion rotation
eyes like arrows
eyes like mirrors
words silent daggers
breath like icicles
held and panting,
volcanic eruptions seething
beneath the surface,
choreographed
hurt and rage
posing
feigning
covering up,
boiling blood
in
this frozen silence

civil, constrained, polite.

We turned around
walked away again,
alone
again,
with nothing changed
and
nothing said.

We are so much younger
"we know better than that"
is
what we say

I'm in love with another
you are too

I remember you
we had met in school
You remember me
it is serendipity

We say
" we shouldn't head down that path"

When we enter the river
it is calm and flat
We tell each other
with a glance

"we can't".

One foot follows another
and
into that dangerous river
we
take a chance.

We know the river heads
to
a waterfall
and
in the end
we are bound to take us all.

We don't have a choice.

The water is calm
your lips are soft,
floating
gently down that stream
singing
"life is but a dream. "

At any time we should get out.

You won't let me
and
I won't let you.

We've made our choice.

The warm waters
of
our bodies close
puts
us
half asleep
into
a waking dream

we are hearing things.

As
the pace begins to run
I reach for you
the current is picking up speed
lost in the river moment
we were sure we would be
all that we ever need.

The whiteness of the water
is
screaming at me
the currents of our desires
is picking up speed

Red flags are on the shore
Caution Signs
are glowing
in the sun

The rocky cold waters
are
carrying us all the way through

you grab on to me
I grab on to you
there is calmness
before
we are hurling out
of control
once more

to the precipice corner
of
the water's edge

Our eyes lock
you are looking into mine
desire's fears
blind
like the sun in your eyes.

You are letting go of my hand
rolling
to
the side
I'm not sure if you smile

Your feet are falling fast
holding *******
to
the dirt path.

I look down
into
the tumbling waters
straight to the bottom
to
the rocky reflecting dark pools
of
endless
desire, longings and lies

there is no going back.

The
currents unleashed rolling
are
too fast
too strong
for
that.

Closing my eyes
holding my breath
I take
the
dive
as
a matter of fact

I
went
straight back
to
the moment it all begins
when
I flew head long into you
now
I wonder
how often will
I
play this endless loop
through

just like that.

You
and I are
more than just
serendipitous, we are
the culmination of two paths
two lovers who found each other
in a binary universe that swallows most
hearts whole and causes wayward souls to lose
sight of hope's shore

you cannot wish love into existence (or how it came to be)*

came and was asked,
make us a star.

smiled and whispered to the
mother night belly black and
and their star,
unequivocal was given

came and was asked, for a cooling fooling breeze.

smiled and whispered to the clouds,
rush past us faster and shed us thy ease
and so refreshed,
gave up hands high grace salutes

came and was asked, why be alone,

whisper for her
to love you

smiled and whispered
this I cannot
nor would I want to do

came and was asked,

why be alone,
whisper for you
to love her

smiled and whispered
this I cannot
nor would I want to do

whisper what you will
but love
is a wondering and a wonderment eternal

a perpetuity of never knowing,
perfect surety is not love

it is a why without an answer,
a question's question imperfection

why you love today,
maybe a continent different
why you used to, or first to,
and tomorrow's raison d'être
as yet undreamt, unrealized,

you can whisper many things into being,
but beings in love are motions special,
and entitled to a category special

admixture of reason and lust,
hunger and thirst,
needy to be needed
needy to be giving,
the balance whacked,
constant change its formulae
called vagaries, chemical imbalances,
e-motions

should I whisper,
call out for love,
making it so,
there would be no why,
without the why,
what worth this be

so when you do whisper

I love you,*
admit it is a question
and an answer simultaneous,
it is a whisper of certain uncertainty

I'll be your Elk's Head
granite and sandstone
falling off into the Pacific
falling off over thousands of years
I'll take everything
the ocean has to give
every storm
every wind
with my smooth scarred
face forward
into the sea.

I'll be your kayaker
on those hormonal rivers
running through the white waters
of
ups and downs.

Sparking fireworks
like the crashing waves
at Elk's Head
we'll both go ooh and ahh.

I'll be the wood stove
warming you
when you lay
most exposed.

I'll be the breath
you feel when you are lost
in the nightmares of realities past
I'll breathe peace in
and fear out
with each breath
I take.

I'll be the morning sun
after migraine night
the
end of the pain
the beginning of delights.

I'll be there
when
the road is dark
a flashlight through
the horizontal snow.

We'll be there
when
the final nova flares
fireworks explodes
into oblivion
that'll be my hand in yours.