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sechita Feb 2018
When you told me you loved me
I imagined a gentle love
I imagined a happy love, a normal love
Where you would hold my hand and tell me everything would be okay
I saw nights wrapped up underneath you
And kisses placed softly on my forehead
My tongue in your mouth
The hallelujah of our bodies spilling over each other
Mornings would be my favorite
Even if I wasn’t a morning person
I would be one if it meant having our bodies entangled
I imagined love that didn’t die
I saw you old and grey and toothless
But it didn’t scare me
In fact, I wished I could’ve jumped to being old with you
I wanted to grow old with you
To see our frail bodies still spilling over each other
When you told me you loved me I saw stars
The sun was ten times brighter and it was midnight
I could hear the ghosts of my ex-lovers telling me they loved me
And I prayed to a God that I didn’t believe in
That you wouldn’t be a ghoul of my past
But God never answers my calls
God likes to let me talk to His voicemail
When you told me you loved me
I stopped breathing
My mind telling my mouth to stay silent
But my mouth breathed out that I loved you
With a crack in my voice
And a tear at the brim of my eye
Threatening to spill over
Daring my mouth to open again
When you told me you loved me
I didn’t know you would mould it into a noose
And place it around my neck
  Jan 2018 sechita
Charles Bukowski
little dark girl with
kind eyes
when it comes time to
use the knife
I won't flinch and
i won't blame
you,
as I drive along the shore alone
as the palms wave,
the ugly heavy palms,
as the living does not arrive
as the dead do not leave,
i won't blame you,
instead
i will remember the kisses
our lips raw with love
and how you gave me
everything you had
and how I
offered you what was left of
me,
and I will remember your small room
the feel of you
the light in the window
your records
your books
our morning coffee
our noons our nights
our bodies spilled together
sleeping
the tiny flowing currents
immediate and forever
your leg my leg
your arm my arm
your smile and the warmth
of you
who made me laugh
again.
little dark girl with kind eyes
you have no
knife. the knife is
mine and i won't use it
yet.
  Jan 2018 sechita
tm
melanin molasses, the sweetest courtship attracts the ones who have never glittered
white bullets love to kiss black skin
black on black crucificton, a gospel orchestrated by the higher powers
****** puddles lay with the concrete during the darkest hours
night bullets play white doves during the matrimony of the bottom barrels life and its fast stint.
honeymoon candles lit by the masters matches, africans seek this artificial light in times where heavens white lights could greet them with a smile and roses that are wilted.

- t.m
sechita Jan 2018
I loved a boy who tasted like cigarettes
And would hit me so hard I could taste the blood in my mouth for weeks
He told me he loved me
Promised me he loved me
But he had to make sure I knew my place
He needed to know I understood that I was beneath him
I needed to understand that a woman’s mouth was solely made for two things:
To respond and to please

I loved a boy who wreaked of alcohol
And left me black and blue as the midnight sky
I was stubborn
I couldn’t understand being beneath him
I didn’t want to understand appeasing him
I couldn’t grasp the concept of only speaking when I was spoken to
The cigarette smoke was clouding his judgment
The alcohol was allowing him to drown in a fantasy that would never be

I loved a boy who loved the thought of a broken girl
But I was a loaded gun
And he wanted all my bullets emptied out of me

— The End —