Heart racing
Sweat dripping
Knowing this is the end
Don't expect
Nobody is listening
Blood leaking
The blind  is seeking
This world is hell
They wont help you
Can't you tell
At night you were yelling
You're the only one that can hear
The demons hovering over you
I know you were scared
I know you're tired
I can tell in your eyes
You're not fine
You can't even trust nobody
With all these back stabbers and lies
Looking like you're about to collapse
Pumping drugs in your veins
Hoping this day is your last
Going on your knees begging God for help
Of course our society doesn't know how “we” felt
I feel alone
All alone in the darkness
Locked up in my mind
I know I'll never be set free
It feels like God turned his back on me
Don't come in I'm slowly bleeding
Feeling drained , almost empty
Thinking about death is a good feeling
Nobody will never understand me
Nobody will ever care
But even if I die, death  I'll always fear
But its better then living
I know I'm the last person you would want to save
But it's so sad knowing people will change once i'm in my grave

write from the heart

I found a way to be happy
grab the knife
slide it across your wrist
until I'm empty inside and out
you say I don't need to do this
to stop
but theres no other way to live but to die
knowing your whole life was a lie
the knife isn't taking my life
the hatred of this world is

why do i feel like writing is the only proper
means of expression for myself?
why do i have trust issues?
i always need to look at people twice,
and still often because people themselves alter so much in a lifetime there is something new to be observed in them constantly
why does he keep coming back to me after all ive put him through?
the real reason...
why does he make my thoughts jump from admiration, to then love, to then thoughts of matrimony?
its a little odd honestly how i can come up with questions like these in a single moment.
but its what you wanted to hear.
you didnt want my pain and baggage to to be only on me
but on you too.
which is why you kept reading this.
these are thoughts that cross my mind when i feel unworthy of living
or just in a contemplative mood
even this silent violence makes my days quite somber
i cant put into words but yes
i do feel like i want to put the world on pause sometimes
and i know im not the only one that feels this way
so dont look at this poem like a fat kid looking at kale chips
that is why you see me
but sometimes
not there
sometimes quiet is violent

There is something i'd like to say.
Words that I mean, I know no other way.

Suddenly it struck me:
To life, strangely, death is easy.
There is no ****** escape.
God made a mistake.

Me? I live through my memories.
That way I can take a thousand eternities.
Sometimes sad, sometimes mad,
But never in sorrow.
For I know there's no tomorrow,
But at least I'll be fulfilled.
And the rest of you?
Are you ready to be just a grave in a field.

I dont regret loving you
But I do regret the things we did
I hope you regret what you did too
I know things were hard between us
But we can fix them
only if you want to
I love you then and I love you now
and Ill always love you
Like they say, you never forget your true love
It will stick with us even if we find someone else
your my true love
I just wish...that God didnt use you as the lesson I need
I wish it was someone else because I wanted to be with you for the rest of my life
I seen a future with you
but now thats slowly fading
yes things were hard
But I dont regret loving you
Im glad you came into my life
I just wish you stood
I want us to be ok again one day
like before...
I hope that your still the one
I will be waiting
But I realized that most people dont end up being with their first true love
and Im scared
because I dont want nobody taking your place
Yes we are different
But right now we're just not ready
I love you
and I dont regret loving you