I was Fifteen.
You were twenty.
Torn and broken,
That's how you left me.
What kind of man are you
To act the way you did.
To break down and destroy me
I was just a little kid.
It's been five years already,
You'd think I'd finally be ok.
But I can still run it through my mind
As if it were yesterday.
There was beer on your breath
And your eyes were red
Twenty minutes later,
I wished I was dead.
You pushed me down.
You called me a *****.
Even after all these years,
There's so much left to fix.
You finally left me
The room just seemed to spin.
Even now I just feel disgusting
Living in this skin.
I don't know what made you choose me
Nor do I care.
Just the thought of seeing you
Is too much to bare.
I hope someday you realize
How disturbed you truly are
For upon my heart
Will always be this scar.

brushing sand back and forth
I wonder where your eyes rest
drinking in the possibilities
that yearn to exist
anticipation
of a rising tide
hopeless hurry
because in the end
I can't be satisfied

why do you do it, if it won't last?
it will just get destroyed in the end

well,
don't we all?

*yet we persist

I fight to fear another day.
Each step I take,
I exert my last will,
my last bit of strength.

The world has left me cold,
alone, to fight.
I fear what I have become,
and what will become of me.

Each day that passes by makes me stronger,
as I grow weaker.
My bones are brittle,
my heart is shriveled,
but I am one with myself.

I can withstand anything,
weather any storm,
if in the end,
I can build myself back up again.

My will is strong,
my words are one.
I am,
determined,
my mind is clear,
and I will not stop moving forward,
until I die.

My days are long and short
at the same time,
and I have fallen off of the
'care' cliff,
because I do not care that
I was caught cheating on my test,
because I do not care that
this mess is what I call my room,
because I do not care that
my skin is breaking out and you must lie when you say that I'm beautiful.

Because I do not care that
I am dangling from strings called
"I should." and "You better." and "...or else."

porque usted nunca entendió
lo que quise decir cuando dije:
siempre estás en mis sueños;
como verano y limonada,
quemaste mi piel y eras
agrio en labios secos;
finalmente yo corto la pulsera
que me diste, y la corazon
de la musica se está desvaneciendo.

es marzo,
y le hice una promesa a mi mismo;
llovió la última vez que lloré por ti
y nevó cuando me olvidó;

ya no estás en mis sueños nunca mas.

I'm gonna start this day out right
I'm gonna fall in love
Fall in love with my life
And you can't stop me, no
You can't stop a heart from breaking
All the truth that you were shaking
And just how many lies
Does it take
For you to realize
I was never yours
In the first place

So stop pretending
Deflate that ego, boy
Our friendship is pending
Our whole lives are pending

But I'm gonna start this day out right
Because I'm fine, I'm just fine
And I'm gonna fall in love
Fall in love with my life

And you can't stop me, no
You can't stop my heart from beating
Can't stop my eyes from bleeding
And I can promise you this
I've never been better
I've never felt so fine
It really is for the better
I'm glad that you're not mine

Read it through again and tell me
*Do you still think I don't know how to lie?

Four walls become a cell
Hard to breath
Plan to escape
Once out not sure where to go
Thoughts of no home
Eyes burn in the light
Close them and think
Hate has grown not
Tired of being alone
Heart of stone
Emotions colds as ice
Escape the weak
Strong and bold
Will not fold under pressure

Everyone has a breaking point
And I guess I've reached mine
Everything seems pointless to me
And nothing seems worth the time
The  medication isn't working
And the coffee is weak
I don't see a point in anything
I wish the will would come back
I'm done caring
I'm done hurting
And I'm done inflicting pain on the people I love
I'm tired of being lied to
I'm tired of you talking about me behind my back
I'm tired of people acting like they care.