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Our backs hold stories
Not even the spine
On a book can handle
stars do align
all in due time
Oh, I've been waiting
And imitating
All the ways I should've been

But now I've no idea
How to be a real person
But you're showing me
And I'm learning

Take me by the hand
And make me better
Show me how to stand
To make me better

Oh, I've been waiting
for a sign dictating
How to find my way back

But the map is old and faded
The roads look like rivers
Even ink can become jaded
After the compass' last quivers

Take me by the mouth
Did it make you better
Take away the doubt
To make me better

Oh, I been waiting
It's true. Waiting
For someone like you
I have nothing to say
I have nothing to say
No words to complain with
No complaints to give words to
I have no joy to be spoken
I have no wisdom to impart
I am a vessel half empty
I am a fish tank half full
There is nothing wrong now
And yet it doesn't feel right
Am I actually feeling anything
Am I happy
Am I sad
Am I lost in what I am
I have no passion
I have no goal
I can accomplish anything
I can accomplish nothing
These strings are ropes
Tie me down right
I am bound by conventions
That I was never told
Or at least never in a way
That could be understood
This is the future
Where everything is wrong
And everyone is right
And no one is listening
To the voice inside
Because their ears are filled
With screaming and fire
And hatred and selfishness
Even mine are burning
I am not immune
Welcome to hell
You had no choice in coming here
And by God we will guilt you
For even thinking of choosing
To take yourself out
And call you selfish
And bemoan your loss
And ask ourselves what we could have done
But we won't ask you
Before you make the choice
Because we don't care
We're rats
And this is our ghost ship
It might be sinking
It might be sunk
But ****** sure if you
Matter more than me
Or them or us or ideas or civility
We'll eat you alive
And then blame you
For not being strong enough
To hold back both the terror
And the flame
This place is empty
There's nothing good now
That is new
All we are is dancing
Shadows around the fire
No substance, no weight
Dark matter parallels
Encoded long-term
Pariah on the sunrise
And she got light to burn

Delicate on the rain
Floored by pointillisme
Beauty makes the sky
And she mirrors painted schisms

What metaxis to break
Like losing yourself on the lake
Light turned reflection
Subtlety belies perfection

Novae cry silent and awake
Shed the skin, dire
Could she dream, no better
Oh to hear that voiceless choir

Dance stars apart
Fickle child, wandered
Empty; her lungs
Fulfilled no longer

What metaxis to break
Like losing yourself on the lake
Light turned reflection
Subtlety belies perfection

To the end of everything
Summers over, dead Winter sings
No hope, no hope in these evergreens
Malevolence and whispered screams

Lose yourself
Lose yourself
It's nothing at all
But everything at heart

We're dancing among the stars
And we're on fire
Deep and alone
Waiting for the endless to expire
 Feb 2019 Chantell Wild
Perry
Garden
 Feb 2019 Chantell Wild
Perry
I will use your tears
to water my mind,
and grow you a poem
Anytime that you cry
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