So sad in blue skies.

I remember those green eyes.

So clear and calming.

Now replaced by dark red.

Now screaming.
For help and prayers

I wont bleed till’ you bleed.

Won’t sing till’ you scream.

Until your dead and I can sleep.

I don’t care if I cry.

I don’t care if I pray.

I don’t care if I die.

All I know is that you never tried.

Again.
Ditched to the side.

He plays around.
Watching in the front lines.

But this is the last time.

I'm tired.
I'm sleepless.
I'm sick.

I'm done.

I am not a toy.
I am nothing but a lady.

A lady who had bad luck.

His dark complexion, phases her delight in many matters.
His chocolate eyes, seemingly melt in to the girls confused stare.
His broad arms, make her melt.
His strength, frighten her.
His smile, seems wicked; but so soothing.
His voice, chimes in to this oblivious girl.

Me...

What's the care but the hatred I felt as I fell into him?
But I'm holding on.
Crying, weeping... Same thing?
HE still pulled me into his arms.
Hold my hand, Squeezing it to pieces.
Like his temper taking him.
*What did I do?

If I have to get over you..
I have too forget about you.

And...

Our smiles.
Our laughs.

And...

Our tears.
Our fears.

But that's what I have too do...

Just to forget about you...
But I can't.

No matter how much pain and regret I have.
I am still in this untwining bind.
The string attached, the chains holding me down.

Your a big part of who I am.
In the present and hopefully my future.

Your the fog in my eyes, the sight I have.
My heart was pure, but your welcoming blackness took over.
Your the voice in my mind, controlling what I think.

Just know I'm on my brink.

Blood.
Red.
Murky.
Lovely.
All these words of truth are bound.
Just like the chains on my neck.
They keep me home bound.

Brother, why can't I breathe?
Why am I falling?
Why am I bleeding?
...
Brother.
Save me.
~^~

Sister, take it easy for me.
Just take my hand, I am right here.
Come and bleed with me.
...
Sister.
Forgive me.

Can't you hear me?

Pleading for this unknown word help.

Am I just not good enough for you hurtful ways anymore?

This love and pain that I give this not enough to endure?

This pain.

This lust.

It's just...

Why can you not speak?

This little red tear that streaks.

It seems to seep into my horrid dreams.

Am I dying, or just painfully crying?

I don't want to die.

Although.

Should I try?

Veteran of the darkness.
Ready to confess.
Did you see my heart break?
Can you see my body shake?
Do you see me levitate?
Levitate from you?

Creatures that like to creep.
The lonely tears that I weep.
Just why can't you save me?
Your the love that I need!

I had a chance of a happy fate.
Till death showed up in my face.

This necklace that I hang from.
Is tightening its grip on me.
The gold cutting into me.
My blood drips on the floor.

I take these pills to rescue me.
How many should I take?
Ten, or the whole **** thing?!

Now that I've confessed.
Will you just take my hand?
Just pull me into you.
Just tell me that I'm needed.
Tell them I'm important.
Just tell me that you love me....

Veteran of the darkness.
Willing to confess.
Did you see my heart break?
Can you see my body shake?
Do you see me levitate?
Levitate from you.

Creatures that like to creep.
The lonely tears that I weep.
Just why can't you save me?
Your the love that I need!

I had a chance of a happy fate.
Till death showed up in my face.

This necklace that I hang from.
Is tightening its grip on me.
The is gold cutting into me.
My blood drips on the floor.
I see you at the door.

I take these pills to rescue me.
How many should I take?
Ten, or the whole **** thing?!

Now that I've confessed.
Will you just take my hand?
Just pull me into you.
Just tell me that I'm needed.
Tell them I'm important.
Just tell me that you love me….
I need to feel loved.
Like the way you love her.

But no.
You take her hand and hold it tightly.
You pull her into you and hold her tightly.
You tell her that she is important..
You tell her you love her.

And now my chest heaves.
As this knife takes me.
As these creatures eat me.
As the gold cuts me.
As my body shake, my heart breaks.
As I levitate.
As I cry.

Without you…
WIthout my soul…
Without your warmth…
Without both of our souls…

Now you can hear my glass heart breaking.
My hands shake harder.
As my body shakes harsher.
Im levitating higher.
My legs dangling in the air.

Because I am a veteran.
And I was willing to confess.

Veteran of the darkness.
Willing to confess.
Did you see my heart break?
Can you see my body shake?
Do you see me levitate?
Levitate from you.

Creatures that like to creep.
The lonely tears that I weep.
Just why can't you save me?
Your the love that I need!

I had a chance of a happy fate.
Till death showed up in my face.

This necklace that I hang from.
Is tightening its grip on me.
The is gold cutting into me.
My blood drips on the floor.
I see you at the door.

I take these pills to rescue me.
How many should I take?
Ten, or the whole **** thing?!

Now that I've confessed.
Will you just take my hand?
Just pull me into you.
Just tell me that I'm needed.
Tell them I'm important.
Just tell me that you love me….
I need too feel loved.
Like the way you love her.

But no.
You take her hand and hold it tightly.
You pull her into you and hold her.
You tell her that she is important..
You tell -her- you love her.

And now my chest heaves.
As this knife takes me.
As these creatures eat me.
As the gold cuts me.
As my body shake, my heart breaks.
As I levitate.
As I cry.

Without you…
WIthout my soul…
Without your warmth…
Without both of our saints…

Now you can hear my glass heart breaking.
My hands buzz harder.
As my body shakes harsher.
Im levitating higher.

My legs dangling in the air.

Because I am a veteran.
And I was willing to confess.
Of all the things I have said.
All these sins are true.
But now my life is overdue.

Leaving you and her alone forever.
My mind; severely corrupted.
Now the tread is about to sever.

It breaks; falling to my demise.

Im dying because I told you the truth.
But only if you can save me…

Fly little bird.
Fly with my blood on your wing.
That sharp wing that cuts my wrist.
You revisit my wrist when good things don't come my way.
You take my pain away, and I await you for another day.
So little bird.
Fly away.

You know it ain't easy.
For my thoughts to mislead me.
There's no words to describe it.
In French or in English.
Because diamonds they fade.
And flowers they die.
And I'm telling you.
This pain just won't go away.
It has been pushing me out a ways.
It has been knocking' me out, babe.
Whenever your gonna leave me.
These feelings won't go away.
I keep thinking in a moment that.
Time will take the pain away.
But won't go away.

You want this perfect life.
All I see is a perfect lie.
So fed up.
With the flaws, the hicks.
It makes me sick.
Im slowly about to die.
Im slowly losing my own mind.
For ***** sake.
MY OWN LIFE IS AT STAKE!

Do you love my evil twisted mind?

Do you really want to mine?

You call me Little Dove

I just don't trust this love.

I have made many fears.

I have shed many tears.

My heart ****** torn.

Caused by deadly roses and thorns.

The love I grace, has gone with no trace.

Why have you gone my dove?

You have done everything to save me.

Now your gone with no trail,
I look with no prevail.

Where are you!?

I need you, but maybe you don't need me.
-.-

I am gone like the wind,
I will never return to your demented mind.

My heart is a rarity.

I want to save it.

You were just a waste of time.

Do you love my evil twisted mind?
Do you really want to mine?
You call me Little Dove
I just don't trust this love.
I have made many fears.
I have shed many tears.
My heart ****** torn.
Caused by deadly roses and thorns.
The love I grace, has gone with no trace.
Why have you gone my dove?
You have done everything to save me.
Now your gone with no trail,
I look with no prevail.
Where are you!?
I need you, but maybe you don't need me.
So now I am gone like the wind,
I will never return to your demented mind.
My heart is a rarity.
I finally understand.
I want to save it.
You were just a waste of time.
Nothing more but I glass shard in my chest.
Easy to pull out, hard to ignore the pain.
Although I will miss you.
Nothing can change this pained little girl.
I love you yet, hate all the same.

Your* blood spills on the floor.
I still hear you at my door.
Sins, knives, lust.
Never have seen you this dark.
Am I still your meadowlark?

Help me here.
Leave me there.
All you have to do is stare.
Help me through this winding maze.
But your still in such a gaze.

Grey fog covers my world.
But yet I still laugh and twirl..
I think its you.
You saved me from the world.
The hurt. The pain
Blood that paints.
Threats about me.
I ignore it finally.
Just because you saved me.

He did it again!

Selling my soul.
But life takes it toll.

On a young woman, such as I.

But time flies by.
So its do or die.

From the words you sang...
From the hearts you break...

Nothing we can do.

Well...
Nothing I can do...

So I let him do it again...

I as well may tell you..
I love you.
Not just as a friend but something more.
You don't feel the same way, that I know.
I help you with your bad days.
You do the same.
I love how your always looking forward.
I have liked you for a long time.
That you do know.
Behind all that happiness, I see sadness.
I see your cries for help, your strong.
You have treated me ever so kindly
I thank you for it.
I may not be your best friend,
but hell, I try too.
You speak your mind, that I can't do.
That day when I had lost you, I cried so hard.
So yeah, now you know.
That I love you.

I am sick of being pushed around and left behind.
I am sick of feeling like I don't matter.

I am sick of feeling like I am a bother when I voice my matters.

I am sick of feeling like I have to hide my problems when I am about to burst at the seams.

I am sick of being told it will happen, when I know no one will actually reach out and help me.

I am sick of being told everything will be okay, when I really see no change in anything no matter how hard I try.

I am sick of pretending to be someone I'm not.

I am sick of being something I don't want to be.

I am sick of being sick with something I can't get rid of.

I am sick of...dying.

I'm dying, and I have yet to tell anyone.

I am sick, of being scared.

I'm so very, very scared.

Just fading hurt me ever so badly….
It hurt me so kindly as well.
It made me die.
So peacefully, so harshly.
You whisper you love me.
You whisper you hate me.
Holding onto what I'm feeling.
Thickening the air I'm breathing.
Blood written in blood.
Saints written by saints.
Fade.
Stay away.

Love has no meaning without your hands on my body.
Your perfect lips kissing me all over.
Your body on mine, weighting me down.
Together breathing harshly.
Moaning in loves bliss.
Me, always wanting more then I should want too.  
Just being ourselves in between thin sheets.

How could just one chance change me, into this monster that I now call myself?

My demented mind hungers for that same moment all the time.
But it's hunger over takes me, making me crash.
Making me fall for you again.
I just can't win this war that I have created.
This heart that I call home is now gone.
Tied down and beaten over and over every time I think of you.

Quietly I cry for you every night, wanting you to hold on to me telling me it will be okay.
Telling me a story or singing me a little lullaby.
Just making me feel a little safe from my ****** life.

I soon see other people...
Every time I see the other persons face think of you.

Your dark hair, your dark brown eyes.
Those perfect lips.
But soon I realize that's it's just a playful trick in my mind.
It hurts though, how I want you but can't have you.

I am sick of dreaming of how we meet.
It's plays in my mind over multiple times while in slumber.
It's driving me insane, making me crazy...
More and more everyday.

I JUST WANT IT TO STOP!!!

Please make it stop...

All these letters I had written for you.
I have written all of them.
Maybe bleed a few.

You wonder why I cry.
You wonder why I shake.
You don’t understand the dark words I make.

Life gets harder when you love nothing else.

So I cut a little smile; from ear to ear.
Give a little fake one, to make it look real.

People call me crazy as like I am the sin.
So you gave me a name.
“Little Harley Quinn”

And soon I called him mine.
“My Little Joker Boy”

And my feelings got deeper.
My body feeling freer.

Life became easy.
With the words that you sang.

So I smiled for real.
Letting my body heal.

Life gets harder when you love someone else.

Things soon ended.
My pain returned.

Because our little song had to be burned...

Searching through his bloodied clothes.
Searching for what is left.
Nothing.
With the rage, I cut into his chest.
I want his heart, for safety and comfort.
I want it for others but I shall never reveal them now.
I love very bit of this heart.
You say I am a beast?
Look at you, I know you have done sins.
I am a dark being.
I love the screams and moans of pain and death.
I just don't know what happened to that little girl you had once seen.
Laughing, playing...
Now crying and imbalanced.
I have made a doll.
Just like him.
He talkes to me.
Calls me "Little Dove"
At night 'he' comes alive and kisses me with those sharp teeth.
That wretched smile drives me insane.
His a demon, bursting out if my chest.
Putting his dollish hand on my pale white cheek.
Killing me with his poisoned kiss.
In love and dead forever.

Searching through his bloodied clothes.

Searching for what is left.

Nothing.

With the rage, I cut into his chest.

I want his heart, for safety and comfort.

I rip it out and cradle it

I want it for others but I shall never reveal them now.

I love very bit of this heart.

You say I am a beast?

Look at you, I know you have done sins.

I am a dark being.

I love the screams and moans of pain and death.

I just don't know what happened to that little girl you had once seen.

Laughing, playing...

Now crying and imbalanced.

I have made a doll.

It has the heart that I cradled

It looks just like him.

He talks to me.

Calls me "Little Dove"

At night 'he' comes alive and kisses me with those sharp teeth.

That wretched smile drives me insane.

His a demon, bursting out if my chest.

Putting his  ****** doll like hand on my pale white cheek.

Killing me with his poisoned kiss.

I am paralyzed in time.

I love him ever so.

He says to me that me can make me a world of blood.

He makes me dream of haunted things.

Wounds, stitches, knives and more lovely.

Blood...

I am happy that he can make my world come true.

I love that I am crazy, because he makes me feel better.

I love you, demon of my dreams.

Searching through his bloodied clothes.
Searching for what is left.
Nothing.
With the rage, I cut into his chest.
I want his heart, for safety and comfort.
I rip it out and cradle it
I want it for others but I shall never reveal them now.
I love very bit of this heart.
You say I am a beast?
Look at you, I know you have done sins.
I am a dark being.
I love the screams and moans of pain and lust.
I just don't know what happened to that little girl you had once seen.
Laughing, playing...
Now crying and imbalanced.
I have made a doll.
It has the heart that I cradled.
It looks just like him.
He talks to me.
Calls me "Little Dove"
At night 'he' comes alive and kisses me with those sharp teeth.
Killing me with his poisoned kiss.
That wretched smile drives me insane.
His a demon, bursting out if my chest.
Putting his  ****** doll like hand on my pale white cheek.
I am paralyzed in time.
I love him ever so.
He says to me that me can make me a world of blood.
He makes me dream of haunted things.
Wounds, stitches, knives and more lovely,
Blood...
I am happy that he can make my world come true.
I love that I am crazy, because he makes me feel better.
I love you, demon of my dreams.
...
He has left me.
Without no warning,
just left me in this tattered white dress stained with our blood.
He said he will come back.
He never returned.
I still hear his demotic voice at night yearning for his kiss.
Wanting to feel his warm body against mine.
Feeling his doll-ish hand caressing my body.
I awaken to a ear wrenching noise.
I found him dying on the ground
He said he loved this dark and ****** side of me,
and to let go of this love that we had.
I went to the window and started sobbing.
Harder and harder.
No tears slid down my face.
I saw what he was dying for.
He had made me my world of hurt.
I love you Abaddon.
Thank you for loving me.

Searching through her bloodied clothes.
Searching for what is left.
Nothing.
With the rage, I cut into her chest.
I want her heart, for safety and comfort.
I rip it out and cradle it.
I want it for others but I shall never reveal them now.
I love very bit of this heart.
You say I am a beast?
Look at you, I know you have done sins.
I am a dark being.
I love the screams and moans of pain and lust.
I just don't know what happened to that beautiful girl you had once seen.
Laughing, playing...
Now wicked and imbalanced.
I have made a doll.
It has the heart that I cradled.
It looks just like her.
She talks to me.
Calls me "Little Dove"
At night 'she' comes alive and kisses me with those sharp teeth.
Killing me with her poisoned kiss.
That wretched smile drives me insane.
She is a demon, bursting out if my chest.
Putting her ****** doll like hand on my pale white cheek.
I am paralyzed in time.
I love her ever so.
She says to me that me can make me a world of blood.
She makes me dream of haunted things.
Wounds, stitches, knives and more lovely,
Blood...
I am happy that she can make my world come true.
I love that I am crazy, because she makes me feel better.
I love you, demon of my dreams.
...
She has left me.
Without no warning,
just left me in this tattered white dress stained with our blood.
She said she will come back.
She never returned.
I still hear her demotic voice at night, yearning for her kiss.
Wanting to feel her warm body against mine.
Feeling her doll-ish hand caressing my body.
I awaken to a ear wrenching noise.
I found her dying on the ground.
She said she loved this dark and ****** side of me,
and to let go of this love that we had.
I went to the window and started sobbing.
Harder and harder.
No tears slid down my face.
I saw what she was dying for.
She had made me my world of hurt.
I love you Abaddon.
Thank you for loving me.

Underneath the mask.
Hidden and unseen.
She puts a mask on for all too see.
But she hides the truth.
Why does she?
Always makes me wonder, for what has she seen?
Haven't gotten to know the truth.
This beauty, so pristine.
Even more beautiful without her mask.
A beauty she may never see.

I.

Lost something of importance.
He took it in the back of his car.

I felt him inside me,it felt so right.
His face showed pleasure and pain all at the same.

Did my porcelain face look so pained?

It was spontaneous.

So soft.
So gentle.
And yet.
He was so mad and rough.

I look to his face again and see his anger rising.

He slowly put his hands around my neck.
His hands so cold.

I, moaning.

His grip tightens and soon all I see is black...

And that was a Monday night.

Letting go.
Moving on.
Staying strong.

My soul is bleak.
My heart is weak.
Did you forget about me?

When you had seen me lying on the ground with a stone cold heart.
Just trying to get away from you.
I didn't want you to see me.
With red warm tears striking my scarred face.
You come towards me.
You wipe my tears, they stain your hands.
I scream.
I realize your arms are wrapped around me, holding me tightly.
Color fades in both our eyes.
Life surrounded by black and white.
Wanting to see again.
I kissed my unwanted savior.
It became more clear.
Color now flooding back into vision.
I now understand..
A light broke our bitter sweet  moment.
I cry as I kneel to a dead rose.
Picking up fallen memories, broken tears and shattered hearts.
I try to fix all of the pieces I have left behind.
All theres left is...
Blood, Tears and me.
And you just there.
You always have and always will.

I have cried.
I have cried.

Just like you.
Just like you.

For how long?
For how long?

Must I bleed, when I know your watching.

I know there's something wrong.

Your concrete heart isn't beating.
And you've tried to.
Make it come alive.
For me.
But we both know will not work.

The shadows.
Red lights.
Now your here to rescue me.

No!

Oh I'm not alive.
I'm losing life.

You can't apologize for what I know.

Oh I'm not alive.
I'm not alive
I can not apologize.

So silent.
The violence.
Inside my head.
So loud and clear.

You're screaming.
You're screaming.

Covered up with a smile I've learned to fear.

No sunshine.
And dark skies.
Is this all we get for living here?

Come fire.
Come fire.

Let it burn and love come racing through!

Oh I'm not alive.
I'm not alive.
You can not apologize, for what I know.

I'm not alive.
I'm not alive.

I cannot apologize, no...

I've learned to lose.
I've learned to win.
You turned my face with the wind.
This is what I get for what I lose to you.

I will move fast.
I will move slow.
Take me where I have to go.

Oh I'm not alive.
I'm not alive.
I cannot apologize, no.

Demons of angels, with wings to spread to fly away from everything and death.
With both I want.

Demons of praise, with friends with out end.
Something I need.

Demons of grace, such balance and agreement.
Something I pray for.

My word is my grave, my love, my saving prayer.
No one notices how important my words are.

Still me, my words and I.

But if I were to say "hurt is another word for love." I cant help but think its wrong.

And I still lay my twisted mind on a stone white table...

Demons of angels, with wings to spread to fly away from everything and death.
With both I want.

Demons of praise, with friends with out end.
Something I need.

Demons of grace, such balance and agreement.
Something I pray for.

My word is my grave, my love, my saving prayer.
No one notices how important my words are.

Still me, my words and I.

But if I were to say "hurt is another word for love." I cant help but think its wrong.

And I still lay my twisted mind on a stone white table...

I look forward to the night.
Nothing wrong, nothing real inside.

You look at me with grieving might.
WIth our blood on our bodies.

Together.

Both of our knives inside us.
Our love is tough.
Sweet lust and cuts.

Blood spills on pages of poem and love letters
To a different man.
That I once killed...

When I look into you.
I already knew.

I still look at photos the of you.
Us playing and laughing.
Like nothing could go wrong.

But.
On a sad and dark day already.
I heard about her.

I cried and wished it wasn't true.

I wanted to die.
I cried and cried.
Like a baby with no smile.

When I stop shaking and shivering.
I burned the photos.

Because I already knew.
The pictures of you.
Were never true.

Raven, weep not.
Your time has yet to come.
Your screams make children flee.
And women scream.
You make men quiver in fear of disease.

Searching through her bloodied clothes.
Searching for what is left.
Nothing.
****...

With this rage, I cut into her chest.
I want her heart, for safety and comfort.
I rip it out and cradle it.
I want it for others but I shall never reveal them now.
I love very bit of this heart.

You say I am a beast?
Something so cruel?
You all made me this way.
Look at you, I know you have done sins.

I am a dark being.
I love the screams and moans of pain and lust.

I just don't know what happened.
To that beautiful girl you had once seen.
Laughing, playing...
Now wicked and imbalanced.

I have made a doll.
It has the heart that I cradled.
Stuffed inside like a body in a bag.
It looks just like her.

She talks to me.
Calls me "Little Dove".
At night 'she' comes alive and kisses me with those sharp teeth.
Killing me with her poisoned kiss.
That wretched smile drives me insane.

She is a demon, bursting out if my chest.
Putting her ****** doll like hand on my pale white cheek.
I am paralyzed in time.
I love her ever so.
She says to me that me can make me a world of blood.
She makes me dream of haunted things.
Wounds, stitches, knives and more lovely,
Blood...

I am happy that she can make my world come true.
I love that I am crazy, because she makes me feel better.
I love you, my demon.
Sweet, sweet demon.
~
She has left me.
Had I loved her too much?
Without no warning.
Left me all tattered.
White dress stained with our blood.
Will she ever return?

She never returned.
I still hear her demotic voice at night, yearning for her kiss.
Wanting to feel her warm body against mine.
Feeling her doll-like hand caressing my body.

I awaken to a ear wrenching noise.
I found her dying on the ground.
She said she loved this dark and ****** side of me,
and to let go of this love that we had.

A door of shadow had appear like a carry-on.
So dark, so pretty.
I opened it and saw beauty.
No tears slid down my face.
I saw what she was dying for.
She had made me my world of hurt.

Me.
All of me.
Apart of something so powerful.
Although I do no t have the strength to do anything.
Not one thing.
I just fall in this cloud of black.
Covered and unseen.
It covers the only beauty in me.
I am just like glass.
It is ever so easy to shatter me.
The devil, is here and there.
But never really here.
Never right next to me.
  Never lulling me to sleep.
Never kissing me with his sharp teeth.
He calls me his Darling Sin
But I do not believe it, not a chance.
I do not want to be his Darling Sin.

His car.
In someone's drive way.

The backseats.
Our bodies so close together.
On top of me.

His hands traces my sides, my body.
His cold hands making my body shake.
Our mouths locked.
Our shirts thrown about in  his car.

His lips move down to my neck.
My moans fill the car.
Why is he teasing me...

He stops.
Gets off.
And we drive home.
On a perfect Saturday night...

Blood by the statue, cold and dead.
Drug by the demon, my demise they have lead.
My heart has bled too and through.
I just don't know what to do.
Like me, love me, do what you need.
Dead bodies bleed in the streets.
I will consume your soul.
It has taken it toll.
I am the devils child.
A fortunate mistake.
Dementing things fuel my lust.
Whips, chain, gags.
Trust...
Do you know where my heart has been?