i do not love you like simplicity is my end goal
under duress I might fall prey to convention, but here
my bliss is unencumbered; i look to you, and there are shadows
spaces to be overlooked and re-examined
little things too precious for a first glance

i do not love you in order to be loved
it isn’t in me,  to hope for exchange
a burden falls, but it isn’t hope
i do not carry wishes on my shoulders
i do not fall under the weight of expectation
if you were to love me, i would
be constantly surprised, even if you kissed me
a thousand times

if you reached for my hand,  i’d jolt
in happy astonishment
when our skin touched
even if my mind grew to know you as home

each touch
would set my heart staccato
each year would slip by
and i’d stare at my hands
wondering if i’d been the one charged to hold it

but:

if every time we spoke
the world faded, it would be no less than convention
i suspend disbelief when you laugh
sometimes your questions are darts through me
arrows of lost circumspection,
i do not love you to hold your heart in my palm

i would let more melancholy soak through me to
hold your ear for an hour without fear of faltering
i do not love you to give myself up

i love you like i could never say the words
only smile at you i know you know i know you know
i do
like a secret between the two of us
and everyone else i’ve ever told, unabashed
it’s not hard to see you and wish for potential to turn into kinetics
for you and me and this to move
it’s almost become routine
i put a foot forward and walk
i breathe in and back out
i reach for a real smile when i see you wrap arms around her waist
it’s simple
i love you because it makes things brighter

Anna,
the young lions won't want you
forever.

Eventually you are going to
get tired
of keeping it tight,
of batting your eyes,
of applying the gloss just right.

Anna,
what will you do when the invitation beds
come to an end?

Eventually the lions will settle,
while you gather cobweb and callus,
while you smoke cancer and wallow in cellulite.

Anna,
find a boy who makes you feel like the sun.

Ultimately,
he's the only one who can save your soul
from all the crimes you've done.

I put the baby in the stroller every week
so she can see her mother
not a body,
but a tree slowly growing above the headstone,
it's branches stretching and crackling in the breeze.
The baby looks at the tree and coos, because she can still smell
her perfume settled on the leaves,
the leaves that rustle
and barely cover her whispered laugh.
The first week it started raining, so I couldn't see her tears,
and she couldn't see mine,
rolling down, down, back to the earth.
I put this baby in the stroller every week
to visit her mother,
knowing she hasn't let her go.

I once new a boy
Who had eyes like summer.

They were the seductive blue
Of the condemning ocean.

His laugh was the sound
Of safety and warmth
Security and innocence.

His heart was a waterfall
That gave away understanding
And love.

And this boy,
With the Summer eyes
And waterfall core

Met a girl.

Who he thought,
Had eyes like bliss
And a core filled with optimism.

But she was an illusion.
Her picturesque smile
Was only a trick of the mind.

And her core
Was not filled with optimism,
But with the wings of broken butterflies,
And fragments of lost dreams.

And that fall, when he told her he loved her
She told him she loved him too
When in reality,
She had no form of any
Love to give

But even her,
The soul stolen girl
With eyes like a dying fire
Could not bear
To turn his summer eyes
Into those of winter

like a honeybee
i
flit and flirt
from
girl to girl
i
can't commit
easily forget
pain and sorrow
there's always tomorrow
abusing trust
it's just rust
look into the mirror
there's nothing dearer
i
have myself
who needs anyone else
toss away friends
there's always more
who cares if they're
hurt to the core
prince of pain
loves the rain
tears of grief
there's no relief
broken heart
pierced by dart
no need to care
or be fair
her heart is in tatters
but
i'm
all that matters

I am awesome as a possum
I am weird as a beard
Eve is my buddy
We are awesomuddy
Eve is a fool
But kinda cool
Dont worry Eve  
You are simply a Smeve

I am not in the business of being you
or him or her or they
we doesn't even really interest me.

you hated me within the first 20 minutes
like a shallow predator
experiencing virginal danger
you have the limbic system of a prey
obvious to anyone in touch with their senses.

you were threatened-
you cracked a joke and among
the robotic laughter and among
the generic thoughts
I stood back, blank-faced
a novel piece of art you haven't the ability
to muster up the courage to understand.

aloud, I said it wasn't funny
which I'm sure your emptiness already betrayed
in a booming, and terrifying fashion
(I'm an intellectual sadist-
I get off watching you squirm)
you know enough, that you have no basis
that the status quo is the stale stream you do nothing but soak in.

you're superficiality is so pervasive
that your thoughts are unfilled, plastic
discarded long ago by anyone with stamina
(you're a carbon-copy of a Xeroxed person)
looking the same as the others of your degenerate breed
with much less vibrancy than the original
and far less worth.

your boundaries have been in place for so long
passed down by
generations
of
generations
of
generations
great-great-granddaddy's barbed wire is the only thing protecting your prejudice.

you're not funny- you're scared
ashamed and lonesome.

ashamed of the person you wish you could be
but don't have the strength-or the guts
to morph into
lonesome because even yourself is someone you don't feel close to
you are so basically human.

I have no pity.
**for you are no Muse.

you're a really ****** friend
i became aware of it after everything started
to fall apart at the beginning of the ******* year ever,
2012, and after that,
you just kept getting
*******.
you think you have the whole world figured out
just because you
do yoga and
tour around Canada and
drive down to California and go on
meditation retreats and
play guitar

we used to be best friends and i know
that you wouldn't care if you never spoke to me again
not because you hate me, but because
you love me in a healthy, "unattached" way
(or so you say)
sorry but that's not love, that's pure indifference
and i read once that hatred is much closer to love
than indifference so
i don't really know
what to make of your
shittiness.

but every time i make an effort to contact you
i just feel like a fool
because i can't hide that i miss you,
i can't hide that i miss how
we used to be so close and how i used to feel
valued by you
you send me a "<3" and an xo and
then i don't hear from you for months and somehow
that's supposed to be enough.

you just are a really ****** friend and you
just keep
getting
*******.