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B-J Nov 20
I couldn't call you heartless
that's just inhumane
but maybe it'd suit you

you lack something
deep inside
you're hollow,

words like venom
words like fire
burn and itch my skin
the lies,

dark place
cold place
where a heart should stand
I see nothing
I feel nothing
just a black, empty space
B-J Mar 19
A piece of card. Just one a year, just one day a year. A day that signifies my birth. Something of great praise; but yet means so little, valueless. The plain, childish print, a basic grandmother to granddaughter birthday card. A hollow, faint slap as it hits the table. Weak and fragile, representing our bond. One card, one day a year, all I have and know of you.

It hasn’t moved far. From the occasional movement slightly left or a bit right, caused from gazing over the meaningless words in curiosity. But it’s been years since it’s left my room, and it’s old paper is now slowly breaking down, and fading away. I can’t picture my room without it, so for now, it’s not going anywhere. Still, even though I don’t care for it, or for you, I could not bring myself to throw away the only memory I have left. Your small, bold handwriting spells out my name. I try to hear your voice saying my name, but I can’t. The words are hollow to me, worthless. Spoken by anyone else, it could fill you up. But because they came from your mouth, someone who means nothing to me. They’re empty, pointless words.

What really makes me wonder, runs through my head, crossing every corner of my imagination, is the irony of the print on this particular birthday card. A magical, mythical beast prancing on the front. A childhood symbol of freedom and awe that catches and drags at a kids mind, representing magic and youth. Yet, you gave it to me. Whether you thought into it, or it was a random pick of hand. A last minute stop at the news agency closest to my house, the smell of newspapers and old vents forcing you to pick the first card that looks mildly appropriate for the occasion. A rushed and careless decision.

Or through my own negligence had I misjudged the entire situation. Have I become so sure that of how thought you had made me feel that it had become true, had it been misconceived all this time. I’ve convinced myself that you broke my heart, that you were the bad guy. It’s been so long now my mind struggles to paint the image of your face, your name is the only thing that remains within the twisted stories and confused family lines. You’re just a memory. Although it means nothing now, and will never mean anything, the story sticks with the card. It’ll always be a memory. A reminder of you. And for as long as I live, it’ll stay with me. Occasionally moving slightly left, or a bit to the right; from a curious kid, just trying to remember.
B-J Mar 19
I hold every little memory of us deep inside my heart
so I can relive every second of every kiss
every touch of your skin on mine
Of your eyes holding me frozen still
and your smile taking me so deep into your soul
I hold this so close to me because
baby I would go back in time
To every moment we had together
Just to feel my heart smile the way you make it smile again
  Sep 2018 B-J
Abby Reynolds
one night you asked me if I remembered what it was like to be in love with you
I laughed to myself because
how could I forget?
you standing there, hands in your pockets
the smile whenever you laid your eyes on me
the t-shirt you wore under your clothes, everyday,
because it was once your fathers
the scar behind your left ear
that appeared after fighting for your sister
How could I forget?
dancing barefoot on the cold kitchen tiles
laughing so hard we could feel it in our hearts
smoking in your car, blasting music
making future plans to run away
I knew then I had it all
I know now, forgetting will never be an option for us
How could I forget you?
I could've sworn you put the sun in the sky and the stars in my eyes
there's no forgetting a love like ours
B-J Sep 2018
its the feeling that draws me back in
every time
without a second thought
i find myself obsessed with you all over again
no matter how may times you break me
i'll always crawl back for the slightest bit of your affection
because im addicted to you
and im addicted to your love
B-J Aug 2018
A little hope
Can go a long way
But i’m done hoping
Because all my hope
Has been wasted
Chasing after things
I could never have
B-J Aug 2018
I'll tell you
i’m incapable of being loved
because in-fact
i don’t love myself
quite enough
to be loved
by you
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