I think that I am all alone
then the wind whispers to me
telling me age old secrets from the trees

I think that I am all alone
when a lightning bug lands on me
it flits, it flights, it lights up the night

I think that I am all alone
when I look up to see a shooting star
no longer wondering where you are

and I just smile and send up my wish and prayer
to that wondrous castle in the air

Just thought I'd write these few lines
Praying God will take this message to you
I miss you so, dearest Joy!
Words cannot express the pain
Locked within my breast
Those times we sat sipping black coffee and
Talking about God and the Bible
Listening to a preacher on TV or sometimes a cartoon
The scent of your cigarette blending with spicy apple candle
Later you graduated to a smokeless cigarette,
Then finally you became too weak to smoke at all
Or even drink or eat or move
Dearest Joy, I miss you so!
I try to laugh and smile and joke
To comfort Tim and Marian yet the ache remains in my heart
Tim says he sometimes thinks he hears your footsteps in the woods
Sometimes I think I hear your soft knock at our door
Or that the phone ringing will be you
Always you were so sweet and appreciative
Thanking me over and over for the simplest little things
Thank you, sweetest Joy, for the lovely drinking glasses you gave us
And that special card you made which said
"Until we drink together of that water in heaven"
Forgive me for the Hospice group, dear Joy
I honestly believed that they would try to help
Rather than just cheerfully watching you die day after day
Thank you, dearest Sister, for all the sweet little gifts
Most of all your friendship and love
So I am praying that God will send this message to you
Perhaps show us some glimpse of Heaven to comfort our broken hearts
We love you, Sweetest Sister, and always will

**~Hilda~

You should get an Abortion.

It's for the best.

Your life is a wreck,
and you shouldn't want to
invite a child into your mess.
You're eighteen and homeless.
That's too young
to deal with all of this.
You can barely keep a hold
of yourself,
A kid would just make it worse.
It's time to just accept that.*

Those words were once meant for you, mom.
But, for some reason
you didn't listen.
You ignored their logic
and chose to battle through the pain.

You didn't give up.  
You fought on.
Got a car, a job, an apartment,
and a way out
of all the things that controlled you.

You didn't give up.
You knew you could be a better person,
and a worthy parent.
Because instead of being
constrained to your past
You used each mistake as a lesson
that slowly started to give you strentgh.

You didn't give up.
You believed in yourself
When no one else did,
and formed your own
path which,
inch by inch,
lead you farther from your fears
and closer to that moment
when you were able to sit
in the auditorium
and watch me graduate with the words
Thank you Jesus
ringing in the back of your head.
(I know they were)

You never gave up,
and look at us now, mom.
Look where we are.
It's a miracle.
We conquered all the odds
and ignored the logic.

Because you never gave up.

I want to be like you.
To face my trials
without any fear.
And when they tell me
to just give up.
To accept defeat.

I won't.

Because you didn't.

beneath
her
perfect
skin
only the
chosen
view
the scars