If you stay on the bus long enough, you almost give yourself enough time to think
With each passing car and each passenger who scurries on by your seat
with all the distractions it's hard to think, but easy to write
look at the way he carry's himself brave and selfless
she doesn't speak a word as he offers her a seat
Thank you to the man with dark skin who dares to be kind.
And the lady with the loud jacket and a hat from 1950
she stares at her phone just like everyone else
we all sit here with earbuds in and headphones on
phones in our laps sitting next to the snoring homeless man
and I will be the only one writing
the only one listening
people are strange
some of us are sticks stuffed into marshmallows
or we are just twigs
one hour later as I arrive to my destination
we get off and the others crowd on
and I walk away with a new mind each time my body steps off the bus

Sometimes I wonder if I should have fought harder. To talk to you, to get to you. Then I think of myself, how I needed someone. It turns to selfishness. I have love, I never ever will stop wondering how much I can give. I gave it away, not to empty hands but to you. I get angry at myself. How I shouldve helped , what I couldve done. I would cry, your name through the hard nights. I did need you, i just wished you could have come to me. I notice its getting easier, I wonder what you're doing, how you are. I can't play the blame game anymore. I will always love you. I can't help it, I know and hope you'll grow a way from me within time. Its not love in the same way, physical stills there. Ive grown so much stronger though... I can feel the strength appear, my confidence in a complete crowd. I aim to feel different, hopeful. I breathe in, I breathe out. I can feel the change... And ****.

*it feels good