from a boy of bliss
to a joy to miss
regret and shame
mixed with a name
the prices low but the chips high
the crisis shows but the lips lie
it'll be ok a deep pool of uncertainty
it'll be today a beep a toll of serenity
close your eyes and wait for closure
open your thighs and take the exposure
metaphoric and diabolic
feel it in and let it go
real it in and let them know
everyday it gets worse
everyday hoping for a hearse
god why have you given me this curse?
no way to express the feelings of doubt
no way to impress the dealings I shout
I hate this I want it to stop
I hate this I want it to stop
crack a bottle and reminisce
think about the times when it was all fixed
a picture now broken
inside a house now woken by ashes
trying to sleep the image clashes
choices in a blurred sight of abuse
the voices just tying the noose
breath, another drink
believe don't just sit and think
she didn't mean it she doesn't go
she could clean it and make it glow
15 years and still in sorrow
another drink and it will be tomorrow
of the things that happened I can never speak
tolerance this month is at its peak
drinking to drown the mental illness
shrinking to crown the intentional shrillness
you win take your lap
you sin just to clap
applaud the horrid things scaring a life while
abroad the morbid things caring for a lifestyle
I'm done no sense to ramble
wish it wasn't my life you **ed up with a gamble
© 2 minutes ago, bob   adult poems

no I can't write but I do it tonight to drown out these emotions that keep coming to light
trapped in my thoughts its always a fight
dark and confused locked out im always abused
not the accused but always the  liar
praying to god please lift me up higher
im not looking for drugs im not looking for ***
im just looking for hugs or someone to text
drowning in pain always feeling the shame
my emotions are nameless but always the same
stuck in my ways with nowhere to go
im ****** up a daze with nothing to show
please pull the trigger im ready to blow
one more down six more to know
i scream but its silent
i dream and its violent
no sleep here for this guy hes waving adios
sometimes i wish i could just be comatos
no more to feel no more to see
**** probably better if you ask me
almost near four she'll be home soon
numbing the pain creating a loom
she takes the hurt and makes it stop
so thankful i am to my knees i should drop
being alone isnt so tasteful
shaking at home its just so discraceful
fighting the urge and wanting to drink
instead i sit down and write as i think
not sure what i say or to who i know how
afterwards mentally i take a bow
letting it out in writing abroad
when she gets home i can sit down awed
feeling less and hoping more
i can do this i feel sure
just another day without a bottle
my mind going crazy near full throttle
soon it will end thanks to my wife
shes the reason i dont take my own life

fourteen days doesnt seem like much
at least not to someone whos never had the touch
never felt the pain of loss or surrenidy through  themselves not another
never delt the shame or inevidability threw themselves down without a mother
it hurts but theres a way to the end they tell you
it hurts but theres another day to spend and embell you
you dont need this you need to stop
you dont bleed this you need to stop
this isnt you it isnt who you are
just shut up and get in the car
another day hiding in the shadow knowing they see you hurt
no other way subsiding in the shallow glowing in the sea you burnt
another night another thought it'll stop it'll die
yeah another  travesty another lie
out again to chase the "dream" in the hours
in doubt again erase the dream im in dowers
slurring and swirving drowning in perfection
blurring the deserving and frowning at the reflection
abe to see it but not abe to know it is pain
sitting alone to remanice in the rain
i hurt her i couldve killed her
if it werent her i wouldve killed in a blur
shaking with the pain another drink down the hatch
quaking in shame another brink of the patch
yeah right another glimpse of the light i can get out
soon locked away with no way out
theres more i may never say
yeah fourteen days isnt much
fourteen days is no pride especially for somone who lied
fourteen days is where i am and its where i will be id like to think
i pray to "god" not to pick up another drink