I'd like to see
The tears
you're crying

When they carry
My body
Away.

I'd like to know
You should
Have loved me

When you could have
Had
Your say.

I want lots of
Arms
to comfort

And help you
Get through
The grief.

I'd like to see
The tears
You're crying

When you could
Have said
Your peace.

Tell me that you'll miss me then.
I won't hear, but you'll say it then.
Tell me that we won't ever end.
I'll never know, but you'll say it then.

I'd like to see
The tears
You're crying

When you
Are feeling
Your pain.

Make
It all
about you

When it all
Comes back
Again.

When
The choir
Is singing

It won't be
Because
I'm gone

I'd like to see
The tears
Your crying

And know
You know
You were wrong.

Tell me that you'll miss me then.
I won't hear, but you'll say it then.
Tell me that we won't ever end.
I'll never know, but you'll say it then.

Can you tell me how
You love me now?
Can you let the secret out of Pandora's box?

I want your friends
To be
around

I want
You to
have fun

But first
The truth
Will eat you

For what
You've left
undone.

Some
Might say
It's better

That you
Are spared
Some pain.

I
Had lived
Not knowing

If I
Was loving
You in vain.

Tell me that you'll miss me then.
I won't hear, but you'll say it then.
Tell me that we won't ever end.
I'll never know, but you'll say it then.

I was taken a-back
By a memory
Of a sweet, sweet face
From long ago.

I can't find that place
Within me.
I wonder where and when
Did it go.

Dallas ain't the place
That I want to be,
But New Orleans ain't the same,
As before.

My heart doth break
For my one true love,
But I can't love
Anymore.

I'm so unique nobody could be me.
The words I say reflect what I see.
I know you; I know what you're thinking.
I see the light, but I don't know why it's shining.

Sometimes, I know, I get too upset
When wrestling with the puzzles that are in my head.
My heart could love, if not for the dread.
It's like a blade that's doing me a chining.

But I can't blame it on the rock-and roll,
It's the only thing that keeps me whole,
Lord knows, it's the only, only thing that's holy.
No you can't say I'm like the other guys,
I was living large before it was fashion wise.
You know, the angels treaded far behind me lightly.

The gossamer was endless and nestling to all it neared.
The tingling within the earth let usher forth a worthless beauty to every person of it's time; but which was to be unknowingly priceless to the lives yet to come.

And the prophet cried before the day he realized he was to die, the hour before he was to find...

Relief.

The automatic writing happens when you give it up,
And you never even know the meaning til it comes to pass.

But divination is a gift, even as the gossamer blinds your eyes.

And the fiber dissolves into the nullity.

When then spasm has become as the tapered wind, there is left but nothing.

I'm flipping through the vinyl at the vintage record store even though I haven't a penny in my pocket to spend.

The owner doesn't ever seem to mind that I am all the time hanging out there browsing.

All the music of my life is there.

Sometimes it makes me sad;
Sometimes it makes me happy.
It always makes me feel something,
But it never fails to quiver my eyes.

I knew the band was touring.
I heard they were coming soon,
That classic rock salvation
Is the only thing that sooths.

I could have fell
Right to the floor,
When rock and roll
Came through the door.

Have you ever seen an idol?
I mean, shining like a god
In glistening southern heat?
I pray to God our eyes don't meet.

He had a flowing tunic,
And a top hat on his fluffy mane.
A small entourage was with him.
His eyes were above his darkened shades.

I gasped and said a swear word that I could not keep inside.
Over stacked of dingy cardboard boxes he saw me,
I tried to beg apology but could not speak;
My legs were petrified.

In my chest my heart was pounding,
Sounding like the beating of a drum that timed each step that he took, as he walked around the musical maze to the spot where I was frozen.

Have you ever met an idol?
Someone who is more than just a man?
Someone who has the message of a poet,
And seems to understand like no-one can?

I forced myself to look away,
Looking down to the floor.
I hate that in this moment
I am so vulnerable,
And I love that my nerves are open raw.

I cannot believe all I can do is panic
And I know he must see that I am pathetic.
My soul is naked in his sight.

I know there is no possible way
I can recover from my shame.
I tremble when he puts his hand upon my shoulder
And tell me he understands, that it's alright,
Tells me him in the eye.

I am so close I can see the pores between the stubble on his face.

He asks me how I'm doing, now.
I tell him that my brother should be the one he is meeting.
He is older, and better and more steady in his grip. My brother loved him first because my mother used to play his songs. That's how I came to love him, too.
My brother is more a man than I.

He tells me that my brother isn't here.
That this is just the way it's meant to be,
This charity, serendipity.

He tells me he is honored I'm a fan
Of his music, and he's glad I like the band.

He ask me if I'm coming to the show.
I change my gaze to see the band behind him.
I tell him that I tried, I really tried.
I wanted to so bad. I had no money.
I've been out here on the streets for quite a while.
And, God, I cannot feel this moment.
Everything seems like it's going.
I cannot help but give my life to him.

Take a breath, he calmy tells me.
He holds his hand out to the side.
He signals with his beautiful *******.
What is happening?

And I ask him

"Have you ever met an idol
Someone you wish maybe you could be?
Or were you always beautiful,
Never just a runaway like me?"

He put the tickets in my hand and
Folds his over mine
And takes my hand as if we were praying.
Nobody is a nobody,
His eyes said to mine.
I can see he knows I understand.

He told me that he looked forward to seeing me in the front row.

I've had more than my share of news.
My pocket watch doesn't have a snooze.
I tried to get by the right way,
But the world's a society.
Somebody's getting burned
But it won't be me.

The slickest part of the granite is mine.
Stay on your side of the line,
Unless you get a clear invite.
No chance of that except in dead of night.
Somebody's getting burned
But it won't be me.

I don't want to take the blame
Of being foolish to your game.
I have heard it all before
And there's no use coming back for more.
Somebody's getting burned
But it won't be me.

The fragile nature of your face
Needs to look elsewhere for grace.
I am not the savior of souls
Though I've collected many tolls.
Somebody's getting burned
But it won't be me.

Are my lines straight as a curve
Or do I need to write more words?
I don't need to cease the day.
I just lock my heart away.
Somebody's getting burned
But it won't be me.

I've been lit by the candle's light
Buy the late night love of Mr. Right.
As solid as the moment was,
It wasn't even really love.
Somebody's getting burned
But it won't be me.

I go to where from angels flee
In their fits of jealousy.
I do whatev' I **** well please;
I'm stormy waters of the sea.
Somebody's getting burned
But it won't be me.

One day the one that set the course
Of my hardened tour de force
Will write me of a wedding day,
Some good came of sending me away.
Somebody's getting burned
But it won't be me.

I ain't no stranger to strangers.
I got a lot of love to give.
Can't see through to the back of the room.
When the lights go dim,
That's when the violence blooms.

The wispers carry on tension
Of the strings between the cans.
All the brows are down at me
And the words slash whenever they can.

But I've got one thing more
Than anybody with giddy grins
On their plastic faces
And their squared-off chins.

I've got life.

I've got life.

I ain't no secrets to secrets.
Many have been mine to keep.
Heaven knows, I've been a few.
When they got back to their houses,
They wished away secrets they knew.

They scream to break the tension.
If they don't, they go insane.
They poison their faces,
Turn the keys and spill their brains.

But I've got something more
Than loose binds to convention.
I'm a prism of truth
From another dimension.

I've got life.

I've got life.

Even though they say they don't,
I know that they want to know
''How does the other half live?"

then
your pale frame
eclipsed my sight,
you, the moon,
caught me staring
too long and i blinked
your face burnt black
into the backs of my eyelids,
there were nights
i would rub my eyes
and count the spots
you’d left like stars
(one two three four
five six seven eight)

then
i thought the numbers
in my head were all
the reasons we were wrong
i started sleeping
with my eyes open
if i shut them i’d see
holes and think of your craters
and how the men who tread
your surface don’t clean
their boots well enough
don’t think to ask you
how you like it before
they plant their flags,
but they offered you
the world, and all i had
to offer were the spots
in the backs of my eyelids
(one two three four)

then
rockets counted down
the seconds until they could
meet you and i
counted you out,
contented myself by
staring at the sun,
blinked and i
saw spots
(one two three)

i am no man,
would not simply
stake a claim so bold.
in hindsight,
you, the moon,
had already claimed me,
wrapped your evening flag
over my eyes
and made me yours,
i just never
noticed the fabric,
couldn’t see past
the spots in my eyes.

now i only see you in hindsight.

love   time   will   man   yeah   gonna   life   heart   feel   night   day   boy   eyes   find   mine   things   thing   place   long   town   hope   sky   times   hard   remember   good   kiss   kind   baby   knew   leave   ooh   bell   moon   true   wanted   cry   hearts   burn   face   told   mind   mississippi   inside   felt   stay   change   live   light   keep   pay   wonder   muddy   left   hear   call   drummers   going   sun   young   turn   loving   hold   dream   move   better   free   dark   beautiful   matter   tears   loved   three   moment   soul   help   truth   lie   circle   thrice   thought   song   wait   leaves   door   learn   birthday   talk   phone   wind   blood   christmas   head   hand   ride   high   lines   cold   bluez   feeling   turned   fear   poem   lies   longer   children   word   skin   blue   lights   today   heard   walk   fool   break   house   gotta   clean   understand   game   people   woman   picked   eye   hell   beneath   side   reason   jill   days   friend   tree   angel   tonight   dancing   sure   clear   ways   era   dreams   bobby   faith   stand   friends   songs   tired   payday   men   sing   honey   till   coming   held   kindness   year   blind   guess   thoughts   slack   play   pain   forever   set   rings   speak   breath   empty   middle   ocean   lost   cooler   curious   drink   story   burning   deep   chance   forget   rhythm   worth   guy   street   learned   full   strong   search   honor   feelings   lose   memory   write   wrong   silence   choose   equality   surely   care   feet   open   looked   bring   lessons   black   watch   bad   close   best   poet   catch   air   lonely   mosaic   struck   save   read   bail   soft   fast   start   stars   sleep   hate   finally   fall   die   recall   ten   water   met   misery   sheila   novia   brought   bite   hurt   player   work   nina   praise   lay   style   lifeline   beach   blues   living   blown   wonderful   white   sad   room   earth   hit   bare   state   won   attention   pity   laugh   second   child   grip   running   dust   early   glue   thinking   crying   hair   lips   dear   shine   drumming   seeds   single   shines   land   lot   dance   rod   follow   godless   send   heaven   brother   sand   cat   shining   darkness   hash   answers   sorceress   kids   changed   experience   golden   slivers   takes   dude   glad   charity   thin   sense   sit   swear   blocker   mayor   writing   thieves   happened   seeking   silver   shadows   drop   celebrating   afraid   surprise   shrew   thine   neglect   mad   hombre   valentine   mist   checked   john   season   wide   bed   flame   lover   bet   slay   winter   gentle   seek   sat   chest   harpee   paid   charm   stronger   drive   walking   corned   orleans   busy   cried   hopeful   luka   beam   arm   nature   knowing   sorrow   lotion   cut   drum   una   asked   sweet   caring   ****   checkbook   shrewd   rubs   voice   sounding   grand   reminder   ball   *****   strength   spend   consciousness   flesh   rest   vampire   touch   speed   prey   death   bit   burns   everytime   wraith   hose   ache   fairy   beef   universe   meaning   gnashing   waits   lake   cherished   slowly   drains   vitality   hopes   ear   cruel   stories   emotional   haunt   depth   shame   holding   star   games   fell   faster   moonlight   fresh   battle   evermore   smile   wished   risk   cool   crops   tenderness   settle   round   quicker   regret   pass   hide   saved   emotions   version   separation   shift   settled   named   illumination   standing   working   revelation   downfall   brings   refrain   stick   broke   shoot   knocked   crazy   pieces   ceremony   stayed   lamp   answer   charging   tale   shore   shade   enter   feed   midnight   paper   shake   perfect   police   fit   hot   bout   coffee   return   thee   walls   hands   foot   crock   tear   stopped   luck   heavy   opened   wondered   washed   someplace   paradise   drifting   cars   struggle   priorities   invitation   waited   rang   render   number   ring   boulevard   hangs   needed   wizzing   selling   passed   loves   lullaby   trending

you’ve told me before,
self-loathing is just
a common cliché,
now everybody’s doing it.

that’s not to say
i haven’t seen how
your eyes roam over
your body like you’d been
stitched together with all
the wrong fabrics
i don’t think
i’ve ever seen you
look as dissatisfied as
when you look
at yourself.

you’ve told me before,
self-loathing is just like
an std, everybody’s had it
at some point.

it’s just that some people
were smart enough to
use protection or are abstinent
and they’re the ones
who sleep easy at night
while you’ve always got an itch
to scratch it was never clear
how they toed the line
between their self love
and hate better
than others and you
were their other,
caught them staring
and couldn’t tell the line
between love and hate

(thought you saw it
split the ground open
wanted to dip your toes
into the nothing between
you were scared
you’d fall in).

but you won’t tell
me what it’s like
when you look at yourself,
and your reflection
is rag-doll ragged
the perfect pincushion
and you pinpoint
all the split seams
moth holes your
smile is just a
loose thread you stop
to unravel

and you won’t say
what it’s like
when your reflection is
all pins and points
and you’re not sure
if the rag-doll face
underneath is still
there, at one point
she smiles
like only girls with pins
in their lips can,
her lips unravel

(you don’t smile).

you’ve told me before,
self-loathing is just
a common cliché,
there’s no way you’d
be caught dead
doing it.

i’ve seen the red-capped pins
you keep with your make-up.

they look so much
like my own.



hey.
are you still there?
i can't see you beneath
all those pins.

I hope
at least one versions of you
will fall for
one versions of me.