Bella-Lee

Bella-Lee Feb 2020

My life is unpredictable,
Its not something easily read.
It's like words scribbled on a page,
And songs stuck inside your head.

It entices me,
Hooks me in like a punch line.
And when everything going good,
It kicks in and everything is not fine.

Words stuck in my head,
Mummbled about.
Stuck on this page,
And constantly scribbling out.

Ideas,
Words,
Lover,
Colour.

Only to redraw the picture,
To then destroy it again.
So much effort wasted,
Just to find a friend.

We find things in life but still,
My life is random as ****.
These thing we find we lose again,
I think I'm just out of luck.

Bella-Lee Feb 2020

Wait

10 hours and still no text,
But I'll wait for you.
7 days and I still can't see you,
But I'll wait for you.
I'm ready for forever,
But still I'll wait for you.

I will wait for you,
In rain or shine.
I will wait for you,
To say that you're mine.

Bella-Lee Feb 2020

Scared of Happy

Scared of the happy,
Scared to be happy.
Scared are those lacking,
Scared are those unhappy.

Sacred are the happy,
Sacred is their happiness.
Even if they are scared,
I will find safety in my happiness.

Feb 2020

Salmabanu Hatim

My Fault

Yes,I was naive and innocent,
But, I was drunk on his kisses,
I was drunk with his touch,
I was drunk on his sweet tongue,
I was filled with desire,
So, I suppose I can't say he took advantage of me.
23/2/2020

Bella-Lee Feb 2020

Before 20

If I'm lucky,
I die before I'm 20.

I just need a couple things of the checklist:
1. Start drinking,
Check
2. Lose my virginity
Check
3. Drugs
Check
4. Europe - Particularly France
And I forgot the rest living in this trance.

See apart from this...
I want to change the world,
But I don't have to make a difference if I die.
And if I say I want to live,
Then am I not just living a lie?

If I live past 20,
I want to have kids.
A back up plan,
Or so I say.
That if I don't **** myself by then,
I have one last reason to live.

A friend texted me alot of this stuff. Like he has no purpose to life. It shocked me because he is wonderful. I don't see how he's so down but I understand myself and feel like sometimes I'd understand. I try so hard to stop him feeling like this but it just doesn't work. Inspired by my friend I wrote this, I'm not sure how poetic it is tho

Feb 2020

Ella

Tears and tears

Tears of the memories we made
Tears of the smiles that will fade
Tears of the forgotten and of the fierce
Please give me those years

Tears
And
Tears of ink: bleeding from my pen
Bleeding like blood
Of wondering when

Tears
And tears of rain
pouring from my window
and pouring from my pain.

Tears and
Tear Stains of water splattered
And stains of heartbreak you never thought mattered

Tears
And tears

Bleeding and washing and cleaning
Hopefully erasing those
Years and that meaning.

Tears
And tears.

Never fulfilling forgetting my fears

#tears #love #pain

Bella-Lee Feb 2020

Roll off

Words roll off,
My sweetened lips.
Like water off,
My finger tips.

Tears roll off,
My pale cheeks.
Like memories off,
My troubled mind.