I stand at
the last divided capital in the world and it confuses me how the land I am from is still being owned by greed and discrimination
we sit at the cusp of the border and an elderly man sells us ice cream
I sit in your lap on the metal chairs,
admiring the history that lived before me
this man was watching knowing his life was in an echo of a torn country

complacency

he moved boxes around, cluttered in old ornaments and memory
the other side of us there were  children in a violin lesson
so unaware
of the wall
their parents wait for them in small conversations
an officer in blue parols with eyes that are hungry and glowing like a fox in the strangeness of night, preying,  feral, searching.

we went for coffee, i don't even like coffee
but i liked his grip around my waist and
the ten days he is here for like a cigarette
that burns out and he re lights again for comfort

we went for a walk and  the sun poked holes through the tree tops. we talked about education choices, then circulated our breathing back to
crisp
cool
delicate lungs

we went to sleep, on an old sofa bed,
piling duvets up on top of each other to sink into
i stay up too late and then i'm always the first to sleep
i wonder if he falls because i do

Every time
we are apart
I learn how to be alone
again

I am thankful for
slow sunny days
repairing my
independence

just so I can
pretend I am ok
with missing you

he was a mirror
for all the inner work
i did

I am your 3am star that you see from your window sill

In your daylight slumber,

I am what showers you in curiosity

And wonder

Filled of days with you

So beautifully mastered

I am yours

The houses here are like miniature towns,
their walls are crumbled and ruined
and our eyes float up to the signs
above the car windscreen,
he said i make him see everything
differently, its like having a new set of eyes

with the lights that glide down the front of the beach,
we drive and stay up too late
i am still adjusting to
the difference in sea air  and
the confusing
culture change
but this feels real