you are five when you discover how much bigger the room becomes when your mother leaves your bedside at night, and ten when science still doesn't explain why. you grow up beside a puppy that cries at your disappearance and welcomes you home with fire-lit eyes every evening. at fifteen, you fall in love with the way shadows look when they're holding hands in the summer. and then, you meet a girl who laughs into silence and measures your smile with her tongue and are confused when she refuses to trail the clouds among your footsteps.

because not all of us grew up that way, thinking that the world was a hurricane that we needed to be anchored against, or a song wasn't complete without a countermelody to wrap around its rough edges. we sat around miniature globes and imagined how the constellations looked in venice. we drew minutes into hours on the backs of our hands, we became our own best thing thing. and each time the sun went down, we'd look past the shadows in the concrete and rejoice in the freedom entwined between our fingers where you were convinced her hands belonged.

Dig deep
No *****
Dig deep
Facade

Dig deep
Hidden
Dig deep
Forbidden

Dig deep
Treasure
Dig deep
Forgotten forever

three small words

the first time
i felt sick
could not believe
never heard before
never felt before
called you foolish
but only after
did i understand
your painful truth

people always leave

and so did you

You are telling me a story I remember
But I wouldn’t dream of stopping you

You are great at this
I am locked onto your lips
Even if I wasn’t
We've been locked inside for too long
We don’t interrupt like we used

       I wanna see what you’ll choose

To be honest
This
is what I’ve missed

Not the big stuff
Just the look on your face when
We’re thinking the same thing

                   It's more rare than you think
                                                                ­           Here’s your drink

Do I know you?
I know I love you
Most when you tell me something through the crowd
Talking too loud but speaking in code only I know

I’m so hiiiiiiigh on that ****                                                     

Your fingers print the back of my neck
Icy and immovable chains
                                  I can feel them now...
It’s a good thing you don’t know me better

We are sitting too close at the bar
The food comes and you sigh
Loudly, just to make me laugh
You’re just mad you can’t hold onto me

                   I’ve gotten that before, actually

I am slipping through the crowd now
Laughing hardest with people I’ll
Never see again, funny
I won’t pretend you’re different
Just laugh
                                                     Today, okay?

Let me make you happy while I have you
While this broken sidewalk is full up
And my best shoes are broken in my closet
And it's just you and I
I guess it’s e a s i e r like this

I still wonder about the strangers passing
Who will be more upset if I
Stick my foot out a bit further and slip
Right past this conversation
Just to hurry on my way
There’s like five of you
Spread over the sidewalk
s   l    i   m    e
When I pass I realize how much space in my mind I give you
Instead of using any for myself
Pity but hey
Hey hey I never said I was hot ****
I always knew I was unfulfilled
You just loved me anyway
And isn't that okay?
You called me the Sun but you kept looking  
Gave me room to come up and go down
I mean anyone would lay down if you asked them to
Just because I can rest doesn’t mean I can't move

Don’t make me the Sun if you’re the Moon