It's a mess, chaos,
Jarring my head and forcing my eyes shut.

Thoughts ricochet through,
Spinning, repeating, making me dizzy and blind.

I'm a mess, my mind is chaos, my chaos is my life.

A maniac and a saint, what a mix hey?!

Hey!

Wait!

I've gone insane!

It makes no sense! It's spinning, everything,
I'm dizzy

I'm sorry, I don't really know who you are...
But I saw you yesterday, and well, I've been seeing you a lot these last week's,
But yesterday was different, you appeared really sad, I would have spoke to you. But the bus carried on passed.

It's all over and that's it.
You're dead.

But others aren't. They have to live with your decision.

What about the boy or girl who loves you? How would they feel?

What about your friends and family? Would you want them to cry?

Death isn't the end of everything. It blames you for all the hurt you will cause.

I don't want to see you hurt. I know you don't care for me, I'm fine with that. Just let me keep you safe.

Let me care for you, please.

Please stop hurting yourself.

What if I'm that boy who loves you?

Isn't it funny,
how we're both sat in different parts of the city, and looking at the same stars?

Isn't is beautiful, to think that the sky looks so pretty for me and you, and there's nothing I'd rather see than you?

The stars rise every night, but we don't always see them, we're either to busy or we're asleep or it's too cloudy.
But still we watch and we never give up on them.

Just like I'll never give up on you,
You're my supernova, my ending, the destruction of everything I've ever known. You're beautiful, destroyed but beautiful and still giving out light.

So I sit, here on my ledge, looking up at the stars, the second most beautiful thing in existence, and I picture you.
You're barely a mile away, but you may as well be a thousand.
But I'll never forget you, you never forget someone you love.

"why do you love me?"

"why do you love the stars?"

"they're pretty and make me happy"

"then you have your answer"

I'm not scared to die.

I'm not scared of pain.

I'm not scared of what can be used against me.

I'm not scared of you.

I am greater.

I am better.

I am more powerful.

I have nothing left to lose.

Do you ever look at the state of the world?
Like literally stop and look at it, the imminent threat of war, the turmoil of a nation, the collapse of an entire economy?
Do you see that and it scare you?
It scare you into thinking, this might actually be it, the world might be ending sooner rather than later, in a matter of weeks it could all be over?

Do you see these stories and think?
Think hell, this might be it, I'm gonna tell her I love her, this might be it, I'm never gonna live my dreams, this might be it, I'll never be the one.

I see the stories of war, and I'm scared.
I'm scared for those who live in the main countries of conflict,
for those who have seen a war and worry what will happen,
for the kids who'll see the stories on the news or over hear it,

I'm scared for those who are alone,
for those who'll never tell the person they dream about that they love them,
for those who can't say how they feel,

I'm scared, I love you, please don't let it happen.

A song that makes you cry

Have you ever pressed next on your playlist, only for the song to make you cry?

Have you ever listened to one of those songs and seen the person who you think about whilst listening to it?

I have. There are is a few songs that make me think of you. And I know I promised never to write another poem about you.

But I can't promise that.
Just like I can't promise to stop loving the memory of you.
Just like I can't promise to be happy as friends.

I can promise you one thing.
That's that I still love you.
And that whenever we are alone together, walking home, I can barely stop myself.

I can barely stop myself from stopping you.
From picking you up in a hug.
From kissing you like I should have.
From giving you the love you deserve.

I saw you the other day.

I cried.

I was listening to whatsername.

Forgetting you but not the time.

The things that are about to be
and those that never happen...
Nothing vanishes for
nothing appears
Laugh until you can
(because there is no laughter)
In the middle of the lake
there is no lake at all
no world
memory or
thought

(Me is whole in this place
though in this place there is no me
there is no such place in me)

Master meditates at a crack of dawn
while leaves fall from careless trees
Winter is on its way sliding through
images of reflective time

When student comes he knows better
than to wake up his master’s thoughts
He would like to ask:
“Master! What is Zen? What it means to be alive?”

Instead, watching the horizon painting
the blue waves green
He sits next to his master
and starts contemplating with him

I learned of life’s fragility
as I left home for

fourth-grade class
one May morning

to find boots with
a body attached

under our tall
juniper
tree.

The clocks keep tick-tocking
And i still can't stop thinking
For someone i've been missing
But he's go fading