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  Jun 2014 Christina Adams
a m a n d a
all this talk of
future failure
a mind-blowing
collapse
and i tell you, sir
to gaze at
that light beside you
and the roots below
and tell me again
of your failures.
  Jun 2014 Christina Adams
Shannon
I am just your average sinner,
sly glances say, I am second chance, time around .
I spin mediocre wildest-dreams
in rundown hope hotels
I am just a pretty sinner with a
dusty trail of lust
like green pollen in my wake.
A vehicle of possibility
to all the places we can drive our devils,
with cocktails and vague musician
who lean back on wooden chairs, against walls of fading paint.
with tables for sins
to be laid out like Thanksgiving.
My sins are neon signs in yellowed rooms,
My sins are rusted cans kicked in old beach towns.
My sins are hot pavement under cracked rubber tires rumbling above.
My back arched in a prayer to the sky.
The rise of my hipbones like majestic mountains.
My sins leak from my eyes. First one, then another.
Down, Down they fall
I fall to my knees.
They fall and I curse them for leaving me too.
I fall to my knees like the traveler who has journeyed too long,
On my knees and  I kiss the dirt of home.
I am humbled and groveling...within my sinning.
And I pray a much louder prayer. I am a much humbler servant, with much to forgive.
I wear my sins like a raincoat to keep me dry from all the
good intention and 'well-deserved!' that might be coming my way.
I twist my sin into a paper flower and wear it in my sinful hair next to my sinful eyes by my sinful mind.
I am just your average sinner
Dreaming of living a better life someday.
Praying to be a better me, someday.
Someday is a funny place to live
With towering hopes
and skyscraping desires scratching at its sterile walls.
No, not for me.
I am just your average sinner...
with extraordinary sins.
i write because i have to, you read because you want to...and for that? i am grateful. thank you.
There's a place
where your heart settles
and your cheeks flush
and you shake with happiness;
and then there's a place
where your heart breaks
and your tears flood
and you shake with terror...
and that place
is with you.
Christina Adams Jun 2014
Why oh why was I so blind
In a perfect world you'd be mine
You're the perfect boy
I'm not the perfect girl
If my hair were longer
And I was smarter
And I was thinner
I still woulnt compare
I'm sorry that I pull
And I can't sit still
Eating comforts me still
I know I'm not perfect
I know I'm not wanted
I know I'm not beautiful
I know I have bald patches
Scars and wounds
Acne and fat
But hair grows back
Skin can heal
I can change all of that
But I still wont be perfect
I'll sill think that even if I change who I am
At least I'd have a shot
Why oh why am I so dumb
Think I'm going crazy
I've fallen for a boy who doesn't even see me
He knows what he wants
Hes made it clear
But I still hope
And I pray that maybe I have a shot
I'm not what you need I've made that clear
I can't take care of myself
I forget
I mess up
I day dream too much
But I opened up to you and tried to prove I can change
Look where that got me
Lying in bed
Same skin
Same hair
Same look
Everything seems to have stayed the same
Why oh why am I so blind
I couldn't see the truth
I'm not your perfect girl
This isn't a perfect world
This will never work
I guess I'm just some crazy *****
And you're a stuck up ****
I thought I had a shot with him guess not. The hope that I had for kills more than the actual heart break
Christina Adams Nov 2013
Boom its a gun shot
Boom my heart stops
You're an explosion in my life.
You tear through my soul
Burning my whole and shredding off my skin.
Forcing your hand into my heart  branding your mark into me to scar me.
Your words slice my brain and slither in to stay they will never leave me.
Boom its a gun shot
Boom my heart stops
This bomb, this bullet you call love is something I call war.
boom
...

— The End —