Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
everybody
leaves me
&
i
am left smelling their
clothes
i am just a mom deeply missing my son,
the real boy,
not the story i've repeated about him too many times
and definitely not the face of a teenage boy
who will never age on those **** missing child fliers,
but my son whose voice i can no longer remember the sound of
or whose hair i can no longer remember the smell of
when i would slyly sniff his head
I also miss his lost opportunities
of graduating high school,
getting to grow up,
move out,
date all the girls he could ever want,
falling head over heels in love
and marrying one that would steal his heart,
finding his dream job
or even working at hundreds of hated ones
until he found his calling,
and his babies,  
i miss the babies that he never got the chance to have,
but mostly,
i just miss that chicken **** of mine,
Colton.
 Sep 2014 Cassie Stoddard
brooke
they say you should
fear flowers for they
grow in adversity,
adapt, and face
the sun, and
when we
were little
we ****** on
the stems of gardenias
like honeybees with our
nimble, sticky fingers. And
today I learned to ride a bike
with no hands and a sweat
plastered shirt clinging to
my spine, so, instead,

shouldn't you be afraid of me?
(c) Brooke Otto 2014
in the last 6 years
I have learned the hardest part of all this
has been forgiving myself
and desperately hoping that
in the big picture,
some how all of this will make sense
or at the least,
through the passing of time,
the pain will have lessened
and acceptance
and healing will occur
making the idea that maybe,
just maybe,
all that talk i'd been taught,  
considered,
relied on,
believed in,
questioned,
doubted
but eventually rejected,  
about life after death
and of souls that go to Heaven
might actually,
possibly be true
and  that he is ok.  
Probably more okay than the ones he left behind.  
God,
and I pray there is One,
I hope Colton is ok.  
If there is no hope of ever seeing him again,
his death will never make sense to me
and life here on Earth
is simply pointless
and insignificantly meaningless.
However,  
I've chosen to believe otherwise,
and If I am to gain some lessons
and use my life for a greater purpose
rather than to continue living
as that all too comfortably familiar self centered,
ungrateful,
entitled person that I was
before that Friday morning,
6 years ago today,  
and am still but hopefully not as much,
his life
and his death
weren't in vain.
No matter what I write
Or how I write it,
Nothing will sound as beautiful to me
As the sounds you make
When I touch you.
I've been scrawling secrets on the undersides of stranger's welcome mats
And I've been running out of ways to tell you that I need you to come home.
 Sep 2014 Cassie Stoddard
Jay
When you're starving for love,
don't give what little bit you have away,
for you will feel more hungry
when everything
is taken
from you
and
you will be left feeling more empty than you ever did before.
I don't believe in God
But I believe in faith

I don't believe in miracles
But I believe in hard work

I don't believe prayer works
But I believe prayer heals

I don't believe we need to give
But I believe we should

I do not believe in many things
But I believe in much more
One day
There is going to be someone
Who will crack your heart in half,
And I'm sorry if I'm the first
To warn you about it.
Did you know
That if your lover cracks your ribs
Just right,
You can almost hear God softly saying
That he's sorry?
The bruises on my torso
And the "Get Well Soon" cards
That are arranged on my mantel
Are proof.
Next page