never trust
the boy who says
he loves you

never trust
the green eyes
or the wicked lips

never trust
your own heart
because it doesn't know ****

but you will believe him
and you will fall hard
and you will get hurt

I don't want to desire
waking up next to you
with limp limbs
and ruffled hair.

I don't want to daydream
about that chipped tooth
that appears when you smile
or when you say my name.

I don't want to play pretend
and imagine our lives
intertwined when we are 38
but still acting 17.

It's true.
I don't want any of these things.

I need them.

I need you to
fill my body
like the oxygen
in my lungs.

I need you to
hold me tighter
to you than
gravity to earth.

I need you to
read this and
see that you
need me too.

I tried to write a poem
about your lips.
The way they curve, swell, and smash
like the waves on the Texas coast
we always talk about,
but haven't seen.

Or maybe about your eyes
that aren't just green
but a lively emerald
like the lily leaves
in the stained glass windows
of my church you won't go in.

Or maybe about your hands.
Rough, strong, and calloused
like mountains, yet,
run over me like a river
swirling and smooth
into the depths.

But somehow,
I can't bring myself
to write about any of those
because like the lead in this pencil
or your terrible memory,
all things fade away.

Bird perched on a vein
Pumping, pulsing
Talons on my pain

Beating sets the stage
Fluttering, flying
Against its cage

Away, it may try
Fighting, crying
But unable to fly

I like talking to you about the weather
because you are far enough away
for it to always be different
from me,
yet close enough so that
what was once yours,
slowly becomes mine.

You want someone
to write sad poems
about you as they
wait all alone.

But she is not here.
She doesn't have time
to write about you.
She's too busy fighting fear.

So wait at my door
or wait at my grave.
I wait for no one.
Not even a word more.

Trace the veins on your arm
Because they lead to your heart.

We don't know what the future holds,
So in the meantime,
We will hold eachother.

Read the autobiography on your eyelids
As you sleep beneath the moon.
In the night, I can finally see you.

Our past had a hold on us.
Clammy hands yearning for throats.
Intertwine fingers and I will kiss you back.

If the world ends in fire and flames,
All our smoke will be the same.

Spark the neurons in my brain
and they travel down my spinal cord
until they pierce my heart and I
bleed
bleed
bleed
while you
drink
drink
drink
until you are red with wine.

Renewed by every part of my soul
you prowl around stalking new prey.
When we touched, I would forget
which limb was mine
and which was yours
and as I looked at the big picture
you could only see mismatched puzzle pieces
and now I have suffocated.  
He doesn't know that when he breathes,
he breathes life into me.

I have been extinguished.

Things that make us better.
Rule #1: Wait for nothing.
Love the earth
and
Love your blood.
Be Fearless.
Be your own Beautiful.
Be Good or Bad
because what is great for you,
is great for us.
My advice: Be a Black Sheep
and Embrace things you don't know.
Every New Life begins with a confident smile.
You are more than a pretty face.
The young are at risk,
protect yourself.
Every day Matters.
Call your talent 'mine.'
Only the brave can
hold the world.

Within the heat
of the midst of July,
the stars could hear
a mournful cry.

The sun let out
a sorrowful sigh.
Day was ending
in the midst of July.

The clouds hid the moon
as it closed an eye.
He hid all alone
in the darkness of July.

The moon longed for the light.
The sun wished for the dark sky.
They could never be together,
apart from the mid-evenings of July.

I was in love with the night.
The moon and the stars
made darkness bright.
I cannot escape
my thoughts clouding
my foggy mental state

Because of you, I hate the night.
You should have been named insomnia;
the disease that ruined my life.

It's been too long
since I've felt your skin.
Arms that held me,
that were so strong,
were what ruined me.
The way they hit
and turned me blue
taught me to see.
It haunts me at night,
the misery of my heart.
The way I miss those arms.
I pray to lose my sight.

pupils dilate
when i look at you
bumps on skin
from a chill
i never saw coming

the fist in my heart throbs
and pains my chest
i would tear it out
as a gift for you
blood dripping in a mess

the love in my veins pumps only for you
my body waits to watch what you do

You could have sliced my skin.
Peeled it back and eaten my heart.
Raw.
You could have shattered my bones.
Until each one cracked in half.
Snap.
You could have voiced your distaste.
Called me every name in the book.
Poison.

But even worse,
you didn't do anything.

You run in my brain.
Footsteps on rugs.
Prints on a window pane.

Knock over the vase
and with a crash
disturb the place.

I wish you would leave
but that would mean
leaving me.

You've already made a home.
In my mind, with you,
I don't feel so alone.

But it could be nice
to wake up and see your eyes.
To breathe in the same air.
Run fingers through hair.

To awake at dawn
and watch your
chest rise and fall
like the tide.

But it could be nice
to watch darkening skies.
A simple kiss goodnight
could feel oh so right.

To fall asleep last
as I watch your
eyelids flutter
and your heart
slow down.

People are
                  lonely
       and the world is
sad.
It makes others
                          crazy.
        My inner self
glad.

Why is it so
                    hard
          to find one
being
to whom I can
                         console?
            A heart where I
belong.

A call for
               light.
         Nothing in the
dark.
          Reaching and leaving no
mark.

A lonely
              soul
         yet a heart of
gold.

He tastes like
stale cigarette
smoke and lust.
He says
he likes me.
He swears
to call.
A kiss on
the neck
that burns
skin raw.

Tongue clenches sour.
Hands that shook.
Hair splitting evil.
Sin with a look.

It's funny to see how I change.
A stab in the dark.
A flash of pain.
What I am versus
who I was
rage inside me.

Who has won?

I did not die.
I am in the wind.
Breathe me in,
fill your lungs.
Release me to the sky.

I did not die.
I am here.
Feel my touch.
It is for you.
Give me a try.

I did not die.
For I was never alive.

You are not the breath I breathe
or
the water that touches my lips.
You are not my wake up call
or
my goodnight kiss.

You are the heart in my chest
and
the beats beneath my skin.
You are what gives me life
and
a new place to begin.

A splash of black.
A hint of blue.
A smack here.
A lump, too.

Stuttering tongue,
bleeding lip.
A tear drops.
Get a grip.

One word
was all I said.
Stomp on toes
to get ahead.

"Goodbye"
was all you need
to hit and
make me bleed.

Outer scars may
show the fight,

but inner pain
is black as night.

I saw that book
you left on our desk.
My desk.
I could not open it.
Not even look.

I found those photos
we kept in our closet.
My closet.
I tore them apart.
Your head to your toes.

That letter you wrote me
in red marker that
bled from our tears.
My tears.
It's gone now.
Waste of a tree.

You signed it "Forever Yours"
It was not ours.
You were mine.
So I thought.  
No drop of water shall
ever touch these lonesome shores.

The sun kisses the mountains
from its peaks down to its toes.
Awaking in the morning,
it sets the skies aglow.
Many stars may dot the sky
but I know only one.
The one that shows the way
the lighting of the sun.
You guide my path
and teach me to grow
Stretching towards you
against the blue,
I suddenly start to know.
You are my mother
the sun in my sky
so bright against the blue.
You I will love
forever and ever
it will always be true.

I have noticed
each day
the ink splatters
staining my fingers.

They leave marks
in such a way
that kiss the paper
and probe the heart.

A stain whose blue
creates a deeper shade
for words to hide
a silent voice.

I long for my ink
to begin to stain yours.

You see the dots
and think of me.
You wash yet they stay
so you think of me.

The stains of my pen
have left you blue.
So you think of me,
and I'll think of you.

How can someone
so soft
prickle me
until I pop
like a balloon?
That final breath
leaving me
             Empty.

I swim in the spring
of crystal and blue.
Deeper and deeper,
I'm drowning in you.
Searching and searching,
I reach for your hand.
But you watch me
from the safety of land.

The feeling of flesh
Skin against skin
Your breath
sends a tickle
up my spine
creating bumps
that are rough

The feeling of flesh
Skin against skin
That touch
that makes my palms sweat
and heart race
Slick and smooth
and hot all over.

The feeling of flesh
Skin against skin.
Soft and raw
at the same time
The barrier between
It’s funny how my skin
feels the same as yours

My head is heavy
from thoughts of you.
My heart is drowned
in tears of blue.
My eyes are blind
from what is true.
My soul is gone
its been given to you.

You pull at my hair.
You pull at my teeth.
You spit at my back.
You say you care.

I give you my hair.
I give you my teeth.
I smile at your lies.
I tell you I care.

You wipe my tears.
You hold my hand.
You are yourself,
the source of my fears.

You cause my tears.
You pull at my arm.
I am not myself.
Take away your mirrors.

I can see the monster inside you.
It started small,
but you let it grow.
I would have said something,
but I didn't know.

I can see the monster inside you.
It is stronger now;
it has had time to feed.
You push all away
but I know you're in need

I can see the monster inside you.
It is all i see.
It fills my eyes
and tears me apart.
Love came to save,
but the monster had
     eaten
          your
               heart.

A setting sun,
a bead of light,
a gentle reminder
of the coming night.
The world is asleep
but my mind wont stop
wandering to where you are.
Are you near?
Or are you far?

A rising sun,
a burst of light,
the coming day
a world so bright.
I did not sleep
so I cannot wake.
I could not find you
in the night.
You were not searching.
Am i right?

She has a big forehead
He has a wide nose
She has six fingers
He has webbed toes

She is in love
And he is too
Blood is red
But water blue

They meet on a train
The sight is sweet
Her shiny forehead
And his duck feet

They may be different
But together they are the same
Dancing in the sun
Kissing in the rain

When two people are one
And together they are odd,
Some people will shun
But they will always love

The mind is just a wasteland
for the thoughts the heart deemed true.
The wrists are just escape routes,
from reality to you.

She couldn't believe
her life was a sin.
She was cast away,
like debris in the wind.

Looking for closure
but she got caught in the snare
Nobody believed her,
but everyone would stare

She was lost and alone
with nowhere to turn.
The light in the end
did nothing but burn.

So she hides and waits
like a tiger in the jungle.
Do not end up like her,
or your life will be a struggle.

i don't want to love you the way i do
but you are the only one I've ever had.
Because of you i have faith in humanity again
and if that's true, then why am i so sad?

i know it's hard for you to believe
and it's even harder for me to say,
but i wish you would just miss me the way i miss you
and i want to go to the past and make you stay,
but i can't.

They always say the teenage years are the hardest
and i never thought that they could be true.
but the moment i started believing in tragedy,
was the moment i met you

They say that beauty may come and go
but I have seen death and have no faith to show
that once we die it lasts forever
and that's what makes life so **** clever.
For one day we will all rise again
with a story in our hearts
and a pen in our hand.

She sailed away with her cargo of dreams
to the paradise of her mind.
Some called her creative,
and others crazy.
She claimed it was neither,
She called herself happy.

But she soon sailed on a sea of tears
in the world outside her mind.
She may be strong but her skin is thin
as she floats on a raft made of her own fears.
For the only time she can get away is when she lays in her bed,
with the stars above and the sea evaporating away,
she can finally be happy in the dreams of her head.

Miss Lucy Lou was a ghoul.
She dropped a clue which broke a rule,
she knew, she was dead, she was no fool.

She rose from her grave all stitched and bruised.
Her skin glowed white while her dress shown maroon.
She begged all who passed to look at the clue
from her death which had occurred too soon.

No one came to heed her call
for the clue which was her severed skull.
For Miss Lucy Lou thought someone would care
that she never wanted to pay life's fare.

For He set it up just like a dream
making sure to cut all the loose strings.
For He saw little Miss Lucy Lou
to be nothing more than a project or two.

He wrote her note; pinned it to her dress
and in a tree He hung his mess.
But no one cared that He was still loose,
running around with Miss Lucy Lou's noose.

So listen to little Miss Lucy Lou
who was only trying to give you a clue
She rose from her grave
But you will never know whose life she was trying to save.

Frost falls like a blanket on this winter day.
I wish for the sun to sit beside me,
so the loneliness would go away.
I wait for the ice to melt to water
and this ship to sail free.
But the anchor is rooted deep,
as I sit amidst this dark sea.

If it were up to me the world would melt.
All would drip away, into a pool of clay
And one sculpture would be crafted from all our dismay.

The rude and proud and the sweet and humble
would come together and make this world crumble.

The pieces would form something new,
a part of me
and a part of you.