Don’t let me hear the silence that comes without company.
anticipating at least one note. one beat, but it never comes.
i was mistaken, i was under the assumption that silence travels alone but alas it brings a friend. it brings my thoughts. so desolate, so desperate and eager to feed.
They will eat me alive
they will devour any hope that i have had for a better life
they will deconstruct my atoms and reconstruct my very manner so that my being is unintelligible.
i will become A monster
I try not to let my thoughts
Linger for too long in fear that they may close in on me.
for i am my strongest predator
in this jungle. I try
Not to think about
The nonexistent possibilities.
the things i imagine to keep myself sane.
I know we will never be. So I
Know I never see the daylight
And have you also lying right
Next to me.
The words “you’re beautiful”
grande jete off of your lips and into my point of view. I flash a modest smile just to please you. But deep down I know that was
Just one incredible lie.
I’m dying to know the truth.
“Am I really beautiful?”
My answer to myself is no
I am nothing.
a lesson on self hatred portrayed through almost loves