As I stand, sit, stand
Tears stream out of my eyes
Who are you?
Surrounded by love for you
I cry
Not for the stranger the lies behind the curtain
A corpse
But for those I love.
I love. Those who loved you.
Black surrounds me
Subdued colours
Black rustle, slink, stretch
Your picture stares out at us all as we sit
Stand,sit
Listen to a song I've never heard before
You loved it, its happy
I don't think you would have liked to see this
The crying. Grief surrounding your remains
I brought some flowers to put
On the plot where your ashes will be
But you didn't want anything
They are burnt alongside you
The memories aren't burnt. They remain
Brighter than before. Calendars and
Jumpers. Always too small but I wore them anyway.
I didn't know you, but
I miss you.

Blank inspiration
Morbid death
Grey skies, clothes
White paper
Exams fill brain
So much forgotten
Time to relax is gone
Try to remember
Full memory empty
Don't want to
No choice
Morbid
Desperate in life

language warning*

So what.
I am a person, with hobbies
Interests

We need labels to understand, but I don't remember anything about labels to discriminate.
How can a feminist be racist? Or any other paradox

They are just labels- to explain and no more. **** all of those *******

So... I'm bisexual
Shock!
Horror!

Nothing more anymore
Identity limited- Why the **** should it be?

To say that just one of my labels defines me, it makes me inferior- well that makes you as a ****

The Jewish labelled with their numbers- me with a word- do you see what you do to me
And to yourself.

Love.
It has made fools of us all, for centuries gone by. I am a fool.

The awkward smile
The absent-minded tucking of my hair behind my ear

I glow in her company

She is radiant, and it rubs off onto me a little when I am near her.
There must be a quote about that somewhere.

A fool I may be, but an honest fool
I see her faults

Selfharming and shoplifting,
But a thief with morals

How to say something?

Yes.
At sixteen I've never been kissed
Let alone gone further

For too long I was looking in the wrong area
But now I now who I am

I'm not going to pretend anymore
I'm finally going to be me

I would like to love another
And for them to love me

I'm ready, but I'm just too ******* shy
To make the first move

What happens if the friendship dissappears
Afterwards

I'm scared and frustrated but most of all I'm
Embarrassed.

Does she know what I'm thinking
Can she see it in my eyes
When she talks about Alice
A little bit of me dies

I weep but she doesn't see.

She's so beautiful but she doesn't know it
Her arm covered in lines of silvery white
They read 'dragon' again and again
When she walks in the room my heart soars like a kite

I head it so I don't embarrass her.

I have her gift that smells of her
Her picture in my head is what keeps my alive
Sometimes I sit and watch her draw
Good cop bad cop sketch book five

Just this year.

I have no shame of what I feel
But I can't confront those who will
The one I've told I think has guessed who
But if I tell others my grave is filled.

I'm not ready to die quite yet.

The friendzone is a danger
Which I am part of now
We have so much in common
Escape? Tell me how

I dare not break the bond we have.

I'm not stupid I know she has faults
But I admire each of them
Because she knows what they are
And to me they are gems

To be prized an not forgotton, but admired.

In turn she knows what I am like
How cruel I am to those I love
How I destroy all that I care about
Because I am a bomb and not a dove

Painted white to show my innocence

the utter hatred i felt in that moment how angry i was that she could bear to hurt someone else and not feel at all bad she thought that if you hurt someone they would still cone running back and i did i shouldnt have but i did because i had a sense of honour of duty to my family how stupid i was to think that i cared about someone who would happily see me die just to claim my belongings i thought she cared about me as i care about her but no she only pretends she does and as soon as mum has gone out she goes back to her true self just waiting to hurt me using any insult she knows will **** me a little bit inside my only sister supposedly a person to rely on a person to help me when i need it but no she just kept kicking me down until i could not get back up because i felt like everyone would do the same but no one saw her for who she was they only saw her outside the mask she put on to cover up what she was really like and to think i would have died to save her i still would because she is the favourite despite what anyone says she always will be the favourite because in their eyes she cant make a mistake in their eyes she is a goddess to be worshipped and if she says i deserve to die they will sen the assassin themselves not waiting to hear what i have to say i just want the quiet like the wind in the trees and the rain on a window pane all by myself but with friends nearby so my head cam explode in silence and i can feel peace without having to worship the goddess and feel sorry for her nonexistent injury and pretend she is kind or that she cares if i live or die and she is meant to love me and i her but just *** shes my sister it doesnt mean that we love each other i do deep down but it is hidden by the anger at the way she treats me and thinks pretending to be upset will gain her sympathy but i see through it even if mum doesnt and leaves me to grieve alone crying myself to sleep nobody knows i stay quiet so she doesnt hear me so i  don't wake her even though i shouldnt care but i still try to be kind and i say sorry when i get it wrong but no the goddess is too good for acknowledging injury to others either physical or mental she just doesnt care how anyone else feels how can she be so selfish or not be aware of the daggers she drives into me when she talks i can feel them stabbing into my heart leaving open wounds that will not heal just stay there until my whole heart is red raw and bleeding i must find a passion but what is there but a void of silence drown out the silence watch the snakes drown and cry as she disappears the snakes are all that is left medusa the gorgon once beautiful and clever but no longer the silence of the snakes has taken the beauty there is only cruel perfection perfection of the cruelest kind the silence hurts but the words hurt more the words hurt more