Lost
at sea
in the eye of the
Storm

The wind took
me here

pushes me further
away from
shore

away from
Home

I've sent birds
from the
deck
but none
have returned

and now I have
none left

The stars and the moon
are no match
for the clouds,

no silver lines
slice through
on this night

Only mouthfuls
of salt water
and the stink
of dead fish

swept onboard
by wave
after wave
of rouges

The crew wash
overboard while
repairing, raising
the ripped sails,

some swept away
taken by the darkest
blades, and some
cling to what they can

They beg for
relief, seeking a

break,

but I can't control
much, much
less the weather

and I wish they
weren't here because
this ship is going
down

eventually,

and I know my fate
lays at the bottom
of some yet

uncharted waters
and as captain
I have a duty to

stay with
my ship
and save
my crew but,

they stay
with me because
they always have,

always will,
after all,

That's what friends are for

to guide your ship,
repair her sails,
help you find
the way home

while the storm rages,
the winds never
stop,

maybe the birds knew
the journey was a failure
from the start,

and once released
they found a nest like
they should've had all along

and in that
I can't blame them,

I'm still looking
for my Home too,

on a ship of friends
with my broken heart
rudder pushing
forth,

but in a heading
unknown.

Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.

I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?

You didn't love me, you just loved the thought of someone loving you

I thought that returning to its place of origin would help, but instead I sit and whisper to myself, willing the memories to disappear

Too little,
The rabbit,
Bukowski,

counted,
scheduled,
realized

that the clock
is unkind
and fate
unkinder,

In college
I went home
regularly

but the work week
doesn't have winter
or summer break,

and this town
isn't home yet
but it's the closest
thing to it,

Nights like
this I smoke
cigarettes on
my porch,

think about
what being a good son
is,

think about the nights
I didn't show up
for dinner when my dad
got home from his
forty hour weeks,

but it's all the times
I was there that bother
me the most.