i never dreamed of becoming better
i just always wanted to be good enough

"pathetic"
"you're a miserable wretch"
"go back to the God-forsaken universe you came from"
"nobody likes you"
"plain. you are nothing."
"the world is good but better without you"
"non-sense"
"why are you so ugly?"
"talk to yo self"
"can you just.. di*?"
"painful? oh dear that serves you right"
"you'll never be enough"
"what a chaos"
"eww ***** you"
"8billion ppl and no one's grateful for your existence"




ugh.

hearing her again is infuriating my mind.

so I shut her up.

what happened to her, you guess?

read the title.

i hope that when i wrote you a poem
you'll read it
it's not about you
not totally describing you
or what you did to me
or how we used to be
it is not a mere poem
it is my heart poured into letters
--my soul's message for you
so whenever i write poems for you,
I hope you read it.

i was reading my own poems













i cried.

today feels like yesterday
and tomorrow's just another day
can someone tell the difference?
only time runs but not with my agony
it never runs out
still waiting for the death of darkness
but still i love the night
when someone walks in through
my strong great walls,
they break
when will be my daybreak
i want to finally learn to love light
because it seems to love me
then realized it was not about any other entity
its just me and my sadness
it never got any better,
somehow thankful to the lies
because it keep my dreams living
so whenever you see me smile
maybe i just get used to it
and yeah.
the saddest poem i'll ever write
is never really written in these words
the saddest poem i'll ever write
is the hollowed part engraved in my heart

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Isusulat nito ng malaya ang mga salita
Na hindi mabigkas ng mga labing tikom
Sapat ang tinta nitong pluma
Pamalit sa takot na pumipigil sa sarili

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Hindi na kailangan pang pagtakpan ng ngiti ang bawat sakit
May buhay ang plumang ito
Alam niya ang kanyang silbi, ang maghatid ng katotohanan

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Isusulat nito ang bawat pagkakataong nais niyang tandaan
Mga alaala na dala ng kasaysayan

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Maipaparating niya ang bawat pintig
Ng ligaya o sakit
Malaya ang plumang ito
Walang magbabawal kung ano ang dapat at hindi
Walang pipigil sa pagkawala ng tunay na kulay ng bawat pintig nito

Kung may pluma lamang ang puso
Ito'y susulat ng tula na magsasabing ikaw lamang ang magiging papel na nais nitong sulatan

Kung may pluma lamang ang aking puso,
Ikaw ang nanaising maging papel
Malaya ang plumang ito at ikaw ang kanyang pinipili
Buhay ang tinta ng plumang ito
At sa iyo, bilang papel, nailathala ang pinakamagandang kasaysayan ng pag-ibig
Na binigyang buhay ng
isang pluma at papel

devour me 'o daredevil




                             I'll be the danger that you want




                                                        if you promise to **** me afterwards