You tell me not to cry...
So my tears i keep to myself...
I doubt you'll miss me,
You'll be okay.
That's who you are,
But I'm sorry but I'm not the same.
Yes, I'm a pain.
But at the moment I don't care,
Cause you know you're not really fare.
How hard is it for you to spare,
Just a moment with me in prayer.
You think i want so much,
But all I want to see is your devotion to me,
But I guess the buzz is better than the rest.
I don't think I've had a love that is so cold.
But I guess passion dies down as you get older.
I comfort myself with the words...
"You're going to loose her"
But like birds
Flying from North to South,
She has something that there is no cure...
I guess you've turned me into a liar too...
Where i seek the comfort of a special brew,
Of depression pills, allergy pills and a shot of *** or two.

She lights up the sky
Way up high
Revealing to all
Their steps before they can fall
Hidden in her shadows
Are those who are in the gallows
A reflection from the sun,
All cannot see when she comes undone
Because she shines her light
So bright
But what does she hide?
The things she tries to confide,
The invisible hits,
Knocking off bits
Scattering them into the unknown
Moondust

A smile spreads across her face,
A gleeful sound escapes her lips.
As she runs towards Him,
Her saviour who shines
Brighter than the sun.

I sit in awe as I watch you work,
Hands so perfect
That no matter how hard I try,
I cannot capture the beauty and strength they hold.
As each muscle is pulled
As your fingers work
Creating yet another master piece.
Long fingers that create,
Each rounded tip,
as they dip
into the bucket of water next to yiu,
Like a calcuated dance
They move with grace
My creator
Hands that words cannot begin to descibe
With all the correct adjectives
To give a clear picture
of beauty untold.

You are my fifty shades of grey.
Like Anastasia Steele I drown for you,
Like an invisible string
My gaze follows you
Watching, waiting,
Always expecting you around every corner.
every time I'm behind the wheel,
But I don't want to change,
Into someone I'm not.
If you're going to love me,
Know me for me.

It's a glance,
Then it's a stare
Then it's a glare...
You glance my way
but I turn away.
You stare at me
Then I wonderwhat's to be.
You glare when I walk past
As my smile touches my lips,
and you glare.
When I frown,
You stare
When I sing my heartout,
You glance....

The floodgates have been opened,
catching me unware
I'm caught
beneath the onslaught of rushing water,
As I am being tumbled
to the bottom
I know I need to move
But as much as I try
My efforts are furtile
But I still try
Without success

As the showers pour,
Let laughter burst forth,
As the thunder roars,
Let the sound of applause mimic it.
As the sun shines,
Let your pearly whites show.
As the flowers bloom,
Let your love grow.
As the whistles blow,
Let your hearts glow.
For there is one God,
One above all,
Who carriers us all as His load.

From my lips pours out your name.
Like a waterfall cascades down,
a rocky path.
It's an uphill journey,
to the one I love most.
A sunset captured in a bottle.
A rose flowering within a jar.
Made of clay I am
But a daughter of a King I am today

like a fool I fall in love
but like a fool it is only one sided
As a rose is crimson red,
So are my cheeks when I see you,
yet this river does not flow upstream,
Only downstream.
And that is how it is when you,
pass me by.
Like a hiker trapped on a mountain top,
Only he can see the rescue plane.
As you pass me by,
It is the same as I say Hi.

Like a game of chess
Im always in a position of
Checkmate

I am a lump of coal,
             -You are the spark,
That ignites my heart into a burning furnance.

A shimmer in your eye.
A glance at your face.
Sets my heart apace.
The sounds around me turn into echos of each syllable that comes out of your mouth.
Your lips become my focus.
As it moves my mind traces out each perfectly formed line imprinting them in my memory so that I can dream tonight.
I become a photographer behind a lens.
Waiting, watching as each word is pronounced how it contorts your face.
Waiting, watching for the moment my finger can click the button that will set start to the explosion of light as morning dawns and your face is illuminated catching the perfect timing in a matter of seconds hen your guard has been let down and your heart is revealed bringing to life the well shelter untamed emotion of my meaning to you.
The the shutter closes and once again the wall is up leaving the mind to wonder if the eyes have played tricks on it again.
But the acceleration in the heart beat ask the mind question itself again, if only it can find the right box with the right photo of that millisecond when the heart felt as though it had been struck by an arrow causing the stomache to knot.

You send tingles down my sides,
You unsettle the butterflies,
You make the liquid dew drops to fall from flower petals.
You cause the peaks on mountain tops to rise.
You cause a catch in the inhaling of a breath,
You cause downcast eyes to stare.
You cause chests to rise as a deep breath is drawn in.
You cause muscles to tighten.
You cause the lilies to open.
You cause the wind to blow across the hilltops.
You make the land dry, then bloom with your water.
You cause the streams to part.
You cause little soldiers to wonder in wetlands and marshes.
You cause the owl at night to hoot.
You cause the peaches to ripen
You cause the fruit to be harvested.
You cause the  windmill to spin.
You cause the grinding of wheat to begin.
You cause the earth to tremble and shake.
You cause railways to break.
You cause rope bridges to swing.
You cause uncontrolled emotion to sweep through allowing no chance to return.

Allow my skin to be as white as lily petals smooth to the touch and the eye.
Allow my cheeks to be splattered with warm honey drops.
Let my lips be as a dusky rose as the last rays of the sun touches its tips.
Let my hair be long and brown with sun kissed tips as a tall willow tree, with golden rings.
Allow my eyes to be bright and green as the leaves collect the stray drops from the mighty waterfall reflecting the light of day.
Let my nose be proud and dainty, as a chess piece that stands proud and tall as it has won its victory.
Let my breath be sweetly scented as the blossoms that announce Spring.
Let my spine be as straight as a 90 degree angle resembling as perfectly built wall.
Let my legs stand firm in place and only fall to their knees before the creator of all.

My breath is continuously held,
Waiting to be released.
For when I see your face.
The wind will be knocked out of me.
The drums will begin to play.
The vines will begin to tighten.
The frog will get their tongues tied together as they shoot out to catch the insect flying by.
The blinkers will be put on the horses so that all they can see is you.
The air will thin out to the point where the stars will begin to flash before my eyes.
The sun will shine brightly,
And thee wind will caress me with its gentle fingers.
When the time has come,
I will know,
You are the one.

I'm surrounded by Your presence,
Engulfed between Your hands.
Teased by Your scent.
I walk within Your paradise,
Continuously surrounded by the scent of French Vanilla.

How easy we fall....
    Succumming to the lies that we tell ourselves.
        Walking with our heads held high....
             Only to step straight into the traps layed down by our enemies...
                    How easy it is to step back into our own traps....
                          Returning to the old habits of keeping everyone at bay....
                                 Watching as those take a leap of faith,
                                      Walking upon the waters....
                                          Running towards their carefully selected paths.
                                             How easy it is to give into the bubbling hatred
                                                 allowing it to escape through open                    
                                                    doorways....
                                                       Forgetting that words are like flaming
                                                          arrows that target the heart.
                                                            Before the shattered pieces can reach
                                                              the mind, the opinion is made.
                                                                 the emotion cannot be changed.

It's a mad house filled with characters from all different shades.
Walking down the street comes the mermaid whose head is filled with all colours of the rainbow.
Willing the clouds to open and let down its water, maybe her tail will grow.
Sitting in the café, Alladin is serving us with his cheeky smile as he speaks to you.
But you can see life has been tough as he turns around and  his smile turns into a frown as matters return to his mind.
And that one looks as though she has had a nasty trick played on her, someone must of bullied her cause it looks as though her heads been flushed down the toilet.
at the counter stands a man covered in ink, his life written down for all to read.
At the burger bar points the audience at the young girl who has dreams of having a husband and a family of her own someday, but they're dreams that if she was able to achieve, her children would either be still born or would need to live on oxygen tanks for the rest of their lives.
Across the table sits the sad clown in black and white with his flower drooping.
How worry is etched across his face  about how the ball missed that one goal that was so important to him.
The jester sits next to him, giggling. All smiles he is continuously filled with glee.
The one that sits on the right forgets which hand to use but can tell you which day you were born on just by knowing you birth date.
All have dreams and inspirations that they wish to achieve, but circumstances prevent them.

When You are within,
                                 You breath life into me.
                              Allowing Your breath to move me,
                              Oh to sing and glorify Your name.
         You King above kings has lifted the cloud that hung above.
  You allowed the rain to fall upon the wilting crop allowing it to flourish.
          Still only the beginning of a mighty tree, I need to lean upon You.
Need to be protected and shielded from the weeds that grow amongst me.
                               Weeds that suffocate the joy,
  Weeds absorbing the nourishment that you have spread around me.
But you are my gardener, pruning, clearing and supporting the little life that is growing.
                                         Thank You Abba.

If only I could thank you for everything that you helped me with,
If only I could apologise for allowing my pride to make me act against you,
I don't know what stops me,
Actually I do.
                            FEAR.....
Fear that I'll reveal what is in my heart, and fear that you'll brush it off.

A life long lived is a life filled with nothing but emptiness,
A life well lived is a life filled with exotic wilderness.
A life complete is a life well nourished,
A life with love is a life filled with fresh water.
A life with joy s a life filled with intoxicating perfumes of fresh flowers,
A life filled with expeditions is a life filled with hope.
A life filled with hope is a life well lived,
A life filled with graciousness is a life filled with extravagances.
A life filled with mercy is a life filled with joy.
A life filled with extravagances is a life filled with expeditions.
A life filled with fresh water is a life filled with graciousness.
A life lived in an exotic wilderness is a life that is complete.
A life that is well nourished is a long life that is filled with fulfilment.

Are you another shooting star that draws my attention to you as you skip upon the horizon?
Announcing your arrival as you enter earths atmosphere with a sizzling sound like waves crashing upon a shelly shore.
Are you another shooting star bringing a glimpse of white light as you flare up as you bounce upon the layers of the ozone?
Bringing a sense of joy as you quickly pass by, leaving behind only a memory of you as you disappear in the darkness of the night.
Oh how I wish I could go out and find you.
Find the place where you collided into the surface of the earth.
On the outside you appear as a burnt rock worthy of nothing but perhaps enough to skip on the face of still water.

But what a fool I would be, to toss something like you away.
A special black rock that holds secrets within.
To us, you bring other worldly treasures that no other can compare to on this little planet of ours.
This time I'm not going to throw you away,
But I'm going to treasure you the way you ought to be.
Remembering the way you entered my view with your flame of light.

As you draw in a breath,
I see the sun rising over an endless sea.
Touching the dark waters with its light.
Filling the sky with captivating colours.
As you exhale,
The sun sets slowly disappearing behind the horizon.
Allowing the moon to shine and the stars to come out like diamonds on a dark blue ballroom gown.
Dancing boldly across the sky.
As you look towards me and your face.
I look upon snowy mountain peaks with sharp edges,
and scenery that leaves you breathless.
As I look at your hands, the hands of a craftsman who creates awe inspiring art.
As you speak I hear the sweetest melody as each chord is plucked on the harp between your hands.

My bed is made,
Like a bride adorned in her jewels,
Waiting for her groom.
I lie on a bed of silk sheets,
covered in a garment of satin.
I lie awaiting for my King.
My lamps are filled with oil,
They burn from dusk to dawn,
And from dawn to dusk.
I await for my groom,
Because I know I am his treasure.
I await for my groom,
Like a sparkling jewel.
With a mixture of anxiety,
I lie await for my groom,
Filled with the hope that I will please Him.

Oh bearer of the lamp,
Do not let your flame extinguish,
But lay your wick within the oil,
So that it may soak.
Let it soak and be covered in oil so that it may burn the brightest,
For those who are lost may see.
Let the shadows pass away as the light reaches the far corners of the room.
Burn bright.
Open your doors so that the weary traveler may find a place of rest.
Lock your windows though, so that the thief may not enter in.
Stand on the roof tops and pray.
Water your garden so that the seeds may grow into trees with deep roots within the flowing waters below.

Oh you and your *** appeal,
But with a heart that does not feel.
Time and time I've said goodbye,
The I say lets give it another try.
But it would be a lie,
A lie to say that your heart does not feel.
And to give it another try,
Would be like sliding on a banana peel.
A man with a heart of gold.
Wouldn't I be so bold,
To say,
That it was our story being told of a Romeo and Juliette.
That the time for us is not yet.
What a bet!
Like a jester who dances for the King and Queen.
Let's say its somewhere I've already been.
If it had been foreseen,
The lesson would of already been learnt and,
The girl already burnt.

I was hungry, you fed me.
I was thirsty, you gave me water.
I was cold, you gave me a blanket.
I was sad, you made me laugh.
I was tired, you let me sleep.
I lost my favourite bangle, you bought me a new one.
I wanted new clothes, you bought me new clothes.
I needed money, you gave me money.

                              As I became older I realized,
When I was hungry, it was your food you gave me.
When I was thirsty, it was the last bit of your water that you gave me.
When I was cold, it was your blanket you gave me.
When I was sad, you went out of your way just to make me laugh.
When I lost my bangle, you bought me a new one regardless of how little money you had left for yourself.
When I wanted clothes, you bought clothes for me even though you needed them more.
When I needed money, you gave me the last bit of money that you had.

I have been so privileged and blessed to have a mother who has always been willing, regardless of the situation to sacrifice and give without a second thought. A mother who has shown me the true meaning of unconditional love. Thank you for being the mom that you are and I thank God everyday for giving me the mother that I most needed.

I miss you but I do not know you,
You walked out of a dream,
Although I had never seen
Someone like you.

As though you and me have never been apart,
Now you've stolen my heart.

When I don't see you, I miss you.
And I begin to feel blue.

When I'm ready to say goodbye,
you come around and say hi.

When I see you around, I want to run up to you and embrace you in my arms.
Then I remember I don't know you, and remember to act calm.

When I see you smile,
I feel that I could just watch you for a while...

But then I remember I don't know you. So I look away.

But the best pleasure is to see you filled with joy and laughing in a group of friends. So I say goodbye and pray for your life to be filled with love and joy.

The days pass, the nights fade.
The sun rises and the sun sets.
The birds migrate to different climates in different seasons , avoiding the cold.

If only time could stop that the small things could be appreciated.
Like the buzzing of bees moving from one flower to another instead of the roaring of an engine during the stopping and starting of traffic as everyone waits to reach their destinations.

Everyday another inch has grown and my hair becomes longer.
I know the day I cut it, was the day your plane landed.
I know the day it reaches the same length will be the day that your plane flies away.

I know it would be selfish if I cut again just to keep you here a little longer because you are a servant of God, and cutting my hair short again is not going to stop you from fulfilling what you were called to do.

Being in the presence of God is so amazing, that we all know serving our one true King is the greatest opportunity to have.

If you are addicted to water as I am, you will know that being in the presence of the Lord is like being under a powerful waterfall, cocooned in safe embraced under the rushing water.

If you are addicted to sweet smells as I am, you would be the first to be addicted to the smell of the Lord. In His presence its almost as if you are in a secluded field filled with wildflowers and as you inhale your senses are assaulted with the most beautiful smell of roses that the sweetest, softest rose on earth cannot mimic.

I know that God sent you, so that the bride may be reunited with the groom and so that hope may be restored.

But I wonder what will happen to you prayer warrior?

As time has passed, marked by another grain of sand falling on the heaped dune in the hour glass.

Time is quickly approaching when I will have to say goodbye.

During different journey's you come to different obstacles in your pathway.
Faced with indecision, which way is the best?
Is the most challenging question that you find yourself asking.
Iny-miny-mini-mo used to be a strategy that worked for me.
But when I came to this crossroad that would not do.
So I sat and,
Watched the clouds change as the birds swirled in the air warning all of the storm on the horizon.
Watched as the hands moved around the clock face.
Watched as the numbers changed, seconds, minutes, hours, days, months.
My heart has been captured but I grabbed it back.
Both have entered my dreams.
One welcoming,
One silent.
Who would of thought that I'd miss you even though I don't know you?
Who would of thought I would miss you even though I know I can't have you?
Who would of thought I would crave you when I've only spoken to you twice.
Who would of thought I would of craved you when I've set you free?
Who would of thought that you only came to guide me closer to God and then left having done your mission?
Who would of thought that I only met you to plant a seed within you?
Who would of thought that the first time that you acknowledged me was the last time I would of seen you?
Who would of thought that I would fall in love with you?
Who would of thought two men so different could be so similar and would of had similar impacts on my heart?
But once again I sit down and observe.
Within the silence I enjoy the scenes that are played out before me.

Oh what a beautiful dream you were.
A dream where I whispered sweet words to you as I clung to you.
oh what a divine adventure you were.
Where I experienced things I had never thought I would I actually experience.
Oh what a sweet lullaby you were as I fell asleep by your side.
Oh what an interesting mind you were.
Bringing new ideas as well as connecting ideas with me.
Oh but what a sorrow you were.
When I had to let you go, let go of the fantasies of you and me in my head.
When I had to face reality and finally acknowledge the truth of you and me never meaning to be.
Oh but what a dream you were.
Where others have left me feeling unclean.

Oh but you,        (E!3)
                                .
You inspired me .
                             .
and set me free.

Like a porcelain doll,
So small and fragile,
Handle with care,
Or she will break.

Like a porcelain doll,
Her heart is made of glass,
So handle with care,
For it may break.

Like a porcelain doll,
so fragile and small,
Yet so beautiful to look at,
Handle with care,
Tender hands, gentle tongue,
Or she may break.

Like a porcelain doll,
So fragile and small,
Or she may break.

This is how you make me feel,

Like a porcelain doll,
who you need to handle with care.

Like a porcelain doll,
Whose heart is made of glass,
or it will break.

With tender hands you care for me
with a gentle tongue you talk to me.
How is it that you make me feel so fragile,
As if I'm about to break.
How is it that you make me feel that only within your hands I'm looked after and that if I'm in another's hands I will break.
How is it that if its another voice I hear,
I would break?

You still affect me so!
When I see you!
A kinda hush seems to come about,
Almost as if I've been engulfed by a huge wave
and seemed to be saved
by looking in your eyes.
Knowing that as long as its your eyes I'm looking into,
I won't need to worry about having to breathe.
Then the moment breaks and all sound and awareness flooding in,
reminding me of where and who I'm with.
Reminding me again that I'm head over heels with a man
I cannot be in love with!

During this I think of you,
Sweet butterfly kisses
The memories are but few.

During this I think of you,
Sweet butterfly kisses
The memories are but few.

Honey bee, honey bee,
How I wish you would come to me,
But I know I must set you free.
Because it is your sting that frightens me.
A yellow and black butterfly has returned,
But last time I was burned.
But it's for you I yearn.
Honey-bee, Honey-bee
You know it was you who helped me,
Did you not see?
Yet I must set you free.
Why has fate been so cruel
to fuel
My love for you?
Do you feel it too?
That fate has been cruel,
And played us for fools?
That we want the ones we cannot have,
Yet we crave.