i need to stop
setting myself on fire
to keep you warm.

I loved when you took care of me,
You gave me everything,
Now your gone and all I want is you
BLCostello©2022

Safe in my car,
I felt no fear,
Until I looked in the rearview mirror,
More frightening now,
No cars in the street,
A shadowy figure was in my back seat,
Strange,
I thought I was alone,
Apparently someone,
Was following home,
Without a response,
I blessed myself saying,
“My God is stronger than anyone else",
Suddenly, I felt no longer alone,
The reflection was gone, and I was at home

~
Dishevelled he stood, unable to speak,
from years of abuse in youthful upkeep
the years of admonishment had taken their toll
reduced to obsequious, lugubrious soul

the once-happy boy, unable to opine,
or quip in humour, save garble and whine,
decades would pass before he'd undo
and jettison the harm taken years to accrue

now he stood dumb, bewildered and slow,
top ziggurat of abuse, debilitating blow,
still, gentle flower, a gem unscratched,
as new-borne babe, chick freshly hatched

unprimed, unready, for onslaught of world,
the cruel schadenfreude, the evil unfurled,
the juggernaut of malevolence, of intemperate hurt
that would crush gentle flower, dissolve into dirt.

the music gets really loud
I say quieten down,
floating's not my style
but I don't want to drown,

the waves get too rough
The surface slips away,
limbs that've had enough
in the depths she longs to stay

A pandemic waning,
Laws are changing,
The world maybe going to war,
And I forgot my lunch today,
Could I miss my mother more?
I guess I should just, “**** it up",
And me without a straw,
No wonder I am so confused,
I am in a state of awe,
Childless and feeling old,
Soon...we’ll all be gone,
I don’t want to die!
Have I done something wrong?
I made it into work today,
That’s just what I do,
I am feeling very sensitive,
I wish I was with you,
But I will carry on
I will not succumb to defeat,
I think I am gonna make it,
I wish I had something to eat!
BLC©2022