I.

A chance meeting in an abandoned place led to
weekly discussions and shy smiles neither of us
wanted the other to see

II.

You clung to me closer than a wet t-shirt and
became my shadow, always at my feet.

III.

A long time away from home in a mysterious
metropolis gave you my cold, hard message without
directly placing the dagger in your center.

IV.

How could I have not noticed how
beautiful you are? How
could I not keep you? How?

i spend most nights at your house
we wake up every morning
the same buzzing ringing in my ears
it seems to come from the same place
but not a familiar place
and when you don’t answer it
we all understand
it’s just not time yet
it’s not time to make decisions like that
it’s not time to grow up.

i want to get high with you

no no

no

i want you to be my high

i want to take you in, hold you in my lungs until i turn blue

and then finally i breathe you out

every piece of you sparkling as your arms pull me down

forcing my eyes closed because i’ve never felt this good before

my limbs melt and your skin brushes against every inch of skin causing it to erupt

i hear every layer of your voice, humming some unrecognizable tune that i know i had heard once before

and that nostalgia lifts me up

i try to reach up to you, but you are just out of my grasp

and i laugh

because i know that i can never touch you

but i can have this feeling whenever i want

Your roommates are the best people I've ever met and it makes me so sad that I can't play card games or hug them anymore.
2. My taste in music is so much better now because of you.
3. How did I not drink in every prolonged glance you shared with me?
4. I can't listen to Deer Tick anymore because it makes me miss your arms around me at their concert.
5. Your mom is so much cooler than my mom.
6. I felt smarter when I was with you.
7. We should've eaten more.
8. You were right to be angry when I was too tired to go out.
9. The scent of your stomach haunts me.
10. Easter will never be as special as the day I spent with your family.

you are a liar
stop pretending that you care
it's making me sick

I am tired of dreaming you next to me.

I dream about you every night
Baby
Love
I remember the way your unshaven cheek used to hurt my chin
We would kiss so deeply that it felt like we are fused
Your name rings through my head at 3 am when I wake up sweating
God
You are such a beautiful ghost now
Thank you for remaining in my dreams
At least you didn't abandon me there
My tongue is still poisoned by moaning your name over and over
Oh love
I wish it was two years ago and you still found me magical
Nothing measures up to us
Wherever you are though
God
I hope you're happy
You were so beautiful when you smiled
I try not to miss you
It's hard when no one cares
You were the hero I wanted
I'm sorry it took me so long to realize
Wasting my emotions on empty vessels
On ones who don't appreciate my love
You were then, now, and enternity.
Please don't stop visiting my dreams.
We get along well in there.